Chapter Eleven
Carly was in a foul mood the next day.
She liked Jesse. A lot. More than she should considering they’d only gone out a couple of times.
But she really didn’t understand him. One minute he looked like he felt the same way she did.
The next, he was leaving like he couldn’t get away from her fast enough.
She understood that Oscar was his number one priority.
But…he hadn’t even tried to kiss her. Was he old-fashioned?
Or was he just not that interested in her?
She turned down the dirt driveway of Split Valley Ranch, finally pulling to a stop in front of her sister’s house.
She wasn’t surprised to see Amy sitting on the front porch swing in a thick sweater.
Josephine slept on her lap under a thick blanket.
As she got out of the car, Carly’s mind replayed the previous night, the feel of being in Jesse’s arms, the way she’d felt so comfortable talking about her past with him.
She loved his quiet comfort. Carly appreciated that when she’d told him about the uglier sides of her childhood, he hadn’t looked at her with sympathy—she wouldn’t have been able to tolerate that—but he’d given her the empathy she needed.
And then…she was left on her porch, watching him leave without so much as a hug or pat on the shoulder.
“Hey,” Carly muttered as she climbed the steps and sat next to her sister. She shivered. She should have worn a thick coat, despite it being an unusually warm morning for late September. She made grabby hands toward Josephine, causing the porch swing to creak.
Amy snorted before handing the baby over. Josephine made a quiet mew of discontent at being moved before falling back asleep. Carly took in the perfection of her little face.
“Who’s your favorite aunt?” Carly murmured as she snuggled the baby closer, breathing in her fresh baby-powder scent.
“I think Faith is,” Amy joked.
“Hearsay,” Carly grumbled. She kissed Josephine lightly on the head as not to disturb her. “Tori, Faith, and Elizabeth can suck it. The Best Aunt Award goes to me. I live the closest, therefore I will have more opportunities to spoil her.”
“Sure, Carly,” Amy replied indulgently. They rocked in the swing for several minutes before Amy said, “So you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Who says anything is wrong?” Carly said, not meeting her sister’s eyes.
“Because it’s seven o’clock in the morning, and you are notorious for not being an early riser. And you looked upset when you first got out of your car. So spill.”
Carly sighed. She forgot how well her family knew her.
Her parents had the philosophy sharing is caring.
They grew up speaking their minds and spewing their feelings.
It was one of the reasons it took Carly awhile to get used to the Hawkins way of life.
She’d always been so cautious around the people in her circle. It was a hard habit to break.
“It’s Jesse,” she finally said.
“Did you find out he was a bad kisser?” Amy asked, her tone light.
“I still wouldn’t know,” Carly mumbled.
“What! You haven’t kissed him yet? Haven’t you gone out a couple of times now?”
“He’s probably just trying to be a gentleman,” Carly halfheartedly defended.
“This isn’t the 1800s, and you’re both consenting adults. It’s weird.”
“It’s not weird,” Carly denied. “He’s being considerate—that’s all.”
“Yeah, it is.” Amy looked thoughtful for a minute before she carefully said, “Look, I know he has a son and everything, but…maybe he’s still hung up on his former wife.”
Carly huffed. “Why would he ask me out if he was?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s a case of too much emotional damage.”
Carly stared at the sleeping baby in her arms, taking comfort in the weight of her.
“I don’t know,” she replied before admitting her deepest worry. “What if he’s just not into me?”
“Then break it off and move on. There are plenty of handsome guys in town we can set you up with.”
“I don’t want anyone else,” Carly said. “Jesse is funny and caring, and… I can honestly see myself settling down with him. He’s different from all the men I’ve met who were either more obsessed with their careers than I am or who were only interested in hooking up with a famous Hawkins Sister.
Not to mention he’s a dedicated father. But… ”
When she didn’t continue, Amy asked “But what?”
Carly adjusted Josephine, not willing to look at her sister as she confessed, “Like you said, what if he’s still hung up on his wife?” Tears filled her eyes for a second, but she quickly blinked them away. “I don’t know how to compete with a ghost.”
“A ghost?” Amy asked.
Carly’s heart ached a little as she remembered Jesse’s brief reference. “I didn’t ask for details, but Jesse mentioned his late wife. I feel so bad that he and Oscar had to go through that type of loss.”
Amy gazed at her husband in the distance.
“You know, Josh and I didn’t always have it smooth sailing.
You have to work at a relationship and establish strong communication with one another.
Maybe you need to ask for more details about his life before he moved to Tenacity.
Especially how long ago it was that his wife died. I mean—Car—if she died recently…”
Carly gave a watery sigh. “I know. But when am I supposed to bring it up? We have our dates—which doesn’t seem the appropriate time to ask about his dead wife.”
Amy winced at that. She then said cautiously, “Maybe you should consider dating other guys.” When Carly’s face turned stubborn, Amy rushed, “I love you, but you do have a tendency to want to see the best in men that aren’t the greatest for you. Look at your childhood crush on Paul Rodriguez.”
Carly gave her a disbelieving look. “You’re seriously not bringing up a boy band member that I had a crush on when I was ten.”
“I’m just saying you had five boys to choose from in that group, and you became obsessed with the one who was widely known for being a player.”
