Chapter 25
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in? I can call Marti and we can have a girls’ night.” Laney leaned out the window as she dropped Addison off.
After leaving Nash’s, Addison had walked the mile to Laney’s. With Lu’s carrier in one hand and her clothes in the other, pain urged her to quit. To turn around and go back, but the thought of something happening to Davey if she stayed pushed her to keep going.
When the door opened, she fell into her friend’s arms. Laney hugged her, and the whole messy story spilled from Addison’s lips.
Once the words were out, she couldn’t stay.
Her best friend had said the right things, supported and comforted her, but something in Addison railed back at the love.
A part of her, deep inside, wanted her friend to call her crazy, tell her she should run back to Nash, the one man who was perfect for her.
But she wasn’t perfect for him. Six months ago, if anyone had asked her about her life, she’d have said it was normal. Boring even. But now…? She’d had two attacks in as many weeks. How could she bring that into Nash’s perfect, peaceful life?
“Thanks, but I’m good. I think I want to go for a run.” Clear her head, or at least drain her body so she would sleep tonight and not dream of Nash.
“What! You should be resting. You have a concussion,” Laney scolded.
Damn Nash for telling them about her injuries.
Addison shook her head. A dull ache knocked at her temple. “No. You’re right. I’ll rest.”
She needed to move. A couple of bruises wouldn’t stop her. She leaned back into the car and wrapped her arms around her friend. She held on for a moment longer, then broke the contact before the tears misting her eyes rolled over her lashes.
“I’ll call you tomorrow. We can do a girls’ night then.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Addison waved goodbye as she unlocked her door. She’d been inside the house exactly two minutes when her phone rang. She squeezed her eyes shut. Don’t be Nash. He’d called once and texted three times in the last hour.
She opened her eyes and checked the screen. Marti.
Dang, Laney must have called her before Addison had unlocked the door.
Addison typed out a quick reply to her friend, letting her know they would get together tomorrow. By tomorrow night, she’d be sick of her alone time and need her girls, but tonight, she needed solitude. And she knew just the place to go.
After settling Lu in, she changed, popped a pain pill, and locked the door behind her.
The first block, her abrasions on her wrists and ankles stung as she started to sweat. She pushed the pain from her mind. Another block, her head throbbed, but she kept going. She wasn’t a quitter.
Except on Nash.
“It’s for the best.” She pushed on, ignoring the queasy feeling sloshing in her stomach.
Two more blocks—tires squealed. Addison glanced over her shoulder. It’s nothing. She picked up speed. Her arms ached as she rounded the corner. Maybe Laney was right about her not exercising.
She slowed to a brisk walk. By the time she reached the tall brick structure in the center of town, Addison was holding her side and hobbling about as fast as old man Jones. The guy was one hundred if he was a day.
The bell in the church’s steeple sat silent, and the parking lot was empty. Addison should keep going, but with each step, her body protested more.
Maybe just a short break. Addison inhaled deeply as she pulled open the large wooden door.
The lights were dim as she moved through the entry to the gathering space. The wooden pews glistened in the late afternoon sun. She ran a hand over the smooth surface as she sat on the bench.
Focusing on the cross at the front of the room, the tension she’d held since her abduction melted.
She should pray, but no words came to mind. Not even the dinner prayer that her mom insisted they say at every meal.
Closing her eyes, she let the last of her tension go. It was like the floodgates opened, and words whirled around her brain. Questions. Memories. Regrets. The last one was the biggest. Nash. How could she regret him? Did she?
Not the man himself, but the fact that she shouldn’t have gotten involved with him.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Addison turned at the voice. Betty.
“No, you didn’t say it out loud, but everything about you sitting there screams regret.”
Tears stung her eyes. “I’m not right for him.”
The older woman lowered herself onto the pew. “Did he tell you that?”
Addison shook her head. “He didn’t have to.”
Betty rubbed a glittery nail across her chin. “Last I checked, Nash Steele was a grown man making his own decisions for a while now. So, what makes you think you know what’s best for him?”
Addison stayed quiet.
“Unless, he’s not right for you?”
A snort slipped from Addison’s lips. “You’ve met him. He’s perfect.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
The last thing she wanted was to tell Betty, the town gossip, about her problems.
“Is it about your kidnapping?”
“Of course, you know about that.”
“Girl, the whole town knew the minute you went missing. Nash was on a tear to find you.”
Addison tipped her head back. A small smile tugged at her lips.
“Maybe it’s about the wife of your last lover?”
Addison jerked up. “I didn’t sleep with him.”
“Don’t be lyin’ in church now.”
With her right hand, she made an X over her heart. “Swear.”
Betty bobbed her head. “Okay. So what’s the problem? Don’t you like his boy?”
“Davey’s wonderful.”
“You aren’t making a lick of sense, you know that?”
The older woman wasn’t wrong. Addison knew it and dropped her chin to her chest. “I can’t put them in danger.”
“You got more stalkers you ain’t telling us about?”
“Not that I know of. But I didn’t know about these two.”
Betty patted Addison’s knee. “Let me tell you about my Earl. He’s the sweetest man, but he did some stupid stuff in his youth.
