Chapter 37
Nathan loaded trays with plates of matcha roulade and tiramisu. ‘Hey, Sasha, if you’re really not going to be able to renew your lease, we could look for a new venue instead – together?’
‘Really?’ Sasha hugged Nathan, tears blurring her vision. She was so touched. Despite Eleanor’s callousness, her friends were coming through for her in the most amazing way.
Nathan nodded. ‘I never wanted to stay in academia or to work for a financial institution. That’s my parents’ dream for me. Our work together crafting desserts has been so much fun. I’m planning to expand my range of celebration cakes, as well as designing some bespoke. We could partner up.’
Sasha swiped at her face and grinned. ‘Even if we could afford the lease renewal, this place wouldn’t be big enough for both of us: there’s not enough space for a kitchen and baking equipment – you need a proper unit – there’s an industrial estate south of the town that has units you could fit out for catering. Have you had a look there?’
‘When I’m ready. I have to finish my paper for my master’s first. My parents think I’m looking for a job in the City, not setting up a cake business. But I want to help you, Sasha. The committee were right. Matcha Moments is truly the heart of Bramleigh Green.’
‘Thanks, Nathan – we could think about that later.’
Mollie and Paloma were back sitting at the committee’s feasting table.
Sasha saw them shake their heads, and Reverend Gillian, Virginia and Lucas turned her way.
If she had any more sympathetic squeezes of her arm, she might not be able to control her emotions.
So she headed off to serve the far end of the tables before the tears threatened to spill.
Once she started she would be a mess. People needed their desserts first.
‘Matcha roulade or tiramisu anyone?’ she called out.
A table of young women – obviously Chloé’s followers – started humming with appreciation. Chloé herself was back at the committee table, sitting next to Ben. Sasha had deliberately avoided glancing their way. She still felt a pain in her chest every time she thought of Ben.
Klara had been running a few errands and was now listening to Leo and Casey play. She clapped and danced, swishing her skirt. She’d be the first one disco dancing later.
Sasha’s trays were soon emptied; she returned to Matcha Moments to collect more desserts.
‘Nathan? Where are you?’ she muttered, looking out for her friend’s dark bob.
The roulade was portioned out on plates, ready to serve, but the café was empty.
Nathan was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was preparing more desserts or he was in the loo.
Casey had disappeared as well while the band took a pause.
Lucas had started playing some soul tunes.
Klara perched on a chair next to Leo while he ate. They seemed to be getting on fine these days. Sasha wondered if they were in the first throes of attraction. It was hard to tell. Klara liked to boss Leo around but Sasha was sure she’d caught sparks flying between them.
‘When you’re ready, we’d love some roulade,’ Mr Davis called over to her. Gloria cuddled Puddles, bobbing up and down to the music.
Sasha couldn’t avoid going to the committee table. No one else had served them yet and she could hardly let them go hungry. ‘Hi, lovelies – hasn’t the music been great?’ She placed plates of roulade and tiramisu in front of them.
‘Oh, yes – our turn on the dance floor soon, isn’t that right, Puddles?’ Mr Davis twinkled at Gloria.
Chloé was stunning in a tropical-print halter-neck dress.
She sat between her grandfather and Ben, head tilted to one side, smiling and laughing, her hand resting lightly on Ben’s arm.
Ben had cleaned up after the pottery workshops; his hair was damp from the shower.
He looked fresh and relaxed, in a smart white linen shirt and dark jeans.
As Sasha leaned over to serve him and Chloé their desserts, she could smell the freshness of his citrus shower gel and sandalwood aftershave, mixing with Chloé’s rose and musk perfume. Pain twisted sharply. She had pushed them together. But she was still wracked with jealousy.
‘Pops told me about Eleanor!’ Chloé turned to Sasha, eyes glowing in sympathy. ‘What a bitch. How could she?’
Sasha nodded. She couldn’t speak. She should be sitting next to Ben, basking in the shy, smiling glances he was sending to Chloé.
He was obviously enjoying her company. She was good fun.
Light-hearted, bubbly and confident. The polar opposite of ‘intense’ Sasha.
Disappointment tightened her insides. Somehow, she’d thought their conversations had been important to Ben.
That he wouldn’t have been able to start flirting with another woman straightaway.
