Chapter Six
Jesse stood in his Houston home four days later, staring at Carly’s phone number.
He’d pulled up the number at least a dozen times since she’d given it to him.
He’d even thought of messaging her, just to say hey, but everything he’d come up with to send her sounded dumb.
He hadn’t dated anyone in so long. He wasn’t sure what was acceptable or not.
Did he tell her that he couldn’t stop thinking about her? Doubtful. He’d come across as a stalker.
He thought about Hey, it’s Jesse. Let me give you a night on the town. But Tenacity wasn’t that big of a town, and did it come across as too cocky? He didn’t want to blow this.
“God, you are bad at this,” he muttered.
Sighing, he did the one thing he really knew he shouldn’t. He pulled up the group chat he had with his siblings and started typing.
How soon should you follow up with someone these days after you ask them on a date?
He stared at it, debating if he should send it or not, before finally saying, “To hell with it,” and then hit Send. He watched as multiple dots started appearing indicating several people were typing.
Jonathan: You dating again, bro? Congrats!
Amanda: I’m so happy for you, Jess!
Benjamin: Is she hot?
Amanda: It doesn’t matter if she’s hot or not. Is she a good person?
Benjamin: *eye-roll emoji*
Grayson: You STILL haven’t followed up with Carly?
Amanda: Have you met her, Gray? What’s she like?
Jonathan: How long’s it been?
Grayson: Four days! And yes, she’s cool. She brought Jesse a pie.
Benjamin: Dude! Four days?
Jesse: Thanks for that, Gray.
Grayson: Hey, little bro, you came to us.
Jesse: Reminder that I’m the second oldest here.
Jonathan: Then act it, man.
Amanda: I don’t get the pie reference, but if you’re interested, call the woman now.
Benjamin: Hopefully she still remembers you.
Amanda: Stop scaring him. Jess, it’s great you’re starting to date again. It’s time.
Jonathan: Yeah, we’re happy for you, bro.
Benjamin: But four days???
Amanda: Okay, so that’s not ideal.
Jesse felt a little queasy. Had he messed this up already? He was in the process of asking that when their youngest sister finally entered the chat.
Evie: Man up or shut up. Some of us are trying to sleep!!!
Jesse scowled as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. His family was right. Jesse felt like a heel because he’d asked Carly out and then hadn’t found the time to speak with her. He’d had to drive down to his former home and empty the rest of it out.
He’d put off the task for as long as he could.
He hadn’t wanted to leave Oscar, but he also hadn’t wanted to take him out of school.
He knew it was best for Oscar to keep him in his routine.
But he hadn’t left his son this long in his entire life.
It had taken Grayson and JenniLynn a full two days to convince him that they’d guard him with their lives while Jesse was gone, to reassure him that he could make this trip.
He also found that now that they’d sold the house and the new owners took over the next week, he wasn’t quite as ready as he’d thought he was to let it go—along with the memories that came with it.
When he was emptying the hallway closet a few minutes ago, he’d pulled down a blanket that MaryBeth used to cover herself with on cold winter nights. He’d held it to his nose breathing in deep, trying to catch a scent of her perfume. Instead, he inhaled dust and sneezed.
He looked at the box of donations where the blanket now sat on top.
He thought they’d have forever together, and now he was packing away the rest of their items, destined for the resale store and charity.
He leaned down and pushed the blanket aside so he could take one more look at their lives together.
There was her favorite mug that she’d bought on their honeymoon in Hawaii.
The paint had faded off of it even while she was alive, erasing two of the islands.
Some of her recipe books, yellowed with age, took up space in the bottom of the box.
She used to collect them, and Jesse was almost positive that she never used a few of them.
He remembered her excitement at finding a candy cane cake that she’d wanted to try.
I’m going to make this for Christmas this year, she’d said. Doesn’t it look amazing?
Yes, love. It’ll be great.
She passed away before she had a chance to make it.
Even though it had been almost ten years, there were times he missed her so much he ached. It wasn’t even about Oscar losing his mom—though that also killed him. MaryBeth had been born to be a mother. She’d always known how to reach their son, no matter what mood he was in.