And I mean stupid. I think a box of rocks are smarter than my Earl most days.
But anyway, he didn’t want to marry me because he spent some time in prison.
I didn’t care about that. I knew he had found the Lord and was in a good twelve-step program. So finally, I talked him into it.”
Addison wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but she listened.
“We’ve been married forty years next month.
Sure, we had some rocky times. He fell off the wagon a time or two.
A couple of old associates of his from his incarceration days popped up, but you know what, we made it through.
From what I know of Nash Steele, he wouldn’t let anything get between you and him. So, why are you?”
Betty left her to think. Ten minutes later, Addison realized the woman had a point, but could she live with herself if something happened to Nash or Davey because of her?
Sitting in the pew, Addison felt the presence of someone at her side a moment before her mother sat beside her.
Tears welled in her throat, and the words wouldn’t pass her lips, all resolve flowing away.
She leaned into her mother’s embrace, taking in the scent that was uniquely her mom, and tears flowed over her lashes.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. Let it out.”
Addison lost track of how long she sat there cradled in her mom’s arms, crying till her eyes were void of any more moisture before she sat up, wiped her face on the edge of her collar, and asked, “Mom? What are you doing here?”
“Betty called me.”
The piano melody from Here I Am, Lord flowed from the choir loft. Betty. Addison shook her head. She should’ve known. The woman was everywhere. Saw everything, heard everything, and shared everything.
“I can ask Betty to leave if you want a little alone time or if you want to talk in private.”
“It doesn’t matter. At this point, most of town probably knows I walked out on Nash.” They were likely all whispering about the dumbest thing she’d ever done.
Her mom sat quietly, no judgement on her face. Her mother’s gentle caress up and down her back soothed Addison. “I love him, Mom, but I’m not good for him.”
Julie nodded, but the sadness in her eyes told a different story. She didn’t agree with her daughter.
“He has Davey to think about. And look what’s happened in the last couple of weeks. I can’t put him through that. I can’t put Davey through that.”
“And you can’t put yourself through that.” As always, her mom hit the nail on the head.
“Yes, that’s part of it,” Addison admitted. “Maybe I want too much. Maybe what I want isn’t what I deserve.”
“Oh, baby girl, you deserve it all. Don’t ever feel that you don’t.”
Fresh tears pushed against Addison’s eyelids. When did she turn into a crier?
Her mom sighed. “Remember the summer I started dating Mitch?”
“Yeah, I was sixteen. That’s the year I won Miss Gray Duck Grove.”
“That’s also the summer that I let you go on the vacation with the Hunts for two weeks.”
“I remember. We went to their cousin’s cabin.”
“That’s also the summer your father came back.”
“What? You said Papa died.”
Julie closed her eyes and inhaled, held it for a moment before exhaling, and looked back at her daughter.
“I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you over the years when it came to your father, but it was only to protect you.
He went to jail when you were two, on charges of abuse and drug possession. ”
Addison couldn’t believe her ears. All these years she thought her father had just left them, didn’t want them.
“Before you make assumptions, let me explain. I did it for your safety, for both of our safeties. He was abusive, and he ran with a really rough crowd. I intended to tell you someday when he got out of prison.”
“But?”
“But he got early parole, and before I found out about it, he’d come looking for us.”
“And you never told me? Why? Why would you keep him from me? He did his time. What if he was a changed man?”
Julie ran a shaky hand over her daughter’s hair.
“Oh, but he wasn’t, honey. He came looking for money, not to see you, not to see his little daughter or me.
No, he had seen on a news post that you had won the Ambassador Contest, and he came looking for the prize money, not realizing it was a scholarship and not cash. ”
“What happened?” Addison’s brain was reeling as she took in the information. She’d always known her father had left. Her mother made it clear that he was not a good person and that he had no interest in them. The year she graduated high school, Mom told her he died.
“He showed up when you were away on vacation. It got ugly. Thank God for Mitch, or I might not be here.”
Addison gripped her mother’s hand and pulled it into her lap. “I never knew.”
“I didn’t want you to. But now, in the light of the events that have happened recently, I think you need to know.”
“That I come from trash and it’s always gonna be in my background.” Addison felt the sinking feeling in her gut.
“No, you’re not trash. You’re my daughter.
You are nothing like him, and he will never bother you again.
He went back to prison after that visit and was killed in prison.
You’ll never have to worry about him again.
” Her mom looked at the cross, then back to her daughter.
“The reason I’m telling you this is because I almost ended it with Mitch for the same reason that you broke up with Nash. ”
“Mom, you and Mitch are made for each other.”
“And so are you and Nash. Mitch had a son, and the last thing I wanted to do was put him in jeopardy because of my past mistakes. Baby girl, let me tell you, when the right man comes along and you two commit to working through the good and the bad on both sides, it’s worth every struggle, every moment.
Because we don’t know how many days we have, why waste them on worry and what ifs? ”
Addison leaned back. Her mom’s words took hold.
“Would you run if someone from Nash’s past showed up and was threatening him or Davey?”
“No. I would fight with everything in me.”
“Then baby girl, dry your eyes and go fight. Fight for the life you want and the family you deserve.”