Chapter 30
Sasha had a lot to think about after the committee meeting. Thoughts crawled around her head like ants. Maybe she’d drunk too much Oolong tea, but that night she couldn’t sleep.
It had been wonderful to see Ben again. Even though they’d hardly spoken, she’d been aware of him all evening, sitting quietly next to her.
He’d been so close she could feel his heat.
It had been hard to concentrate on the discussions flying around the table.
She’d kept imagining what would happen if she turned to him, and leaned in, snuggling up to that muscular chest. She knew just how he would smell.
How it would feel with his arms around her.
She’d had to clench her hands into fists and ram them in her pockets to stop herself from putting a hand on his arm or his thigh.
He’d looked tired, dark shadows under his eyes. She’d wondered how his trading was going. Was he keeping long hours in front of the screen? Had he had time to finish the gorgeous kintsugi bowl in his workshop?
She lay in bed, tossing and turning, until the sheets were tangled round her legs.
Just what was she going to do about Ben? She was his matchmaker and she was determined to help him. She’d promised to find him a match and there was no way she was going to let him down.
But how was she going to find his match if she continued to draw a blank with him? She’d made a note of his cup on the tray as she’d cleared up after the meeting. But again, despite all her efforts, her psychic intuition had sensed nothing from his tea leaves.
After the meeting broke up, she’d noticed Chloé making a beeline for Ben, pulling him to one side. She had no idea what they were chatting about, but Ben had smiled and the lines between his eyebrows had temporarily smoothed.
In the short time she’d known her, Sasha liked Chloé a lot.
Who wouldn’t warm to her sunny personality?
Like Mr Davis, she was a glass-half-full person, seeing the best in people.
She was warm and caring, easily making friends with everyone around town.
All the customers seemed to like her and were on first-name terms with her.
Many of them had let her video and photograph them.
She’d already made a few short testimonials of customers talking about Matcha Moments.
Mrs Carbone and her granddaughter. Alice, Mollie, Paloma and the rest of the Book Clubbers.
She’d even coaxed a smile from Leo on his rounds.
Everyone was very complimentary about Matcha Moments.
The delicious matcha lattes, iced lattes and smoothies.
Nathan’s pastries, desserts and cakes. Sasha had enjoyed watching the different reels.
It was heartwarming to know how much the café was appreciated, even thought it would only be open for one last month.
Chloé got on with Klara too and was helping her at The Bookery, updating her website and suggesting ideas for events.
They’d planned evening panels with authors, themed round fantasy, crime and romance.
She suggested Klara join book clubs on Facebook and promote the shop as an ideal space for local authors to host their book launches.
Nathan had hired Chloé to build his new website. ‘As soon as my master’s is over I’m going to design and bake celebration cakes for people,’ he had told Sasha. ‘I could charge a couple of grand for a bespoke wedding cake. If I get enough bookings I might not have to get a proper job.’
Nathan and Casey were an item now. He hardly hung out with Klara and Sasha. She only saw him when he delivered his baked goods and desserts. It felt as if their gang was breaking up, she mentioned to Klara one afternoon.
‘It’s fine,’ said Klara. ‘We’ll still be here.
When Nathan and Casey have been dating for so long they become boring Old Marrieds, we’ll be here for him.
He might still need a knees-up every now and then, and he’ll call us.
We can be old maids together, hanging out, drinking cocktails and smoking cigars. ’
Sasha gave her a look. ‘Gotta love your description of us!’
‘What? Not cigars then – an old pipe? Or vapes will probably be vintage by then!’
‘Oh, Klara!’ Sasha giggled. Klara made still being single in their old age sound so glamorous.
Sasha didn’t think it was likely that Klara would stay single.
She and Leo seemed to be getting along .
. . or at least not killing each other. Sasha wondered when they would realize they were more than just friends.
Would she soon be seeing less of Klara too?
It was natural for people to spend less time with their friends when they fell in love.
Sasha and Klara would both be thirty in a couple of years. Time marched on. She dreaded leaving her twenties behind. But soon they’d all be properly grown up. Everyone would settle down with their long-term partners.
Apart from Sasha. She’d resigned herself to being single.
She’d never had much luck with men. And when Dominic broke up with her, followed by the law school debacle, it had nearly killed her. The break-up by text had been typical of his attitude. He’d never had much respect for her or treated her as if she was worth it. He’d been using her all along.
That experience had made her swear off relationships for ever. She couldn’t live through the pain, the self-flagellation, the wondering what she’d done wrong again. She’d felt such a fool when she saw that she’d been taken advantage of.
She was happier on her own. And she was free to daydream and fantasize about who she liked. At least, that was the theory.
In reality, her fantasies were more and more about the one person she couldn’t have. Ben had listened to her and had stopped coming into the café. It only made her miss him even more.
One drizzly Friday, Nathan had an assessment and couldn’t deliver the café’s order of baked goods. When Annie arrived at her usual time before lunch, Sasha took the opportunity to nip out to Sugar and Spice to collect them.
Sasha was glad to be out for a change. The bakery smelled delicious.
Anders was busy – first, bagging up fresh crusty French sticks for Reverend Gillian’s weekly pensioners’ lunch at the vicarage.
Next, a mum chose some sticky jam doughnuts for her toddlers.
Anders took the payment and handed over the paper bag with a smile.
