Chapter 2 #4
‘She mentioned having a few twinges too and, even though we all know aches and pains can be perfectly normal in pregnancy, something just didn’t sit right with me, and I didn’t want to take any chances.
’ Hope blew out a long breath. Thank God she’d gone with her gut, but it brought home just how high the stakes in her job could be and the thought of what might have happened made goosepimples break out all over her skin, despite the warmth of the room.
‘It was a great call, and we both think you’re going to be huge asset to the team, don’t we, Anna?
’ Jess sounded like a proud mother and for the first time Hope allowed herself to smile.
She’d only been in the job a couple of weeks, but it already felt like somewhere she could picture herself staying long-term.
‘We certainly do and we want to make sure that you’re as happy to be working across the hospital and the community as we are to have your skills in both areas. That’s why we wanted to talk to you about whether there are any particular areas of work you might want to get involved with?’
‘I love having the opportunity to work in both the community and the hospital.’ Hope returned Anna’s smile. ‘I enjoy all of it and I’ve run antenatal classes before too, as well as mentoring student midwives. So I’m happy to get involved in things like that, if you’d like me to?’
‘Absolutely.’ Anna nodded. ‘There is another initiative that’s a bit outside the scope of usual midwifery services, which some of us volunteer for, and we’re a bit shorthanded right now, but it might not be something you feel comfortable with.’
‘You’ve got me intrigued now.’ Hope couldn’t imagine what it could possibly be, but she definitely wanted to know.
‘Both Anna and I experienced fertility problems when we were trying for our own families.’ Jess’s tone was surprisingly matter-of-fact.
‘Anna went on to have successful fertility treatment, and I eventually fostered and then adopted, but we discovered through our own experiences how little support there was for women experiencing infertility in the Three Ports areas. So we set up our own group.’
‘It might sound unusual for midwives to run an infertility group.’ Anna continued where Jess had left off.
‘But we’ve had a wealth of experience dealing with all kinds of pregnancies and it felt like that, along with our personal experiences, made us ideally placed to support other women going through what we did.
We still run the group once a fortnight, but I’ve been offered a place on a part-time master’s degree at Portsmouth University, and unfortunately the lectures are on the same night as the infertility support group.
We did consider changing it, but it’s quite established and some of the members have arranged their own shift patterns around it.
Usually, if one of us is on shift or on call on the night of the group, one of the other midwives on the team helps out.
But we could do with someone who can stand in for me as a regular at the group until I finish the course. ’
‘It sounds great, but I haven’t got any personal experience of infertility.
’ For a moment Hope wondered if she should share the fact that she did have some personal insight into fostering and adoption, but she wasn’t ready to do that.
If she was going to tell anyone at the hospital about her history, it should be Joe, but she still had no idea if she’d ever be ready to do that either.
‘That’s not a problem at all,’ Jess said.
‘The women in the group are generally very open, and I’ve found it really useful to gain so much insight into issues around infertility and how that affects women, if they do eventually become pregnant.
It’s helped me understand how much anxiety this can result in, and how to support the women I’m looking after to make informed decisions.
We just thought that getting involved might interest you on that basis, but there’s absolutely no pressure, especially as it’s an unpaid role. ’
For a moment Hope didn’t say anything, and Anna must have taken it as reluctance. ‘Like Jess said, there’s no pressure at all. Just have a think about it for a few days and let us know if it’s something you might be interested in trying.’
‘I’d love to do it.’ The certainty in Hope’s voice took her by surprise, but she wasn’t just trying to please her new managers – she really did want to do this.
She’d been so lucky to be fostered and then adopted by her wonderful parents and she knew better than anyone that families could be made in lots of different ways.
If getting involved in the group allowed her to give one woman hope for a future she might not have been able to envisage, then she’d have lived up to the name Laura had given her and done a tiny bit to repay the love her parents had shown her.
Suddenly it didn’t matter that other people at the hospital might hear her story before Joe did, because her history had the potential to help people.
When it came to Joe, it still felt as though there was a distinct possibility that the knowledge could ruin his life.
Until she was absolutely certain that wasn’t the case, she wouldn’t be going anywhere near him, let alone telling him he had a daughter he didn’t even know existed.