Chapter Five #2
And really, liked was far too bland a word for the emotions Finn Monahan had stirred in her over the years. She had loved him wildly, longed for him desperately.
For a while, she’d believed she hated him…but that was just self-protection. She’d needed to get over him and telling herself she hated him had helped her to move on.
And right now…
Right now, she wanted him. So much. Wanted the magic of his kisses, the sweetness of a love affair…just for a little while. Just a last, wild fling before she settled down to a good life with her baby, to a family of two.
However…
She bit her lip and shook her head at her face in the mirror. It wasn’t a good idea.
Not tonight, anyway.
This was happening too fast and she needed to put the brakes on, give herself a week—or a few more days, at least—before jumping into a love affair, however brief and frivolous.
Tonight, she needed not to get carried away in the excitement of the moment.
She needed to give herself enough time to be sure.
Of what? the voice inside her asked.
There was nothing to be sure of. It was a fling—short and sweet and just for fun.
In the mirror, her eyebrows were all scrunched together and she was chewing her bottom lip.
Because clearly, she wasn’t ready. “Not tonight,” she whispered, drawing her shoulders back, giving her reflection a firm nod. “Not tonight.” She pulled open the door and headed through the giant kitchen and the back hallway to the deck.
When she went out the back door, Finn stood at the top of the steps leading down to the backyard that seemed to go on forever, a sea of waving grasses interrupted by the beautiful rustic fences and the big red barn. The whole, wide-open expanse of prairie looked magical in the fading light.
Kenzie paused by the table. He’d cleared it while she was in the house.
That made her heart ache a little, made her think of the boy who never did housework, the boy who left his clothes on the floor when he was through with them.
The boy whose father had never struck him but instead had hurt him with harsh words and unreasonable expectations.
He turned and gave her that big, open smile of his. “There you are.”
She held out her hand to him. In three long strides, he reached her side. When his fingers closed over hers, all her nerves and anxiety just faded away.
She wanted him. She saw in his sky-blue eyes that he felt the same.
No, it wasn’t forever. And that was just great. Forever, after all, had not been kind to her.
He leaned in. She melted against him. Their lips met.
Sheer heaven, she thought—to be with him now, on this warm, late-summer evening as the sky slowly darkened and the full moon rose over the faraway mountains.
When he lifted his head, she sighed and smiled lazily up at him. “Please take me to bed, Finn.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “Done.”
* * *
His room was right there on the main floor, down a hallway off the great room. It was all in browns and grays with touches of red in the comforter and pillows.
“This is nice,” she said, her voice breathless, her body eager to be there with him, held close in his arms.
He dropped a trail of kisses down the side of her neck, leaving heat and longing in his wake. “I like where I sleep to be comfortable.”
“I get that.”
Lifting his head to look in her eyes again, he added, “So this is the only room I fixed up myself. The bed and night tables are of reclaimed barn wood—red oak.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks.” He gave her a crooked grin. “Why are we talking about the furniture? There are so many more interesting things to get into right now.”
“Such as?”
“You.” He kissed the word onto her waiting lips. “Now, come here…” Her feet left the floor as he scooped her up into his arms and headed for the bed. Carefully, he set her down on the edge of the mattress. Then he sank to his knees.
“You are so eager,” she observed as he pulled off one of her boots and then the other.
“Eager doesn’t begin to cover it.” He whipped off her socks. Then, sweeping upright again, he pulled her to her feet and went to work on the long line of abalone shell buttons down the front of her flowy boho dress.
“Finn…”
“Shh. I’m busy.”
“That really isn’t necessary.”
Frowning, he met her eyes. “Huh?”
“Undoing all these buttons. Watch.” She sidestepped, grabbed the filmy skirt of her dress and whipped it up and over her head. “Done.” She tossed the dress to the nearest chair and stood before him in her bra and panties.
He looked her up and down. “You are so beautiful.”
She rested a hand on her stomach. “If you’re into pregnant ladies.”
His laugh was a low rumble. “I’m into you.” He reached for her. She happily melted into his arms again. They stood by the bed sharing a kiss that went on and on.
Eventually, he lifted his head. “I have way too many clothes on.”
“True.”
Dropping to the side of the bed, he yanked off one boot and then the other, removed his socks and rose to his feet again. After that, it took him no time at all to get everything off but his boxer briefs.
She allowed herself a long, slow look from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.
He was bigger, broader than she remembered, a grown man in every way, his thick chest dusted with dark hair, his belly lean and hard.
She let her gaze trail downward over the bulge in his briefs and lower.
Her eyes lingered on his right knee and the faint scarring there from more than one surgery.
She’d seen the original injury happen, watched in horror as he went down on ESPN for the whole world to see. He’d injured his left knee, an ACL tear that had healed—only to tear again the following season.
A low chuckle rumbled in his broad chest. “Yep. That first injury was the beginning of the end of my NFL career.”
“I remember,” she said softly.
“I played for six more years. But never at the same level as before. After the fourth time I was traded, I decided I was ready to move on, to try something else.”
She met his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I know how much you loved the game.”
“I still love the game,” he said. “And I’m thinking the Titans are going to go far.” They shared a slow smile. And then, he turned to the bed again and pulled back the covers. “Come here, Kenzie Osborne…” He held out his hand. “Prettiest girl at Tenacity High…”
She went into those big arms eagerly. All her doubts and hesitations forgotten, she happily lost herself in another endless, perfect kiss.