Epilogue
“This is nice.”
The comment was an understatement, Julia thought, though she was too content to say anything about it, instead relishing the feel of the hot sun beating down on her as she lay on her towel, the sounds and smells of the lake in summer washing over her.
She exhaled, long and drawn out, releasing the breath she’d been holding.
Behind her, she could hear the rumble of men’s voices, low laughter as her dad and Ethan’s dad clinked beer bottles together.
The families had reunited again at Donwell Cottage for the week, where the scent of woodsmoke mingled with fresh baking and the days slipped by in golden slants of sunlight, soft laughter, and the quiet comfort of being somewhere as familiar as home.
Maggie and Katy were set to join them as well in a couple of hours, and Julia had already prepared Victorian Elegance for their stay.
It was the perfect summer day, with the barbecue going and the men laughing. Ethan’s mom, a cold lemonade in hand, called out over their heads to Norman, who was fishing on a small rowboat close by, asking him what he wanted on his hot dog.
Julia closed her eyes and felt the contentment of it all wash over her, the unique feeling that came from being in a comforting and familiar place with people you love.
Maybe it was an understatement, but yeah. It was nice.
She made a noise to indicate her agreement and felt lips and a scratchy five-o’clock shadow place a kiss over her rib cage.
“Thinking about the guests next week?” Ethan asked, his voice a low rumble as he sat beside her on his own towel, arms propped up behind him.
“No,” she said, and she really wasn’t, despite the fact that it was going to be another full week of guests at Donwell.
Norman had all the outdoor things under control (when he wasn’t enjoying a fishing reprieve), and she knew Maggie would take care of everything else.
Since Christmas, she had also hired two new employees, who had helped with the running and management of the place, one of whom was a social media manager.
Between her new hire’s tech savvy and the beautiful pictures Ethan contributed for their website and Instagram accounts, business was booming.
They were booked up until Christmas now and preparing to open for next year’s bookings upon her arrival back from her vacation.
She also hadn’t had a panic attack since that night with Ethan, all those months ago.
Despite years of holding them at bay, she could now look back and recognize the signs—the tightness in her chest as a teenager, the sudden waves of dizziness or dread that came out of nowhere.
Back then, she hadn’t known to call them panic attacks.
They were just moments she had pushed through, chalked up to stress or hormones or being overly sensitive.
She could now recognize that it was okay to finally name what she’d once brushed aside, to even acknowledge that it ran in the family, quiet and unspoken, passed down like eye color or stubbornness, tucked into the silences between generations.
To understand that those invisible spirals had a shape, a cause, and a way through.
The acknowledgment was what helped to overcome them the most. Of course, the feelings still came now and then, but the right therapist and a good prescription helped to keep the worst of it at bay.
That was another thing she was grateful for.
Her face must have shown him something about her inner thoughts, because Ethan pressed gently.
“What are you thinking about, then?” His voice held the low timbre of satisfaction that she felt in her own body.
She had to pause at his question, to really consider it. What was she thinking about?
“I guess I’m thinking about Maggie and Katy,” she said finally, eyes still closed, still soaking in the sun.
“Maggie and Katy?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged, opening an eye to peer at him. “I think an engagement is going to be announced soon.”
“Already?” he asked incredulously, his sunglasses falling down his nose as he looked at her.
“When you know, you know,” she responded pragmatically, closing her eyes again.
“Is that so?” His voice was low, lazy, a hint of heat behind the words.
She bit her lip to hide her smirk. “So I’ve been told.”
“Interesting.”
They were both quiet for a beat.
“I wonder what the Katoah truthers are going to say about that,” he mused after a prolonged silence.
Julia burst out laughing. “Katoah? Is that real? That doesn’t even work.” She giggled. “Katy and Noah. I thought we’d said Noaty? Katoah?” She shook her head. “Either way, it sucks. That should’ve been the biggest indicator that the relationship was doomed from the start.”
“The lack of a reasonable portmanteau?”
“Exactly.”
“What would ours be?” Ethan pretended to consider it. “Ethulie? Julian?”
“Terrible.” She sat up, looked at him through her sunglasses. “Looks like we’re doomed, too.”
“Darn.” He affected disappointment. “And here I was, finally starting to like you.”
“Such a shame,” she said breezily before standing up and stretching. “I’m going into the water. It’s hot as hell.”
“Sure is,” he said, looking her up and down appreciatively.
She shook her head with a laugh and made her way to the edge of the dock. Just before she got in, she turned to look at him. “Are you with me?”
He regarded her thoughtfully, looking at her again, this time with a deliberation that made her curious but not uncomfortable.
Something in his gentle gaze, even behind his glasses, his relaxed demeanor, the soft smile that told her everything she needed to know about how he felt.
His love washed over her, as warm and comforting and familiar as the sun on this particular lake, this particular dock.
Then he stood up and walked over to her, wrapping her in his arms and kissing the top of her head as he responded.
“Always.”