But no. He’d probably forgotten all of their shared connection.
The notes they’d left for each other. The cute doodles.
Maybe they hadn’t meant anything to him.
He was so creative. He probably doodled on Post-its for tons of people.
You told him to hang out with Chloé. Don’t be surprised if he’s listened to your advice.
She could almost hear her Por Por’s spirit tutting at her.
Sasha was being too intense, as usual. Ben had come to her for matchmaking advice.
That was all. He’d been feeling vulnerable.
Ready to fall for the next attractive woman that came along.
Initially she’d thought it was her, because she’d felt a connection to him.
But it was most likely because she’d listened to his problems, showing him sympathy and kindness.
Transference, as they called it in therapy speak.
It was lucky that Sasha had pushed him towards Chloé instead. Now he’d fallen for Chloé. Which proved Sasha had been right to nip their growing feelings for each other in the bud. They hadn’t been real.
Sasha marched into the café and grabbed another tray of desserts. I won’t cry, she told herself. No more crying.
Paloma emerged from the ladies. ‘Hi, Sasha. So sorry about Eleanor. But you are still the winner of the Heart of Bramleigh Green Award and the money is your prize. You could look for another premises. Invest in your matchmaking business. It’s up to you.’
‘Thanks, Paloma.’ Sasha blinked hard, to stop tears falling.
‘Has anyone seen Casey?’ Leo interrupted. ‘Our last set is about to start.’
Klara was behind him. ‘What’s happened, guys? Everyone seems so depressed in here!’
‘Oh, Klara!’ Sasha blew her nose, desperately trying not to break down in public.
Paloma quickly updated Klara about what had happened with the prize and Eleanor saying it was too late as Wisdom Kitchens had made a higher offer and were taking over.
Klara immediately threw her arms around Sasha, the last traces of awkwardness between them forgotten. ‘I’m so sorry, Sasha – I know how much this café means to you, all the hard work you’ve put in, making Matcha Moments such an amazing place. I’m here for you – whatever happens.’
‘We’ll fight this, right?’ Chloé had followed Klara in and overheard Paloma. ‘I’ll post about this. A local business owner being driven out by the big guy. The Chloé-rites will spread the word to help the café.’
Sasha smiled weakly. Chloé was the last person she wanted to see. And there was Ben, following her, no longer relaxed and flirting, a crease of worry between his eyebrows as he listened to what had happened.
It was hard to see him and Chloé together. Here in the café where she’d been so happy.
Paloma smiled at Chloé. ‘That’s a great idea. Surely a social media campaign about how a kitchen showroom is stealing the heart of the community will make Eleanor see sense?’
Mollie shuddered. ‘That woman has no conscience.’
‘Let’s publish an article about the Heart of Bramleigh Green Award and how Eleanor is going against the whole community – because of greed!’ protested Klara.
‘It’s worth speaking to the Bramleigh News.’ Ben nodded. ‘I’ll have a word with Katie.’
Sasha was intensely aware of him. The shirt he wore had a couple of buttons undone and she noticed the dusting of freckles under his collarbone. But she didn’t dare catch his amber gaze. She dug her fingernails into her palms to stop herself begging him to hold her.
He wasn’t hers to hug. Chloé stood next to him, her hand casually possessive on his arm.
‘I’m so grateful to all of you,’ Sasha burst out.
‘And I’m going to miss you all very much, but I really have to ask you to leave.
I have to tidy up. Such high pollen count tonight – it’s bringing up my allergies .
. .’ She grabbed a tissue and mopped at her face, rushing behind the counter, before she completely fell apart in front of all the wonderful friends she’d made in the last year. Especially Ben.
She ran a sink with hot sudsy water and dunked bowls and equipment in them. She could sense Ben hovering nearby, waiting to talk to her. The sympathy in his eyes was intolerable; she busied herself washing and clanking trays until she heard the door open and shut as everyone left.
A couple of minutes later, Nathan emerged from the courtyard with Casey, both looking flushed. Nathan had his shirt buttoned up wrong – which wasn’t like him. He saw her face and immediately switched from the walk of shame to stretching out his arms in solidarity.
‘Sasha – are you OK? What’s happened?’
‘I’m fine, Nathan – sorry – I just need to be alone. Tonight has been – a lot. Casey – I think Leo is starting the next set.’