No. Jesse missed the little things—the way she used to hum in the shower when she’d get ready for the day.
How she used to make the best butterscotch cookies he’d ever had in his life.
He missed cuddling with her on the couch, watching gameshows in the room they’d painted together in soft yellow.
He’d never gotten used to being alone after she’d passed.
Maybe just as she had been made to be a mother, he was never made to be alone.
And maybe his sister was right. It was time to start dating someone again.
Correction. He didn’t want to date someone. He wanted to date Carly.
He’d made a damned fool of himself in front of her the other day, and she’d still smiled at him like he was someone worthy of her time. She had to have men falling all over themselves for the chance to have her smile at them like that. But she still said yes to a date with him.
Could he really do this? Could he date someone again? Especially someone who could be killed performing a job that she still did for a living?
He brushed the sweat off his forehead before he walked out on the front porch.
He wanted to call Carly and he wanted to do it before he lost his nerve, but he couldn’t do it inside MaryBeth’s house.
It wasn’t like the ghost of her lingered and she’d curse him if she overheard him asking someone else out.
She was at peace, and he’d taken comfort in that over the years.
But…he still couldn’t ask another woman out in her house.
Before Jesse could talk himself out of it, he hit Dial on his phone.
He walked down to the patch of grass in the front yard.
He started pacing to let out some nervous energy as he listened to the phone ring.
What if it went to voicemail? Should he leave her a message or send her a text?
Maybe he’d message Amanda directly for more advice.
He didn’t need to be Benjamin’s entertainment for the day.
Relief rushed through him when Carly finally answered. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Jesse. Jesse Abernathy. From the football game…and the pie.” He quietly smacked himself in the forehead. Why had he mentioned the pie? She’d brought it over as an unnecessary apology. He didn’t need to unintentionally guilt trip her. Would he always be a bumbling fool around this woman?
Carly let out a soft laugh, the sound turning him into liquid.
“Hey, Jesse.” Her voice was light and airy.
He wished he could record her speaking because just the tone of her voice relaxed him in ways he couldn’t explain.
She paused for a second before she said, “I was wondering if I’d hear from you.
You ran off pretty quickly the other day. ”
Jesse closed his eyes briefly, remembering how she’d given him her number and he’d hurried away immediately afterward so he could get to Oscar. Had she thought that the way he’d hurried away was a sign he wasn’t interested?
“I’m sorry about that. My son—he has autism, and sometimes he can get overstimulated. I saw the signs, and I wanted to get to him before things turned ugly. I understand that that can be a lot. If you want me to lose your number, I get it.”
He hadn’t dated since MaryBeth died. That hadn’t meant he’d been living the life of a celibate either.
He’d had some pleasant enough encounters over the years, and there was one woman he’d had a standing arrangement with for a few months.
She’d been the mother of one of Oscar’s classmates and a recent divorcee.
They’d met at a parent-teacher conference, both waiting in line to speak with their children’s teacher.
They’d exchanged numbers that night, and she’d texted him the next day, explaining that she wasn’t ready for a relationship but she had needs.
He certainly hadn’t been ready for a relationship either, his grief only a few years old at that time.
They would meet up whenever her ex had their child during the weekend.
The relationship had been mutually beneficial, and Jesse enjoyed it for what it was.
He hadn’t developed feelings for the woman.
But unfortunately, she had. They’d been in bed together one night, seeking pleasure in one another, when his phone rang.
The only person who would have called him at that time was Oscar’s babysitter, and he’d pulled away to answer the phone.
When he’d heard that Oscar was having a bad night, he said he’d be right there.
The woman hadn’t been happy. She’d told him the babysitter could handle it, but he’d left anyway.
She messaged him the next morning and said that she loved him but she needed to come first. He told her Oscar would always be his priority, and she’d responded by telling him to lose her number.
“Why would I not want to go out with you because your son has autism?” Carly responded after a brief pause.
Jesse winced. It was barely there, but he could pick out that he had either hurt or offended her.
