Chapter 8
Lily
“I’m so full I could explode,” I say, falling back onto the couch.
The dinner Harriet prepared was terrific, and I ate way too much, leaving me in the current situation where all I want to do is lie down on this couch and take a nap.
Harriet just left to go back home, so now I’m alone with Sebastian, who plops down on the sofa next to me, putting his legs up on the table.
“Should we discuss the interviews, Sebastian James? Or should I call you Sebby?” I tease him.
I can’t help it.
I’ve met some of the people in his life today, and it was adorable hearing the nicknames they use for him. Sebastian James isn’t really a nickname, since it is his name, but Harriet using both is precious.
“Knew you would bring that up.”
He looks over at me with a playful glimmer in his eyes and the most breathtaking smile.
Shit. That smile is lethal for women.
Especially someone like me who’s already struggling with an attraction to the man.
I get up to get my purse to distract myself from his beautiful smile and freaking dimples.
I grab my calendar and notebook.
When I’m all set, I get comfortable by tucking my legs under me.
“Okay, so I’ve categorised the interviews based on theme and vulnerability and have a suggestion for the order, but we’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with,” I tell him.
“Vulnerability? What exactly are you going to ask me, Lily?”
Hopefully he won’t shut me down.
For this to be beneficial for both of us, he needs to know where I’m coming from and what I expect of him. I want this assignment to be strong, and therefore, we’ll have to dig deep—if he’s okay with that.
“This assignment is important for me, as you know. For me to write a strong paper, I’m going to dig pretty deep into your feelings, fears, and ambitions in this sport, Sebastian.
Some questions may be too personal, and you can always just tell me that you don’t want to answer them,” I explain, hoping he’ll be open to it.
Sebastian told me he’s never gone to a mental coach or therapist, which many athletes do.
Therefore, these “sessions” with me might seem very intimate.
“It’s fine, Lily. I’ll tell you, and if you overstep a line, I’ll just put you on the first flight back to America.”
He smirks at me.
“And ruin my academic career? Luke would have your ass if you ever did something to hurt me,” I say, obviously joking.
Luke would probably have Sebastian’s back over mine if I had asked him something too personal or made him uncomfortable.
The expression on Sebastian’s face, though, looks like he would be terrified of Luke if he actually did do something to hurt me.
Gone is the playfulness that was present just mere seconds ago, and in its place is what looks like real worry.
Could it be that he’s feeling this, too? But won’t act on it, afraid of my brother?
Sebastian swallows.
“Yeah, he would.”
Instead of dwelling on the conflicting emotions in his eyes, I clear my throat and start listing the themes I’ve drawn up for my assignment. All of them won’t fit into the final paper, but I’d rather have too much material than too little.
For each topic, I give him a few examples of questions I’ll be asking so he understands it better.
I’ll ask him about his daily routines and how they change when he’s heading into practice, a game, a cup, or a championship.
What are the changes?
Does he feel he needs certain things to perform at his best?
Next, I have the theme of nerves and mental toughness.
Does he get nervous?
Does he do anything to lessen the nerves?
Is he bothered by nerves, or do they work as a trigger for his concentration?
Which brings me to the following theme: focus.
What does he need to focus on?
Does it come naturally, or does he have to do something specific to get in the zone?
I also have the themes of sleep, injuries, motivation, confidence, and team dynamics.
I’ve tried to adjust the assignment to fit him as a football player, but since I originally planned an athlete doing individual sports, some of my questions may be a little off.
When I bring this up, Sebastian lets me know he’ll let me know if the questions don’t align well with a team sport.
We decide we will start with the first interview on Thursday, which is two days away.
That gives me some time to work on my questions and observe him at a few more practices before we begin.
When we’re all done with the work-related stuff, I feel uncertain about what I should do.
Should I leave?
He invited me here to discuss work, and now we’ve done that.
I should probably leave him for the evening.
It’s still quite early; the sun is just setting outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, casting a striking glow over London.
Our days here thus far have been cloudy and grey, so the beautiful sunset grabs my attention.
Just as I’m about to open my mouth and announce my departure, Sebastian beats me to it.
“Should we put on a movie?”
I relax back into the sofa, feeling those stupid butterflies flying away once again.
It’s just a movie, Lily. It’s not like he invited you to have a make-out session.
Now, that would be amazing.
“Yeah, sure. What do you like to watch?” I want to watch a romantic movie, or maybe an action movie, but of course, Sebastian has other ideas.
“We should watch the newest Conjuring movie, I’ve heard great things,” he says, oblivious to my fright of horror movies.
I’d rather watch a true crime documentary—don’t ask me why, events that have happened are less frightening than the ones made up in a movie.
It just is.
“Hell no, Sebastian. I don’t want to watch a horror movie,” I tell him, making him smirk at me.
“What? Are you afraid?” he taunts, and part of me is tempted to lie, tell him that it’s not a problem.
The other part of me knows that if I agree to this, I’ll probably not sleep tonight.
“Of course not.”
