Chapter 8
eight
The ranger station had been kept in pristine condition, and it was, as promised, fully stocked with all the comforts of home.
Minus electricity. And an actual bed. And a kitchen.
But the view more than made up for roughing it.
Not sure it was good enough to distract from using an outhouse, since we were so far off the grid, but I wasn’t about to complain.
Out loud. Thoughts were fair game, though.
“There’s a herd of deer half a mile south of us. Lots of rabbits and smaller game too.”
Rían, his cheeks flush from exertion, bustled inside the circular room with his announcement.
“You don’t have to go all out for my sake. You’ve got enough in your pantry for me to make do.”
“Are you sure?” He anchored his hands on his hips, causing his crop top to rise higher. “I don’t mind.”
A thought occurred to me, and I couldn’t shake it loose. I believed Rían about this being his private retreat, but that didn’t mean others didn’t sneak up here when he was away for long periods.
“If no one else comes up here, what’s the deal with your outfit?”
“The Walsh clan owns about fifty acres in this area, but the tower is almost on the property line. There’s a clan of black bears next door, and we allow them to hunt the property when we’re away.
Most of their members are female, and they’re famous for stealing the oversized clothes I cache in our communal bin.
It’s easier for me to borrow a pair of their sweats or shorts and change into my own clothes after I reach the tower.
Then I return the loaners, without washing them, and it’s a win/win for everyone. ”
“That sounds…” Like he was keeping an ursine harem in the wilds. “Explain this to me again?”
“It’s the male predator scent they’re after. Nothing personal. They swear it lingers through washings. They’ll tear my tees and pants to ribbons then hang scraps in trees to ward off males of the species.”
“Huh.” I leaned against the edge of the built-in table. “There’s no greater predator than a dragon, so I could see that.” I couldn’t help my smile. “Does that mean you’ll be switching out your ensemble?”
“I’m a confident man, but I’m not sure I can pull off a belly shirt.”
The temptation to encourage him to pull it off had me biting my bottom lip, which drew his eye like a magnet. “Paired with the capri sweatpants, it’s definitely a look.”
“Then I’ll be brave and stand by my fashion choices.” He waved me over to him. “Let’s go to the roof.”
With the sun setting, the sky was bathed in pinks and oranges, and I had to admit, it was beautiful.
Mounted on the far side of the building, on the end opposite the covered chute we climbed to reach the platform, a small ladder led up to the promised roof. I hadn’t realized it was accessible, but the second I peeked over the edge, I couldn’t restrain my grin.
“You’re a stargazer.” I could tell from the industrial mount screwed into a compact viewing platform and the bulky telescope case anchored against bad weather and theft with metal straps.
“I bet you time your visits with meteor showers and those once in a lifetime moon events that seem to crop up more like once a month.”
“Guilty as charged,” he said from behind me, his breath warm in my ear.
As I scrambled over the ledge, I couldn’t help but appreciate the view that much more.
While I explored, Rían strung a heavy-duty hammock from two stumpy posts that appeared to be sawed-off radio antennas from the tower’s active days. After he secured the ends with hefty carabiners and tested them, he lowered himself in then patted the spot beside him.
The mesh gave under my weight, tipping me against his side, but neither of us seemed to mind the close quarters. I pushed off the shingles with the tips of my toes, swinging us, waiting for him to explain what I sensed pressing on him beyond the fiery start to the day.
“There’s no easy way to say this…” He tipped his head back. “We received word a few hours ago that the challenge for alpha of the Sartori pack was called after a seven-hour brawl.”
Pit two alpha personalities against one another, and you were guaranteed a good show, but seven hours was excessive even by our pack’s warped standards.
Though I was sure Carmichael’s rage had fueled the bout.
Losing me and what I represented had shaken him to his foundation, exposing his fixation for all to see.
Mercer’s betrayal after years of loyal service had stripped Carmichael bare, leaving him raw and vulnerable.
But I was deflecting. Buying time. I wanted to know the victor as much as I didn’t want him to tell me.
“Carmichael lost.” I hadn’t been certain of it until I spoke the words. “Mercer is the new alpha.”
