Chapter 5
ALANA
“SO WHERE ARE we going again?” I ask Rosalia for the hundredth time. Forcing myself to go out while having zero desire might be causing me to mentally disassociate.
It’s been a long time since I’ve gone out with friends—not that I have many to begin with. Lia is really the only person I’ve met and made time for. Although, I’m not so sure if it’s that I’ve made time for her or that she simply wouldn’t allow me not to, but I love her too much to question it.
She’s the loud crack in the quiet calm I’ve tried to maintain.
Even now as we walk down Austin’s lively city street, she’s the main character.
It’s almost as if the world knows it. She’s so unapologetic, flaunting her big curls and loud voice as boldly as the rest of her personality.
She doesn’t care who hears or who’s watching. She’s always just Lia.
We met spring semester of my freshman, her sophomore year, right after Macey Bitchwell ‘accidentally’ spilled her coffee all over the syllabus she was supposed to hand me.
I’m not necessarily unfamiliar with bullying. Growing up in a neighborhood like I did with a bunch of unparented kids, you came across a jerk or two, and you learned how to hold your own quickly.
A sharp tongue and a witty comeback did well to send the biggest barkers running. But things had changed that last year of high school, and it left me shaken in a way I still hadn’t recovered from.
I held my own back home, but here, I was a small fish in a big pond, and at eighteen and completely out of my element without the support I was used to, my old reflexes didn’t come as quickly anymore.
I’m not saying Macey randomly targeted me.
I was keen to her dislike for me ever since our performing arts professor shockingly claimed I had potential ‘everyone else should take notes on,’ and didn’t award her in the least. It was basically a not-so-subtle way of saying, you all suck.
Compliments aren’t something I’m used to, and I definitely could have done without that one.
Lia had watched the whole coffee spill unfold.
Without hesitating, she’d slid her seat a little closer so I could look off her paper.
When Macey muttered something about certain people always being a charity case, Lia fired back with, “Better than being the mega-bitch of high school. Or wait, isn’t this college?
” She scoffed. “My bad. Your shitty body spray and mean-girl attitude had me thinking I time traveled.”
Macey rolled her eyes, Lia snarled, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
It’s nearly three years later, and Lia is still here, interjecting herself into my life and taking over where she can. And I wouldn’t change it for a thing.
“Alana, I’m telling you right now, if you ask me that one more time, I’m taking you to the ER and telling them you have a concussion.” I laugh. Lia rolls her eyes and smiles while linking her arm through mine. “We’re going to The Big D.”
Naturally, I have no idea where she’s talking about. I’ve never heard of The Big D or any place that even begins with—Wait…
“Donn’s?” I ask in disbelief. “We’re going to Donn’s?”
Donn’s isn’t necessarily intimidating. It’s more of a local’s spot than a tourist location, and though it’s two stories with a large bar, dance floor, and loud live music, the people who frequent it are generally on the calmer side.
Not that I know from experience—this is just what I hear.
But it doesn’t make sense why she’d want to go there. Lia is anything but calm.
“Yes, girl. For the bartenders,” she explains.
“Didn’t you notice they only hire hot-as-fuck guys?
” Of course I hadn’t. “I have a theory that you have to have a big dick to work there, and that’s why they named it The Big D.
They probably measure it against a vodka bottle or something to make sure you’re up to par. ”
I laugh as she gestures with her hands. “But you know it’s not named The Big D,” I clarify. “It’s just called Donn’s, and there’s an uppercase ‘D’ on the logo.”
Lia rolls her eyes. “It’s clearly a metaphor, Alana. Jeez,” she deadpans, and I laugh again. “Anyway, I plan on getting to the bottom of this theory of mine, even if it takes me all senior year. And it’s already October, which means I’ve lost a month!”
“Got it. We’re on a voyage.”
“An odyssey!” She agrees with her fist to the sky, and we laugh our way into the bar thirty seconds later.
We split at the entrance. I go to find a table, and she grabs us drinks.
The space is much more crowded than I expect.
I figured with multiple levels, there’d be more than enough room to move around, but it takes me several minutes to find an available seat through the sea of people.
When I finally land on a red leathered stool at a fold-up wall table, I can’t see the bar at all.
Luckily, I happen to be in view of the band and sing along to Sam Hunt’s “Downtown’s Dead” before Lia spots me with our drinks.
“Lemon drops to say goodbye to summer, and vodka sodas because they hurt less. Plus—less calories.”
