Chapter 23
Adam swallowed hard. “Where to begin.” He looked across the yard. This was going to be tough. He had decided not to tell her about his leg. It would be too much to dump on her at once. Who was he kidding? It was too much for him. What if she felt sorry for him? He couldn’t bear to see the pity in her eyes.
Melinda watched him. Patiently waiting. She wasn’t at all like Anita.
“I’ll do my best to skip the gory details.”
Softly she said, “I’m a good listener.” She scooted her chair closer.
“I went into the service with a plan. I’d retire sometime around forty. I had been in for about five years when I met Anita. In the beginning she didn’t seem to mind that I was gone for six months or more at a time. She lived close to where I was stationed in San Diego and we stayed in touch when I was deployed, but when I was stateside we spent all our time together. Hiking, biking, climbing, surfing, you name it. We did it all. She loved going full throttle, all the time. We traveled extensively. All good times.”
“You loved her.”
“I did.” He took a sip of his beer. “I was going to ask her to marry me.”
Melinda’s eyes grew wide but she remained quiet.
Adam’s voice dropped. “Nothing can prepare you for when you’re shipped to the sandbox.” Mel’s eyes drew together, confused. “That’s how the military personnel deployed with me referred to the desert. It’s like a never-ending sandbox. Only in the war zone instead of ants and bugs crawling around, the bastards sink IEDs into roadways.”
He kept his voice steady. “In the military you train, train and train some more. We’re willing to fight for our country. You can never fully be prepared for what the enemy is going to do. As an officer my primary job is to always protect my men. I will take whatever comes our way as long as they’re okay I was good. It’s our mentality and it’s difficult to explain that connection of brotherhood.”
Adam felt his gut tighten. He pushed himself to keep talking. “We were on a routine patrol. My men and I were driving behind the lead vehicle. They hit an IED. They died instantly. Three men and one woman. Good Marines. Gone.” His voice cracked. “Before I could register what happened to the Humvee in front of us, we hit another IED.”
He dropped his head into his hands. He felt Mel come to his side and slide her arms around him. She held him close. This small act comforted him.
He choked on the next few sentences. Gulping to take in oxygen. He felt as if there was a vise constricting the air from his lungs. Beads of sweat covered his forehead. His heart began to pound. He forced himself to keep going. “My driver and I were injured in the next blast. I never felt such pain. I could see him screaming. I was temporarily deaf. His arm was gone.” He shuddered. “After that, time stopped. Everything seemed to happen in ultra-slow motion. I have no idea how long it took until we were airlifted out. I had several surgeries to put me back together and a pretty bad concussion.” He paused. Mel didn’t ask any questions. She waited for him to continue. “A lot of lives changed that day. Mine included.”
Melinda smoothed away the beads of sweat that popped up on his forehead, and wrapped him in her arms.
“Anita came to see me in the hospital. At first, she was compassionate and understanding. Losing my people was unbearable. For those of us who survived, our injuries were severe. She said she understood and would stand by me.” He shook his head slowly from side to side. “When she came to see me in the rehab facility, the reality that I was different changed things between us. Not for me, but I could see the look in her eyes. In an instant it changed her. I took early retirement, I went back to a small town near Parris Island. I rented a house and Anita moved in with me. I wanted to believe everything was going to work out. But that was the beginning of the end.”
“You don’t have to talk about it anymore. I get the idea. It was easier for her when you were gone for long stretches of time.”
“No. While I was healing and going through physical therapy, she knew I was dealing with my physical injuries. But the PTSD, that was worse. I kept blaming myself. What could I have done differently to keep my men safe?”
“Adam. That is normal. Especially as an officer it is part of your training.” She moved to her chair and grasped his hands with hers. She tilted his chin up to meet her eyes. The simple gesture almost pushed him over the emotional edge as the memories engulfed him.
“Anita couldn’t deal with the reality that I had changed. I shut down. I guess she thought we could just start a new life and enjoy my retirement.” With a snort he said, “Unplanned retirement.”
“How did you end up in Connecticut?”
“Anita and I had a disagreement. She wanted things the way they used to be, me to be the way I used to be. I wasn’t that easygoing guy anymore. She moved back to California and I moved here.”
“I’m sure Will was thrilled to have you close by.”
“He was. Is.” Adam finally looked Mel directly in the eye. “I know I have a hard time connecting with people. I’m much warier when I meet someone new.”
“Which is why dating is challenging for you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
“What if the way I changed, because I hold myself responsible for the deaths of my team, will affect any future relationship? Look at what it did with Anita.”
“I don’t know what she felt or why. You must know it’s not uncommon for a spouse or loved one to have a harder time dealing with a veteran when they return home from a war zone whether they wear their injuries on the inside or externally. I do know we all change as a result of events in our lives. I know I’m different.” She rested her hand over his hammering heart. “You need to be who you are today. Let go of the pain you feel she caused. The right woman will love you, scars and all.”
Her tender smile cracked the icy band that encased his heart. She was right. Someday he would find love. He took her hand from his chest and gently kissed the top of it.