“Yes.” Rían’s large hands engulfed mine. “I wanted to give you privacy when you heard.”
“Is he…?” I swiped a tear off my cheek, furious it had fallen. “Is Carmichael dead?”
“Mercer withheld the killing blow.” His exhale whistled through his teeth. “Sentinels loyal to Sartori carried him to safety. We don’t know where they’ve gone. They brought charms to conceal their trail.”
Relief mingled with regret, twisting me up inside, making it impossible to determine how I felt about this development. I hated him for killing my parents, for robbing me of my identity, but he had been the only father I would ever know. Things would have been so much easier if Mercer had…
No.
I couldn’t blame Mercer for showing Carmichael mercy when I might have done the same in his place.
Life was messy, people were complicated, and even steadfast hearts faltered. “He expected to lose.”
“Mercer was a formidable opponent.”
Mercer was formidable, and he wasn’t the type to show mercy.
Carmichael had been an exception, and I could sympathize.
But I couldn’t dismiss how odd it had been for Carmichael to preplan an escape route.
That wasn’t like him. At all. He was more likely to tear out his own throat than to admit defeat.
“In light of these developments, are you sure it’s still the right move to lower the wards on Brentwood?”
“No.” His eyes crinkled at my surprise. “But unless we all consent to living under a dome for the rest of our lives, we have to open up sometime. It’s risky, and everyone will be warned, but we’re not without allies.”
“You’re an optimistic guy, considering everything you’ve been through.”
“There’s too much good in my life to only ever see the bad.” He brought our joined hands to his mouth. “That includes you.”
The warmth of his lips brushing my skin skyrocketed my heart rate, and awareness tingled through me of how our thighs touched from hip to knee in this position. “Sure you’re okay after this morning?”
“Not a scorched hair on my head.” He tugged on his ear. “Burdock did mention I was covered in weird bruises, but he wasn’t sure if that was the result of falling in the lake or not. There are old Christmas trees and God only knows what down there. Cement blocks too.”
For cement blocks to be responsible for the number of times I slapped him on the back and in the face, there would have to be a Legoland of them down there. “Hmm.” I scratched a fresh mosquito bite. “That is weird.”
“I did lose a shoe, though.” He wiggled his bare toes. “I’m tempted to go back and see if I can find it.”
“I would rather you didn’t.” I mashed my lips together. “Sorry, that’s the trauma speaking.”
“Normally, I wouldn’t sweat it, but Goldie gave those sneakers to me for my birthday. Bought with her own money, if you can believe it. They’re only a few months old, so if I can rescue them, I want to try.”
“Well, I suppose you could send Liam. Call it penance.” I picked at my fingernails. “Though I have to admit, the longer I think about it, the more childish I feel for running away to sulk.”
“Liam has to learn there are better ways to talk to people.” He sighed. “Those of us who know him are used to how unhinged he can get, and we know he doesn’t mean what he says when he’s screaming or jumping up and down like the world is his personal trampoline park.”
A snicker escaped me at that mental picture because it fit his tantrums so well.
“That’s how he processes, and I told myself it was fine, but I see now I’ve let him get away with it for too long.
He needs to rein it in for the sake of his position and those depending on him to conduct himself as a professional.
” A thread of pride wove through his voice.
“He can act like you wouldn’t believe, become a whole other person when he’s undercover.
” He fisted his hands on his thighs. “Bad example.”
“No worries.” Liam had fooled the heck out of me when he pretended to be Bowie Ferguson to infiltrate the Sartori pack. “I understand why you did what you did, and you’re right. He acted born for the role.”
“Other people, he can imitate.” He agreed with me. “It’s himself he can’t seem to get a handle on.”
“Maybe he’s spent too long in other people’s skins and needs to figure out how to exist in his own?”
“That’s an astute observation.” His fingers relaxed as he mulled it over. “You might be right.”
Unable to help myself, I covered his hand with mine. “Fayne doesn’t seem to have lost herself.”
“Fayne is very much herself. She has a strong mind and isn’t easily influenced by others. Not one single thing has changed about her since my earliest memories. That’s why she’s been our rock.”