“He was gorgeous—still is, come to think of it! Have you watched his show, First Comes Marriage?”
Amy rolled her eyes in exasperation. “No, I don’t have time for silly reality TV shows.”
“First of all, how dare you,” Carly joked.
She didn’t really care for that type of entertainment either, but she’d decided to check the show out one time while she was bored on the road because she’d heard Paul hosted it.
She’d found herself becoming addicted to it.
“If we’re going to talk about this subject again, let’s rehash the fact that I’m still hurt you never took me to see Holiday Boys when I was a kid, despite the fact that you could have been an awesome older sister and driven me to any of their concerts! ”
“I was not subjecting my ears to a bunch of screaming preteens, thank you very much.” The mirth in Amy’s eyes slowly drained though as she added, “Look what happened with Fletch.”
Carly scowled. “Fletch was a mistake.”
“But you kept turning a blind eye to him, even when he was obviously not the one for you.”
“Trust me, my eyes were wide open when it came to that man,” Carly grumbled.
Josephine started to squirm before she let out a noise that indicated she needed a new diaper. Being the amazing aunt that she was, Carly handed the baby back to her sister. Amy rolled her eyes but took her daughter and stood up.
“I’m just saying,” Amy continued, “don’t build the guy up too much in your head.
Like you said, you don’t know where his mind is at.
Is he ready for a relationship, or is he still hung up on his wife to the point where he’s not ready to see someone else?
You don’t want to end up a rebound, even if she passed years ago.
Maybe the first question you need to ask him isn’t about his feelings for her but if he’s mentally ready for you. ”
Josephine let out a whine, and Amy kissed her head. “All right, my darling, let’s get you changed.”
Amy left Carly with nothing but thoughts she didn’t want to think. She swallowed hard, knowing her sister was right. She had to guard her heart from Jesse because the last thing she needed was to fall head over heels in love with the man, only for him not to return her feelings.
She stared off in the distance where she could see Amy’s husband, Josh, riding his horse as he rounded up some cattle.
Carly took a breath and smelled fall leaves and hay.
A breeze stirred the chimes hanging from the eaves, and for just a second, she relaxed.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out to read the message.
And just like that, her relaxation quickly erased.
Her mouth twisted unhappily as she read another message from Dex.
The sponsors came back to me with another offer. Another $50,000!!! What are you waiting for?
Amy came back without the baby. “Your favorite niece decided she wanted a nap in the comfort of her own crib.” She paused when she saw Carly staring vacantly at her phone. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Carly swallowed before showing her sister the message.
Amy read it and whistled. “You still haven’t gotten back to him on that, huh?”
“I want to,” Carly told her. “But every time I get my phone out to respond, my mind goes blank. I don’t know how to answer. My head is screaming at me to stop being a fool and to take the offer. I know, financially, it’d be worth it.”
“Well, what does your heart say?” Amy asked.
“My heart?” Carly said it like she’d never heard of the organ. She reached up her hand and pressed it against her chest where it was pounding painfully. “I… It’s telling me to stay, to rest. I want to see what else life has to offer, and the idea of going back on the road again makes me feel sick.”
“Here, give me your phone,” Amy ordered. When Carly gave it to her with a confused look, her sister began typing rapidly. It made a swooshing noise, letting Carly know that Amy sent a message.
“What… Who did you just text?” she asked.
“Dex. I told him to stop pressuring you and if he didn’t, he’d have me to deal with.”
Carly cracked a smile for the first time since last night when she’d danced in Jesse’s arms. Long ago, Dex had represented Amy as well. He’d never gotten away with bossing her sister around.
“Thanks,” Carly said. She felt exhausted and regretted getting up so early.
Amy sat back down next to her and nudged her with her elbow. “That’s what big sisters are for.”
* * *
Later that day as she was leaving the barn after a nice long ride on Nieve, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.
She pulled it out of her jacket and looked at the text.
Jesse had sent her a picture of two constellations.
Her brow furrowed for second, and then a flutter of warmth bloomed inside her.
Perseus and Andromeda, whose love story was forever remembered in the night sky.
Three dots appeared before another text from Jesse popped up.
These two are my favorite.
Did he know what they meant? He had to. Carly smiled, her earlier trepidation easing.
Despite Amy’s advice, Carly’s head was spinning over this man.
She responded by typing, I like your choice. Who doesn’t love a man who’d slay a dragon for the woman he loves?
Three more dots appeared before disappearing.
This happened a couple more times. Carly wondered what Jesse was writing.
Or, rather, rewriting. She reread what she wrote and groaned.
What if he took it as her wanting him to slay some fictional dragon for her?
That wasn’t what she had meant at all. She could slay her own dragons, thank you very much.
Her fingers hovered on the keys, trying to think of what to say to cover her mistake.
He responded before she could think of anything.
What are you doing Friday evening?
Carly bit her lip. What had Amy told her earlier? Something about not setting expectations too high when his headspace might not be in the same place as hers?
But that was before he sent her a picture of one of the greatest love stories in Greek mythology.
Nothing important.
Can I take you out again?
Carly didn’t hesitate this time: Absolutely.