CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CAYLEE
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I wake before Jake does and lie on my side, watching him. The memories of the day before come flooding back, and exhaustion settles in for the long haul.
Jake told me he loves me.
I need him, and now I realize he needs me.
What he’s been through in his life, losing his sister...my god.
When we went to bed last night, we lay talking for a few more hours, where he shared more about his past. I hate that he’s gone through all it alone, and while Jake is a big muscular guy, deep down we’re all little kids still.
I’m so angry with his parents.
How dare they do that to him?
Then again, they’re broken people with their own unhealed wounds, too. No family is perfect, but these repeated patterns can’t go on.
We all need to heal so we don’t pass the traumas on.
“I don’t want you to meet them,” Jake said last night, his shame evident.
“If we’re going to make this work, I think it’s important.” I ran my hand over his chest. “For both of us.”
His head turned. “In what way?”
“You need to show them you’re not being dictated to anymore. Not hiding their secrets. They can then choose to get help or not.”
He glanced away. “Yeah. Shit. It’s ugly, though, Caylee.”
I knew immediately what he was worried about. That I would judge him. Not want him. But I needed him to know I had much more depth to me than that. While I’d set a boundary and told him I wouldn’t accept his lack of commitment and honesty, I wasn’t going to abandon him now that he’d opened up.
After what he’d been through, I understood.
Losing his cousin, Donna, to traffickers. Losing his dad's family—his aunt and uncle—and then his sister.
It was a lot. And neither his mother nor father had gotten him any counseling or noticed how it was affecting him.
That’s neglect.
Worse, because they used him to cover up his father’s crime.
Manslaughter.
What a heavy burden.
I can see why he’d want to hide that from the people in his life. Not to mention the manipulation his parents had drummed into him over the years. Even as an adult, when you can see through the abuse, that kind of programming can be hard to face head on.
Well, I wasn’t going to let them destroy what we had together. Sure, it would be something we would have to face in our relationship going forward, but I loved this man so much.
Jake was it for me. I wanted to be the person who held his hand and said I’ve got you when he needed strength.
Because we all do.
Even big, tough alpha men.
Maybe even especially them.
“I can do ugly, Jake. Because I love you, too.”
No man has ever moved so fast. Jake flipped me over onto my back, climbed on top of me and kissed me hard.
“Say it again,” he replied.
“I love you.” I grinned.
“Fuck, I love you so bad.” Jake kissed me again and then moved off of me just as fast when I grimaced. “Crap. Sorry. God, I want to make love to you so bad.”
I smiled, trusting he wouldn’t try after that terrifying man had sexually assaulted me in the van.
I understood how Jake felt.
We’d just confessed our love to one another.
The timing kind of sucked.
“Promise me you’ll take me to meet them in a few weeks. After I catch my breath.”
He nodded.
“I will.”
“Jake, my god. I’ve lost my job.” It had suddenly hit me.
“Relax. Let’s take it one day at a time.” Jake kissed my forehead. “Let’s talk to a lawyer and find out what’s possible.”
I had savings but wasn’t sure how long it would take me to feel safe enough to return to the workforce. A new workforce.
My entire life had been turned upside down.
Jake stirs beside me, waking. A small cheeky smile appears on those lovely, sexy lips of his.
“Morning.”
God, I love his raspy voice.
“Hey.”
“How do you feel?”
“Confused. Sore. Still in shock, I guess,” I admit.
Rolling, he runs a hand over my hair and gently kisses my lips. “How soon is too soon to ask you to marry me? Asking for a friend.”
“What?” I gasp, then laugh. He smirks, so I decide to give him a dose of his own medicine. “Which friend, exactly? Is he hot?”
He growls, nuzzling my neck. “If any other man even tries to look at you, I’ll have them arrested and locked up with the worst of the worst.”
Then Jake climbs over me and tugs my legs so they wrap around him. He’s gentle, knowing I’m bruised, and doesn’t take it any further.
I know he has a background in human trafficking, which I’m very grateful for. While I was very lucky, what Trinity and I went through was still absolutely terrifying.
“In answer to your question, it’s very soon. Twenty-four-hours ago I thought you were a lost cause.”
“I’ll prove I’m not,” Jake replies.
“I look forward to that.” I kiss his beautiful lips and smile. “Meanwhile, we have Christmas in a few weeks, and I’m going to need to find a new job and get some therapy.”
His smile fades, those light blue eyes studying me with a serious weight.
“It’s going to be a long journey, but I want you to know I’m going to stay by your side.” Jake brushes my hair off my face. “Why don’t you move in with me?”
My mouth parts, but no words come out. The wedding comment was partly a joke, I knew that, but there’s no humor in his eyes now.
“I need you. I want us to be together. I want to show you how serious I am, and this is how I can protect you.”
Live together?
I don’t know...
“And if I can carry on my sales pitch,” he smirks, “hear me out. You can sell or rent out your home, taking pressure off payments while you decide on when you feel ready to go back to work. Plus, think of all the amazing sex.”
My brows lift.
“You’ve really thought this through.”
He smiles more broadly, clearly proud.
“Except that part where I was kidnapped, lost my job and found out my boss is a pedophile.” I slap his arm playfully. “Do you not think maybe I want to stay in my own home and have some stability?”
“Oh.”
The big goof.
“If I can use one of your previous terms, Jake Murphy, let’s take it slow.”
He falls on his back, groaning.
“I hate old me.”
I laugh, loving new Jake.
“Fine, but I’m moving in here until you are ready to move into my place. My house is bigger, safer and—”
“Nicer, I know.”
I love his house.
I’d love to live with him.
Just not now.
I want to see him follow through on his promises, even if I have little doubt. Once he started talking, I could see that he’d realized everything would be different.
That, and he never answered any of the five calls he got last night.
Jake starts to climb out of bed, and I reach for him. “Wait. I just want to say...thank you. For sharing everything last night. For opening up. For...being you.”
“God, I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Now let go of me, or I’m going to pee on you.”
Giggling, I flop back and smile.
Yesterday was the most terrifying day of my life, but today is working out to be one of my happiest.
Jake loves me.
He just asked me to move in with him.
And he sort of, kind of, said he wanted to marry me!
Eek!