“Oh, shut up. You’re perfect,” I yell over the band. If there’s anyone who can ignore calorie count, it’s Lia.
“We’re perfect, lady, and let us never forget it!”
We pound back the shots and suck down our drinks, singing and laughing as the buzz flows over us.
We dance to a few songs, arms swaying in the air as our bodies move to the beat.
Eventually, we move bar side, and Lia sinks her hooks into a bartender named Craig, who is honestly model-level gorgeous.
I mean, he’s at least six-two with floppy blond hair that dangles over his sapphire blue eyes.
His smolder alone has Lia’s tan cheeks flushing.
Her bracelets dangle together, clanging like a tambourine every time she reaches up to press against his chest. I admire her boldness.
Even if I could set out on such a plan, I’d never be able to go through with it.
Lia is the type that sees what she wants and takes it.
I’m the type to never get what I want, no matter how bad I want it.
Usually because it doesn’t want me back, and if it does, it’s for the wrong reasons.
Not that I have time for such things, anyway.
Boys. Bars. Fun.
You shouldn’t even be here, Alana.
My shoulders sag, and suddenly, a dark cloud creeps over me. I let out a deep breath and try to shake it off. My eyes scan the room of the laughing faces without a care in the world and nausea rolls in my belly.
I need a break.
I grab my free beer—thanks to Hot Bartender Craig—and hop off my barstool.
“Bathroom,” I mouth to Lia who gives me a quick nod before her eyes are back on the sapphire seas above her.
I follow the illuminated signs that indicate the direction of the restroom, making my way through the crowd and to the back of the bar.
Just as I’m about to lean into the wooden door labeled Mam’s, I spot an exit door that looks like it leads to a back alley. The thought of fresh air and silence becomes an undeniable need, and I push out into the night.
The steel door slams shut behind me, silencing the chaos. I close my eyes and take in a big alleviating breath, filling my lungs with the moon and the stars. I exhale slowly as I remind myself that this is my moment. This is my freedom. Nothing else matters, except for today.
“You know, you’re not supposed to be out here,” a deep voice warns from behind me. My heart stills in my chest, and the hairs on my neck stand.
I spin toward the voice, startled, only to be oddly calmed once I see it’s Jake.
He’s sitting on the edge of a milk crate, leaning forward just enough for his long dark hair to fall out of its slick back.
His dark jeans are worn at the knees, covering just enough of his scuffed black boots.
His white shirt is stretched thin over his broad chest and wide arms. With one hand perched on his knee, he almost looks like a cowboy, minus the hat and straw in his mouth.
A sexy cowboy. One that’s seemingly glorified in the dim yellow light of the alley.
I shrug. “Well, you’re out here.”
“Yeah, but this is where I work.” His voice is flat, but his lips tilt upward at one corner.
I huff out a breath. “Of course you do.”
He tips his chin. “What’s that now?”
“Nothing,” I breathe.
Of course he works at Donn’s. Why wouldn’t beautiful Jake work at the beautiful-man bar named after their beautiful packages?
I clear my throat. “I didn’t see you inside.”
“I was on barback today.”
“Cleanup crew?”
“More like support staff.” I nod in response. “It’s easier sometimes.” He doesn’t add to that, and for once, I don’t pry.
My eyes travel from his dark hazel greens to the smirk on his lips. They dip down his broad chest and take note of his relaxed posture. And then they land on the space between his parted legs. My head tilts the slightest bit as my mind begins to wander.
If Lia’s theory is right, then he probably…
I blink rapidly as I shun the thought away, my eyes darting back up quickly as embarrassment flushes my cheeks.
He huffs out a chuckle and rises, gaze settled on his boots. I pretend it has nothing to do with the way he caught me looking at him.
He takes a step toward me and places both hands in his pockets. I spin, giving him my back while taking a moment to collect myself.
“So, what brings Allie to the alley?” he asks between what I assume are steps.
I grin, amused by the new nickname. It’s soft and light, and charming coming from him. “Came for a smoke. You?”
“Same.” He stops beside me, and my body starts to buzz.
My brows crease, and I turn my head to him. “You smoke?” I could never picture a guy like Jake with a cigarette pinched between his lips. Not with his perfect skin and shiny white teeth and all.
“Never.” His smirk deepens. “You?”
My lips twist into a smile. “Never,” I repeat.
He gives me that endearing grin that turns downward at the corners and shakes his head, his eyes dropping to his feet again.