He began to pace around the yard. “Sorry…it’s just…it wouldn’t be the first time. I’ve found that…some people don’t want to be in my life when they hear my son is on the spectrum.”
“Oh, I see.” Carly’s voice was tentative. “I’m not that kind of person.”
Jesse grimaced. He was blowing this. “I know. I tend to be a little guarded, especially when it comes to Oscar. I’m sorry.”
“I get it,” she said after a moment. “Trust is a hard thing to earn, especially when so many people have broken it before.” He frowned at that, wondering who broke hers to make her sound so disillusioned.
But before he could ask about it, she continued, “I’m still good with going out, if you’d like. ”
His body loosened at that, the tension he was carrying leaving him. “Yeah, absolutely. That’s great. How about this Saturday? Can I pick you up and take you to dinner?”
“I’d like that.”
He fist-bumped the air. “That’s awesome. Okay. Good. I—I’ll see you then. Six o’clock.”
“Bye, Jesse,” she replied, sounding slightly amused. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”
He grinned. “See you on Saturday, Carly.”
They disconnected the call, and Jesse looked back at the house, taking in the two-story brick colonial that had been his home for so long.
Saying goodbye to this house was finally closing a significant chapter in his life.
He’d taught Oscar how to ride his bike on the sidewalk.
His son had taken his first steps in the living room.
They’d marked his growth on the inside of the hallway door.
And then there were the memories of MaryBeth…
Can you believe it? MaryBeth said as he looked at the roof that needed to be replaced, the driveway that needed to be re-cemented.
A good starter home? I’m never going to leave.
She turned to him, her long brown hair flying around her shoulders as she looked at him with those incredible green eyes—Oscar’s eyes.
We’re going to be so happy here! Now carry me up the threshold, husband of mine, and let’s go christen every room in the house.
He’d laughed, pushing away the unsettled feeling he’d gotten when she mentioned it being their forever home. He hadn’t realized at the time how many times they’d fight over this very house—with Jesse wanting to move out to the country and MaryBeth being adamant that they stay right where they were.
He’d mourned her, holding on to his grief like a shield, but it hadn’t done him or his son any good.
He’d closed himself off from others, and Oscar had copied him, doing the same thing.
It was why he’d moved them to Tenacity. They both needed a fresh start.
He hadn’t planned on dating anyone, but he wasn’t about to ruin this chance with Carly now that he had one.
He took a deep breath and stepped back into the house, his emotions swirling inside him.
He felt sadness at having to let this connection to MaryBeth go, but he also felt hope for the first time in ten years…
thanks to Carly. He went back into the hallway to pick up the box he’d been filling.
He carried it out to his truck before going back into the house to look around one more time to make sure he got everything.
He stopped when he entered the kitchen. The appliances were outdated and the cupboards needed an upgrade.
He wouldn’t be surprised if it was the first room the new homeowners ripped apart and renovated.
Quite frankly, Jesse never really had time for this part of the house.
He was a crap cook on a good day. But that wasn’t the only reason he’d avoided it.
This was the room where he’d found MaryBeth that fateful day.
His memories played the horrific sound of Oscar crying hysterically as the little boy paced the floor next to his unconscious mother.
Jesse could almost still feel the clamminess of MaryBeth’s skin when he’d hurriedly kneeled by her side and clutched her hand to his chest, screaming—pleading—with her to stay with them while the approaching ambulance wailed somewhere in the distance.
The aneurysm had been as mercilessly swift as it had been fatal.
Jesse blinked away the tears that tried to escape his eyes now. He pushed the moment out of his head, only to find himself staring at the spot on the faded yellow linoleum floor where he’d found his wife.
His hand held his phone in a grip so hard it ached. It suddenly felt like a lifeline. A connection to a second chance at happiness if he only reached for it. And maybe that was what this whole thing with Carly was. A second chance.
He squatted down next to the spot. He lifted his fingers to his mouth and kissed them before pressing them down to the floor.
Jesse whispered, “Goodbye, MaryBeth.”
He stood up and exited the house, shutting the door gently behind him.