That was when he knew Will was dead on. He was falling in love with Melinda.
He let go of her hand. Melinda didn’t seem to notice it was abrupt. He picked up his mug and gulped down the lukewarm beer. “Thank you for listening.”
In a quiet voice she said, “I’m always here for you, Adam.”
He knew she meant it. “You’re very sweet.”
They sat quietly in the waning light, listening to the peepers, each lost in their own thoughts. When darkness had fallen he broke the silence. “I’m quite the mess, aren’t I?”
“You’re not. I wish you had told me about this before I started working to find you a match. It would have helped me.”
He couldn’t help but flash her a big grin. “Are you saying if I had shown you my warts, we might have skipped Susan?”
She held her hands up in mock defense. “I can’t be held responsible for someone who deliberately evades the truth.”
“No sweat. I’ve forgiven you.” He watched her cheeks flush an attractive shade of pink.
“If I had something to throw at you, I would.” She laughed. “Any interest in staying for dinner?”
“Thanks, but I’m going to head home. I told Will I’d swing by. He says Stacey is going to want a pergola in their backyard. Seems you’re a trendsetter.”
She beamed. “That’s good for you, more clients.”
He nodded. “I hadn’t thought of it in that context. Would you mind if I took a few pictures? I put together an idea book for when I meet with new customers.”
“Of course. Take as many as you want.”
Adam tilted his mug back and drained the remnants of his beer. “I appreciate the beer and the talk.”
“If you can keep a secret, I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone since I moved to Chester.”
His eyes grew wide and he said, “Of course.”
“Before starting the matchmaking business, I was a therapist. Listening is kind of my gig.” Mel held a finger to her lips and smiled.
Adam looked at her and said, “I can see how you’d be a great therapist. Why did you stop?”
“I’d rather help people find love, and my background helps.” She cautioned, “I wouldn’t want word getting around, though. Some people might get turned off thinking they were talking to a shrink instead of a simple matchmaker.”
“Are you Dr. Phillips?”
With a shake of her head, she said, “Phillips is my married name, I was Dr. Melinda Grayson.”
Slack-jawed, he asked, “Didn’t you have some night time radio show?”
Her eyes popped. “How would you know about that?”
“I used to listen to a lot of talk radio when I was in the hospital. You were good. Why did you stop?” What he didn’t say was she helped him through some very dark, very lonely nights.
“I needed a change. I left all that behind when I moved here.”
“That’s a shame. A lot of people would call in just to tell you how your advice helped them. I know listening to you helped me. You were kind of a big deal at the rehab facility.”
“I’m glad. After the accident, I didn’t have anything to give. I needed to heal myself first.”
Adam nodded in understanding. “It’s like in an airplane. The attendant always instructs you to put your oxygen mask on first and then help others.”
“I guess that does apply to this situation.” Melinda stood up and took his glass. “Please keep my secret.”
Adam stood next to Mel. “You know, I could help you set up a studio and you could do it from the privacy of your home. Nobody would have to ever know and you could help people again.”
“Adam.”
He could hear the warning in her voice. He had tread on ground best left alone. “Sorry, Mel.”
She laid a hand on his arm. “I appreciate the offer, but I am very happy being a matchmaker.” She crossed the patio and looked back over her shoulder. “Take your pictures and come in before you leave. I have a check for you.”
Melinda disappeared inside the house leaving Adam alone. Should he have gone further and told her the extent of his injuries?
Melinda closed the door behind her and sagged against the frame. She was shaken to the core. Angry at a woman she had never met, Anita.
Adam had served his country with honor and because of that suffered terrible injuries, endured emotional trauma, and he blamed himself for the loss of his people. She had worked with a few police officers after a particularly bad altercation and understood how someone in Adam’s position would have felt. It was unfathomable to Melinda that Anita didn’t support him better during his recovery. Not that she would ever tell Adam, but he was better off without Anita in his life. He was a good man and deserved so much better and she was going to make sure he found that woman.
The back door banged and Adam strolled in. “I got a couple of pictures to show Stacey. Will’s going to have an impatient woman on his hands until we get it done.”
Melinda grinned. “You know, I was thinking—I could host a barbeque and invite people over. You might get a few more clients.”
“Or, if you really wanted to throw a party, just have one.” He winked. “After all, from what I’ve heard from Stacey, your parties are legendary.”
“Then it’s settled. And if you happen to get any new clients as a result, you can take me to dinner as a thank you.”
“It’s a date.” Color rushed to Adam’s cheeks. “I didn’t mean date.”
“Relax. I know it’s just dinner.” She tore a piece of paper from her checkbook. “If that’s not right, just let me know.”
He glanced at it and frowned. “You overpaid me by ten percent.”
Her eyes were bright. “It’s a tip for helping me to fulfill a dream.”
“You’re too much, Dr. Melinda Grayson Phillips.”
She wagged a finger at him. “Don’t use my full name. You promised.”
He gave a solemn salute. “Won’t happen again, ma’am.”
With a laugh Melinda steered him toward a barstool. “And you’re staying for dinner and I won’t take no for an answer.”