Chapter 19
Sebastian
Over the next few days, things go back to normal. Lily stays one more day in my apartment before she insists for the hundredth time to go back down to her flat.
I’m tempted to tell her that I don’t want her to stay just because she’s been sick; I just want her to stay.
These last few days have been good for us. It forced us to talk again, and with Lily being down and exhausted, she didn’t have enough energy to argue with me.
So now, we’re back to our routine of eating breakfast before going to the stadium and going home together for dinner with Harriet.
At least something good came out of her falling sick.
She wanted to attend my game on Wednesday, but after some conviction on my part, she stayed home and watched it on TV.
She still had a slight fever, and without someone watching her, I didn’t want to risk her fainting again.
She called me dramatic, but I’ll take that over having a scare like that again.
I’ve also made up with the guys.
Suppose I can call it that. It’s not like we fought on game night, but my behaviour was uncalled for.
I was a moody bastard the whole evening, shooting daggers at them for looking and interacting with Lily.
When I mentioned it, they just laughed and told me they liked to rile me up. I’m not usually one who gets his temper going, so the guys saw this as the perfect opportunity to get under my skin.
Nevertheless, I apologised for being a dick.
After practice, I make my way to the office space I know Lily prefers.
Sometimes I’ll look for her and find her in a new spot, but today, she’s in the regular space, overlooking the field.
She beams when she sees me and starts packing up her stuff.
I’m reaching for her hand without even thinking, but luckily, she doesn’t seem to notice before I’ve gathered myself and pulled it back.
The number of times I’ll do something like that…
Reach for her hand, linger a little too long in a hug, or think about kissing her before catching myself.
I’m planning on doing all those things, but I need to talk to Luke first.
I finally got the clear to go to Vegas. It will be a short trip, but one worth making. This time, we’re flying private to save some time as well.
I’m going to talk to him in Vegas—if I manage to make it that far before crossing the line.
Lily seems to understand my struggles without saying anything.
She’ll flirt and be her usual cheerful self, but she seems to be thinking the same thing as me.
We will get there; we just need a little more time.
When we get back to the apartment, Harriet is ready with dinner. As always, it smells fantastic, and we set the table before sitting down.
We managed to complete one more interview for Lily’s assignment today, and I must say, speaking with her is refreshing.
I’ve never had a mental coach or spoken to someone professionally—never really had the urge to do so—but I know several players who do and speak powerfully about it.
Talking with Lily is making me reflect more on things connected to my performance and what matters and does not.
Knowing her so well also works in my favour, as I find it easier to open up to her than to a stranger.
When dinner is all done, Harriet heads home, and for the first time in a week, it feels natural to ask Lily to stay for a movie again.
Such a small thing, but I’ve missed it dearly.
“No fucking horror movies, then I’m leaving,” she says, making me chuckle.
After the fiasco of The Conjuring, I won’t put on a horror movie, knowing she hates them.
It was fun scaring her though, also gave me a reason to touch her.
Christ.
I’m a starved man.
Having to scare a girl to have a reason to touch her. I really need to have that conversation with Luke.
We settle into the couch and find a documentary about a murder case.
Apparently, real murder is less scary than fake murder.
After a while, Lily gets up to grab a snack and some drinks.
She comes back with her usual Coke Zero.
For me, she’s bought a glass of water with ice cubes and a Coke Zero. When she puts that down, she winks at me, which makes me chuckle.
She likes to tease me about living, but I appreciate the water, too.
I don’t miss her sitting down closer to me when she drops back down on the sofa.
It would be so easy to drag her into my lap.
Before I can think too much about it, I do just that, her head resting against my chest.
“Scared, Bennet? Need me as support for the scary documentary?”
She gazes up at me.
I bring an arm around her.
“Yeah, something like that.”
We watch the rest of the documentary, with Lily resting on my chest and me running my fingers occasionally down her arm.
It feels like the most natural embrace, having her in my lap.
When it nears the end, Lily sits up, bringing her legs on either side of mine and her arms around my neck.
I feel her weight on my thighs, and my body comes alive in seconds.
I swallow, looking into her eyes.
“Relax, I won’t kiss you,” she says, but her position is really testing my limits here.
“I’m already struggling here, and you’re not helping the case, Lily,” I tell her, resting my forehead against hers.
“We could just call Luke?” she suggests, and I’m tempted to do that.
Just get it over with.
“I need to do this in person in case he needs to get in a punch, you know,” I say, half joking, half serious.
Lily hits me lightly in the chest.
“Don’t say that.”
I rest my hand on her lower back.
“Okay. A week then,” she whispers.
“A week,” I confirm.