‘Yeah – better go.’ Casey scurried out.
‘OK.’ Nathan took over the washing-up. ‘Let me sort this. I won’t say a word.’
Klara was back. ‘Sasha – I do have to go and help set up the outdoor cinema but I came back to give you a hug. I can’t believe that woman and the bloody kitchen showroom. What a cow!’
Sasha started to cry for real then. ‘I don’t want to leave you all. My café. The flat.’ Tears streamed down her face.
Klara and Nathan stretched their arms round her, soap suds and all.
‘We’re going to miss you so much!’ said Nathan.
‘Me too. And, Klara – I’m sorry again about the things I said.’
‘It’s fine. You were right about some of it. I don’t always understand what you’re going through. But we’re friends. And real friends might not always say what you want to hear – sometimes we have to dish out some hard truths because we – we want the best for each other.’
‘Absolutely – even though we see things differently. You’re still my person.’
‘You’re my person too!’
Nathan nodded. ‘You guys are my real mates – we’re here for each other, no matter what. That’s what we do.’
‘Oh, gosh – I have to go!’ said Klara, tearing herself away from the group hug. ‘I’m meant to be selling popcorn – it’s your favourite, Sasha – Casablanca.’
‘I know.’ Sasha nodded. ‘Sorry – I’m going to give it a miss. I’m completely done in. I have to open the café tomorrow.’
‘Ben’s there – don’t you want to watch with him?’
‘I told you how I feel about that,’ said Sasha wiping her face. ‘Anyway, he’s with Chloé.’
Nathan gave her a long look but didn’t say anything.
Eventually Klara nodded. ‘All right. It’s up to you.’ She left, blowing kisses, and Sasha blew them back.
Nathan packed up his equipment and left. Sasha finished sweeping and mopping the floor. When the place was tidy, she went up to her flat. She couldn’t watch Casablanca knowing Ben was there, sitting next to Chloé, and it was Sasha who had driven them together.
Why had she lied to him? Why did she tell him Chloé was his match?
Oh, god. What had she done?
She ran a bath and tried to relax in the warm water.
But the bubbles were too foamy and the lavender scent too strong.
She kept thinking of Ben with Chloé. They’d be reclining in deckchairs in the cinema area on the green, the light from the screen playing over their faces.
Would their hands slip towards each other?
Would Ben’s strong fingers intertwine with Chloé’s brown freckly ones?
Would he be making those tiny circles with his thumb on the side of her palm?
Just a few more days and Sasha would be leaving the café and the flat to go back to London. She wouldn’t see Ben again.
Ben. She didn’t know what this attraction was between them any more. Was Por Por’s warning right? Maybe she had got too close to him, but surely this was about more than just transference? These feelings she had were so strong. They felt real.
She couldn’t stop thinking about him. The soft brush of his lips on hers. How good it had felt to be held by him. So good it had scared the crap out of her.
She’d been terrified of just how much she’d felt for him. She knew she was too intense, too much. What if one day he realized it? What if he rejected her like Dominic had? Ben’s rejection would destroy her.
It was safer to cut this thing off, before she got in too deeply.
Before she got hurt. So she hadn’t let herself fall into his arms the way she longed to.
She’d pretended it was because of her matchmaking business.
Por Por’s words telling her never to get too close to a client were a good excuse to hide behind. That’s what it had been. An excuse.
The truth was, she was too damn scared to love him.
And she’d got herself in a state, worried about the café and the matchmaking business. What people would say.
I’m making a mistake.
She should be more like Klara, who didn’t care what anyone said about her. She said it was important to follow her heart. Is Klara right?
Sasha couldn’t lie in the bath any longer. She drained the water, rinsed off the bubbles and towelled herself dry. She changed into her softest cotton nightshirt, covered in kittens.
From the open window of her bedroom, she could hear the music from the last scene of Casablanca.
She crossed over to the window so she could catch the ending.
Ingrid Bergman flying off with her husband, to safety, while Bogie remained in the bar with his policeman friend. The start of a beautiful friendship.
As tears streamed down her cheeks, she thought of Chloé and Ben, together. Pain scythed into her ribs, as if someone had cut out her heart.
But she recognized the truth – she had done this to herself.