Or perhaps she was a better actor than any of them realized and Gran was the persona she adopted around them.
Not to say it wasn’t a genuine facet of her personality, but maybe she had put in the extra effort of maintaining a flawless facade then because she’d had kids depending on her to be that person.
Liam, Rían, and Goldie had all lost their parents, and Fayne had suffered that same grief alongside them.
Which meant she missed out on savoring the role of grandmother to the fullest. Instead, it had fallen to her to set an example for them as she had for her own children.
Children whose absence still hurt too much for a single word about them to pass her lips.
“What about your grandfather?” I hesitated a beat, weighing my words. “Is it okay to ask about him?”
“Burdock isn’t our grandfather,” he confirmed with a bittersweet smile. “He died before we were born. We never met him.”
Dragons must have the highest mortality rate of any shifter species. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“A decade or so after his passing, Burdock talked Fayne into giving him one date to win her over. She agreed because she was tired of him asking.” He chuckled. “They’ve been an officially unofficial item ever since.”
“Have they ever lived together?”
“He stayed over sometimes, mostly during the holidays, in his own room.” He rolled his eyes like it wasn’t obvious Burdock hadn’t slept in his own bed except for show. “Otherwise, they’ve been content to each live in their own spaces.”
“As long as they’re both happy, that’s what matters.”
“This move to Brentwood marks the first time I’ve had my own place.
Liam moved out, but I always lived with Fayne so she could help keep an eye on my sister while I was at work or dealing with clan matters.
” His grin stretched the scar in his lip I was dying to taste.
“Now that Fayne is living alone for the first time since she was granted custody of Liam, she might find it’s a little too quiet. ”
“It almost sounds like you planned it that way.”
“Fayne has given her life in service to the clan, and her family. She deserves to be happy whether that looks like enjoying her new home with only the occasional sleepover with Goldie or if the silence convinces her the spare bedroom ought to belong to Burdock on a more permanent basis.”
“Rían?”
“Hmm?”
“Would you be upset if I said I wanted to go back to Brentwood tonight?”
Quiet settled around us, and his expression flickered between emotions too fast for me to name them.
“Are you uncomfortable with the idea of spending the night alone with me?”
“I sleep down the hall from you, so, no. That’s not it.
But I do feel guilty for running away like I did.
And, even if Fayne is clever enough to figure out where you would’ve taken me, I’m sure she would feel better knowing you and I are safe.
” I rested my head against his upper arm. “Can I get a rain check?”
“You don’t have to come back here to humor me, if it’s not your thing.”
“I like spending time with you like this, when it’s just you and me.” The muscles I was using for my pillow drew taut, and I knew I had misstepped and could guess why. “I bet Goldie would too, if you’re willing to open your boys-only club to more girl members.”
The tension in him eased with a swiftness that convinced me I had been right in my hunch.
“I’m willing to consider other applicants.” He lowered his chin. “Though we should probably keep her far away from the Dunkirks, the bear clan I mentioned. Otherwise, she might start preaching her girl boss philosophy to a receptive audience and end up their alpha.”
Zero effort was required to picture her presiding over eager supplicants she would dispatch on odd jobs to grow her empire and expand her rule.
And her bank account. Plus, once she realized the Dunkirks would work for Rían’s clothes to continue deterring males, she would strip Rían’s closet bare and pocket all profits of their enterprises.
“We haven’t discussed it, but your guardianship of Goldie isn’t a dealbreaker for me.”
“I could tell the first time you two were in a room together that she had already wrapped you around her little finger.” He patted my shoulder.
“Don’t feel bad. She’s had a lifetime of practice being adorable.
You didn’t stand a chance, really.” He wiped the amusement off his face. “But thank you. For telling me.”
As the last pastel swatches faded from the sky, blanketing the woods in darkness, I nestled in closer.
“Are you ready to go?” He sounded hopeful I would change my mind. “We could stay a little longer.”
“Okay.” I let him hold me, wishing I had kept my mouth shut. “Just a little longer.”