Chapter 44
Although it was a Sunday, Aurelia woke earlier than she’d planned or hoped. As the sun made its way through her blinds, Fezz took this as a sign that it was time to encourage her to get out of bed.
Once she had her cup of tea in hand and an album playing softly on the record player, she settled herself in the armchair overlooking the square. Looking at the clock on the wall, she decided David would certainly be awake by now.
Almost as soon as she’d said hello, he asked, “Are you calling to tell me how swoony Oliver is?”
“David!” she scolded. “No, in fact, that’s not why I’m calling.”
Aurelia had forgotten that David knew she was working with Oliver and would want to discuss him nonstop at the first opportunity.
“Let’s pretend it is. How is he? Are the sparks flying this time around?”
“I’ll hang up if you keep at it.”
“Oh, come on. You ought to know I’m going to tease you mercilessly about this.”
“No, David, please. I’m not up for it this morning,” Aurelia said in her most petulant voice.
“What’s wrong? James said Oliver’s in his mad editor mode—is he editing your book into oblivion?”
“He is, a bit. But I can’t get a read on him.” Aurelia paused, debating how much to share before deciding she needed David’s input—even if it would overexcite him. “We had dinner the other night and I think he was hinting he’s open to a relationship.”
“Well, he is.”
“Isn’t he trying to get over his ex-girlfriend?”
Aurelia couldn’t bring herself to mention the other issue—the fact that he’d once told her in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want to date her seemed to contradict his hinting.
“That was months ago. The last time I saw him at one of James’s work things, he mentioned something about being ready to move on.”
“Hmm,” Aurelia intoned noncommittally. She wasn’t sure what to do with that new information, so she tried for a change of topic. “What are you and James up to today?”
“We’re heading out to see his parents, but we’ll be home for dinner. Do you want to come round?”
“Will you be in the kitchen again?”
“No, we’re doing takeaway. James begged for a break from my ‘historically weird culinary arts,’ as he’s now calling it.”
“Actually, I was going to stay in tonight. But maybe we can meet for a coffee?”
“You do realize I never see you outside of daylight hours anymore? Every time I suggest dinner, you’d rather do lunch or coffee. Don’t think I didn’t notice you saying you had dinner with Oliver.”
“I did meet him for dinner—one time,” Aurelia admitted. “But I’m trying to keep up progress on the book, and it’s easier to write at night. There’s a lot to do if I want to get it published this year.”
“This year? Is that even possible?”
“I don’t know… I hope so?”
“What did Oliver say?”
“He said we could try.”
“I’m proud of you, you know that, but why the rush? You’re like a thing possessed.”
“I’m not possessed. It’s just something I’ve set my heart on, that’s all.”
Aurelia hoped he’d leave it at that, as they were veering dangerously close to all the reasons she couldn’t explain for wanting to get Vronsky’s story ready to test out as soon as possible.
David sighed. “Not possessed, then. Obsessed, maybe.”
“Yeah, I’ll give you that. Can we meet for coffee or lunch this week? I want to see you—I do.”
“Alright, I’ll call you for lunch later this week,” David said, sounding temporarily placated.
After ringing off, Aurelia sat for a moment, feeling as though she’d dodged a more serious telling-off that she probably deserved. She stood up and was about to head into the bathroom to shower when her phone rang.
“How could you tell I needed you?” she asked, knowing it would be Antonia. Moving back to the armchair, Aurelia sat and nestled in again. Fezz strolled over, jumped up on the chair, and settled in next to her.
“If you need me so badly, why haven’t I heard from you in days? I tried calling last night, and when you didn’t answer I started to worry.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy with the book.”
Aurelia hesitated. She didn’t want to tell Antonia that David had just scolded her for not wanting to go out at night.
And her recent argument with Vronsky wasn’t something she could mention either.
It seemed she was walking a very thin line with everyone these days—precariously balancing between what she could share on one side and what she needed to hide on the other.
She decided the safest bet was to focus on her dinner with Oliver, which she was sure Antonia would find just as tantalizing.
“You remember I told you about my editor?”
“Yes—Oliver.”
“Right. Well, we had dinner on Friday.”
“Dinner? Indeed,” Antonia said roguishly.
“Yes, his aloofness is dropping,” Aurelia acknowledged. “He hinted that he’s open to a relationship.”
“Good—so are you.”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are, Aurelia! You’re single, and you’ve said he’s cute.”
“He is.”
“Alright, then.” Antonia’s tone suggested the matter was settled.
“I’m not going to call him up and ask him on a date right now!” Aurelia said, exasperated.
“Why not?”
“Because he’s not interested in me,” Aurelia said lightly, though she was sure Antonia could hear the sting of it in her voice.
“I doubt that. But if he wasn’t before, maybe he’s changed his mind.”
“I don’t know,” Aurelia said quietly, not wanting to read too much into their recent conversations at the risk of getting it all wrong.
“So what’s the problem? You’ve said he’s smart and cute—forget whether he likes you. Is it conceivable that you might like him?”
Aurelia rolled her eyes to the ceiling, not needing much time to think the question over.
“It’s conceivable.”
“Can you imagine kissing him again? Holding his hand while walking down the street? Having him round for the night?”
Aurelia drew in a deep breath. She thought about the moments his guard dropped and he gave her a smile that reached his eyes, or he got excited about an idea for her book.
She thought about sitting across from him at the restaurant and what it might be like to have him walk her home, kiss her goodnight, or come up to her flat.
She couldn’t deny that the tugging sensation in her belly stretched all the way to her chest as she let each thought pass through her mind.
“Confirmed—I can definitely imagine all that.”
“Alright, that’s something, then. This isn’t a marriage contract—just ask him out on a date.”
“Antonia!”
“If he says no, or if he says yes and then you decide you don’t feel those special magical sparks, then just tell him. No harm done.”
“That would be so awkward. We’d still be stuck working together.”
“Maybe, but you’d get over it. And the alternative is never trying and maybe missing out on something great just because things might get awkward.” Antonia paused. “I don’t want you missing out on things.”
“It’s not just that…” Aurelia took a deep breath. “I’m still not ready.”
“It’s been over a year, Relia,” Antonia said gently, intuiting exactly what her sister meant. “You’re allowed to fall in love and be happy.”
Aurelia knew she was right but still felt guilty at the idea, as if it meant forgetting too.
“Whether it’s Oliver or someone else, just don’t shut out the possibility,” Antonia continued. “Leave that door open, okay?”
“Okay,” Aurelia promised.
They talked until Aurelia’s mug of tea was empty and they’d agreed that Antonia might as well make the most of her Sunday and go out for a long lunch with her husband.
Aurelia decided to make the most of her day too.
The weather had cleared, and the early spring sun was surprisingly strong as it streamed in through the windows of her flat.
She showered and changed, then made her way to Richmond Park for a long walk in the sunshine.