I’ve lost it.
I’ve actually lost every brain cell available.
Why did I do that? Now I’ll probably not be able to sleep tonight.
Sebastian looks at me before he hunches over for the TV remote and pulls up the movie on one of the streaming outlets.
As he clicks away at the remote, the anxiety rises in my chest.
It’s just a movie; how can it be? I’m a big girl now.
I haven’t watched a horror movie in ages, so maybe I’ve gotten over my fright.
The movie begins, and I’m cursing myself for being stupid.
Not even twenty minutes in, and I want to grab the nearest pillow and hide behind it.
The eerie music is making everything worse. I try to imagine a different song in my head, as the one in the movie is clearly chosen for dramatic effect.
When I can’t take it anymore, I stand up, proclaiming I’m making popcorn—anything not to watch that dreadful movie, which will steal all of my sleep.
I look through the cabinets, searching for popcorn to pop in his microwave.
I might have spotted a package in the first cabinet I looked in, but I roam around, taking my time, so I miss the most I can of the movie.
“Bo!”
Hands come down on my shoulders, and I scream, feeling my heart racing after the fear inflicted by the movie multiply as Sebastian scares me.
He is right behind me, and he topples over in laughter when he sees my dramatic reaction to his little stunt.
“It’s not funny,” I grumble as I cross my arms—like a child, I know.
I may be acting childish, but so is he!
He just sneaked up on me and scared me when he obviously knew I was afraid.
“You should have just told me that you were scared, Lily,” he says when he calms down his laughing.
“I wasn’t scared. I just didn’t want to watch a horror movie,” I say, still feeling defensive.
I guess part of me still feels like a little girl in some ways, but I know many adults don’t enjoy horror movies.
“Lily, your breathing was going like you were out for a run. Your hands were almost shaking in your lap, and you bit your lip continuously. Don’t lie to me.”
Suddenly, I’m feeling very hot.
His attention to my reactions shouldn’t be a big deal; he was probably having fun at the expense of my fear, but the tingle in the nape of my neck appears nevertheless.
Who knew Sebastian picked up on so much?
“Did you even watch the movie, or just me?” I ask, not knowing what to expect of his answer, but holding my breath nonetheless.
“Mostly you, it was more entertaining,” he chuckles, making my own amusement rise.
He fucking loves seeing me suffer.
And I got stubborn.
I probably should have just admitted I was scared.
“Asshole,” I mutter, my own smile breaking through.
Sebastian finds the popcorn, puts it in the microwave, and gestures towards the living room.
“Come on, you can choose the movie.”
We settle into the couch again, this time with me browsing through the selections.
I decide it’s only fair that I get my payback by choosing the cheesiest romantic comedy I know and like.
I don’t dare try anything new; I just want to watch a comfort movie after the horror of The Conjuring.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 days starts playing, and Sebastian gets up to grab the popcorn and a can of Coke Zero for me.
As a health freak, his beverage of choice is sparkling water with pomegranate flavour. His whole fridge is stocked with it.
The can of Coke Zero for me must have been something left by one of his friends, because I haven’t ever since this man drink soda.
“God, you really need to start living, Sebastian,” I tell him.
A can of soda won’t kill him, and it’s even without sugar!
“I’m living just fine, Lily.”
He takes a long sip of his drink.
“I don’t believe that. You probably only ever drink that or regular water. Do you go out? Have sex with girls?”
He coughs, making me laugh once again, because this is the second time today I’m making this man choke.
Some of his precious sparkling water spills on the floor whilst Sebastian struggles to calm his breathing, the carbonic acid probably making it more difficult.
“Oh, dear. I swear I’m not trying to kill you,” I say, getting a flashback to this morning when I told him I’d seduce his coach to get the best seats at the stadium.
“You really need to stop talking about sex when I have food or drinks in my mouth,” he mumbles, finally recovering from his coughs.
I study him, trying to read his expression but coming up pretty blank.
It’s fun getting to know him better.
“Okay. I’ll just talk about sex when you’re not eating and drinking then.”
I go back to watching the movie, feeling his eyes on me out of the peripheral of my vision.
Those damn tingles won’t calm down when I feel his attention on me, but it’s a pleasant feeling.
When I look over, he quickly averts his eyes, back to the TV.
Maybe I shouldn’t talk about sex around this man at all. But it’s so fun to see him all flustered whenever I surprise him.
I also think he does need to live a little.
Ever since we got to London, he’s all work and no play. It’s clear that life over here is focused on work for him, but he does live here.
That means he also needs to implement some fun in his life. I want to bring out all sides of him, and I know he’s got it in himself.
He took Luke skydiving to cheer him up during a rough patch with Jessica.
I almost can’t believe an adrenaline junkie like that doesn’t want to enjoy a can of soda.
But the rush of a skydive or a bungee jump gives him more than soda.
It does make sense.
I pull one of the blankets over my legs and snuggle more into the sofa, enjoying the story of two people falling in love by annoying the living shit out of each other.