Before serving the next customer, he beckoned to Sasha, gesturing to the large white boxes full of pastries, cakes and cookies.
‘Here, Sasha. You sure you will be all right taking it over? I can help later when it’s less busy?’
She glanced at the queue. In the time she’d come in, it had started spilling out onto the pavement.
‘I’ll be fine, if you could help load me up.
’ She stretched out her arms and bent her knees slightly and he balanced the two boxes on her arms. Someone held the door open and she edged out, peering over the boxes.
Outside, the drizzle had turned into heavy rain.
She waited under the bakery’s canopy for it to lighten.
Across the green she could see Chloé in her bright-pink rain mac, on her way to Matcha Moments.
She walked briskly down one of the paths, twirling a pink umbrella over her head.
Chloé really was a ray of sunshine, Sasha thought, smiling.
She could almost hear a Disney theme tune surrounding her like an aura.
She was about to call out to her, when she recognized Ben coming down the other path.
Her throat tightened. His collar was turned up and he hunched against the rain.
She hadn’t seen him since the committee meeting, already a couple of weeks ago.
He was still staying away from his regular spot in Matcha Moments.
She wished he would come back. She fixed her eyes on him, manifesting her wish.
Hoping he’d cross to the pavement and go into her café.
Chloé had also seen him on the other path. She rushed over to him, offering him the shelter of her umbrella. Ben laughed and shook his head. He was fine, Sasha imagined him saying, knowing he didn’t like to accept help.
Ben eventually put up his own umbrella, holding it angled, as if sheltering against Chloé’s beams of positivity.
Eventually, as the two of them walked down the same path, he started to angle his umbrella away, in order to answer her questions.
Sasha could see he was laughing at something Chloé had said.
It was like a shard of glass, piercing her ribs.
They arrived at the corner of the green and crossed the main road together.
Ben pointed towards Coffee Bean, and Chloé gave him a wave and toss of her hair and ducked into Matcha Moments.
Ben continued down the high street. He was opposite the bakery now, on the other side of the cobbled street to Sasha.
There was a steady stream of traffic and he had to wait to cross.
The rain was thundering down, and Sasha didn’t dare move. The cake boxes were thin cardboard and they would get soaked. She ducked further under the canopy, behind a pillar, wondering whether to make a dash for it.
Once the traffic stopped, Ben would cross the road.
He would be sure to see her standing there with the boxes.
She would be forced to talk to him. He was bound to offer to help her with the boxes: he was polite like that and it was a perfectly normal thing for a regular customer to do.
Once he’d helped bring them to the café she’d have to ask him inside.
Maybe that way things could go back to normal.
He could resume his daily teas at the café.
She let out her breath in relief. Everything was going to be fine.
The traffic stood still and Ben glanced left and right and crossed. But just as he reached the kerb, a woman with a double buggy pushed right in front of him. He landed further down the pavement, heading towards Coffee Bean without seeing Sasha huddled behind the pillar.
That’s for the best.
So why did her heart feel so heavy?
It was getting harder and harder for her to pretend she felt nothing for him, even to herself. If he’d helped her with the boxes, carried them into the café, she might have given in and thrown herself onto his chest.
This was ridiculous. There was nothing between her and Ben. One brief stroke of her wrist. A few seconds of arm rubbing. The brush of lips on lips.
‘Sash! Sasha – it’s stopped raining, quick!’ Klara appeared by her side with an umbrella. ‘Come on, let me take one of those.’
‘What? I was just waiting for the rain to stop. I’m fine – just a bit of drizzle now.’
‘Let me help.’ Klara managed to lift one of the boxes off her. ‘I was just coming over for a pick-me-up. The Bookery’s dead today – the rain’s put people off.’
Once inside Matcha Moments, Sasha saw that Chloé was already ensconced in the corner table by the window – Ben’s table. She was staring at her open laptop. Annie had already served her with her favourite latte.
‘Hi, Sasha! Klara! Catching up on some paperwork. Pops has Gloria round and I thought I’d give them some privacy.’
‘Yes – of course!’ said Sasha. ‘You’re welcome to sit in here – as long as you like.’
‘Just saw that hottie – Ben. He was heading for Coffee Bean. I don’t know why he didn’t come in here. I did ask him. Maybe I scared him away!’
Sasha tried for a light chuckle but it sounded to her more like a sob. ‘Oh, my customers are allowed to go to different venues. Coffee Bean is definitely better for meetings. This is a place to relax.’
‘Yes, you’re right – although I have so much to do. Still, the view here really is amazing even in the rain. It hardly feels like I’m working at all, gazing at the trees.’
The trees were cloaked in the bright-green leaves and pink blossom of mid-spring.
The lease renewal deadline had whooshed past and Sasha had been so miserable about Ben, she’d hardly noticed.
She’d done nothing about the lease and Eleanor hadn’t chased her.
She was probably too busy drawing up contracts for a new leaseholder. Sasha didn’t want to think about it.
Klara took a slurp of her cinnamon matcha latte and perched on a chair near Chloé. ‘Did I hear you say Ben’s rather a hottie?’
Chloé blushed. ‘Don’t you think? I had a peek of his abs when he took off his sweater one day . . . and those cheekbones . . . I swear he could be a model.’ She fanned herself with her paper napkin, and they both giggled.
‘Maybe it’s time you had your matcha reading,’ Klara declared. ‘Sasha will guide you to your perfect match.’