Chapter 42
Chapter
Forty-Two
NISSA
Blinking awake, I moan as I feel petal-like kisses moving down my stomach. Strong hands grip my hips under the sheets, holding me firmly to the bed.
Reaching the top of my underwear, he lifts his head from my abdomen to slip my underwear down my legs. Unfortunately for him, and me, Cyndr takes notice of the threat moving under the covers—and attacks.
Cillian yells out as claws penetrate through the sheets into the top of his head.
My eyes go wide, and I jerk up to grab my miniature protector.
Before I can pry his claws out, Cillian lifts up on his knees, still covered in the blankets, and Cyndr screeches, digging his claws in tighter. Pure pandemonium fills the room.
By the time I separate the two, I am in a full blooming laugh. With his hair in all directions from the sheets and the attack, Cillian gives me an outraged-filled look, like I have betrayed him. I laugh even harder.
Before I realize what is happening, he lunges for me, grabs my sides, and tickles me until tears are streaming down my cheeks.
I scream between the laughter for Cyndr to get him.
But now that he has identified the threat as a friend, he lazily curls up in the sun by the window, swishing his tail in the stream and ignoring my plea.
When Cillian finally relents, we are lying side by side, chests rising and falling rapidly. Random laughs bubble out of both of us.
Linking our hands, Cillian rolls his head to face me. “Are you going to see your mother today?” His expression is concerned.
It has been two days since they took everyone into custody.
My mother had not arrived at the celebration yet, so she was apprehended from my childhood home.
The same home where my father taught me to love and laugh, to dance and cherish those in your life.
The home that now sits empty—my sister dead, my mother contained, and my father gone.
I take a deep breath and sit up, cross-legged next to Cillian. “Want to see a trick?”
He gives me a knowing smile but nods. Placing his hands behind his head, flexing his arms and putting them on full display for me. I smile at the ease of the moment and allow myself another few minutes before facing the question of my mother.
“Cyndr,” I whisper, and a single eyelid opens to look at me. “Let’s show him.” I tilt my head towards Cillian and note the growing interest on his face. He sits up, watching closely.
Excited but in no rush to share his new trick, Cyndr stands and stretches his back.
He sits back on his haunches, and I giggle at the confident look on his little face.
He looks up at me and then to Cillian before his chest grows as he sucks in air.
Cillian’s eyes go wide when Cyndr blows out and a small burst of fire fills the space between us.
“Your fire!” Cillian laughs in excitement. “How did this happen?” he asks as Cyndr jumps to his lap to receive his praise.
“As soon as you told me that he’d lost his fire, I began working on some different herbal concoctions I hoped would help. I took them to the library every day, and it seems to have worked.”
Cyndr puffs up his chest again, now perched on Cillian’s shoulder, and blows out another burst of fire. I smile, watching the two of them.
“I’m going to talk to her this afternoon,” I say, finally acknowledging his question about my mother.
His smile fades for a moment before returning. He nods and we let it drop. He knows I’ll come to him when I’m ready to talk about it.
I’ve put it off as long as I can. I slowly pull the wind into my chest as the Guardians pull the iron doors open for me. They watch me with sympathetic eyes as I stand there, staring into the dark hallway, unmoving.
When an uncomfortable amount of time has passed, they look at each other.
“Queen—”
I hold up my hand. They both dip their heads towards the floor and give me the time I need to build up the courage to get answers that I don’t know if I want.
When I eventually cross the threshold, fae fire torches along the wall dimly come ablaze providing me with the needed light. I look past barred cell after barred cell before I find my mother in one halfway down the hall.
I stand there, firm as a tree trunk, rooted to the hallway’s stones as she looks back through the bars at me. She looks older here, her thin body clothed in black, washing out her natural coloring.
“Nissa.” My name comes out like a prayer on her lips. Like she isn’t sure I’m really there.
I swallow hard.
When I don’t respond, she stands and walks to the bars. She studies my face for a breeze and then returns her gaze to my eyes. “Do you want to know?” she asks.
I blink back the burning in my eyes.
“No excuses,” she rushes out. “I’m as guilty as the others, but can I tell you why?”
I try to nod, but the movement won’t come. “Is my father actually alive?” I have to know. I don’t want any story or excuse until I know that truth.
A single tear slides down her cheek. “Yes. I can still feel him out there.” She places fingers to her chest. “I don’t know where. But somewhere—he lives.”
I nod the smallest amount, and she stares at me for just a moment. “He loved—loves you and Nova so much. When the High Priestess told the four of us about the prophecy, you could see the pride in his eyes. It filled my heart so full, until I saw the horror on Isolde’s face.”
She looks to the ground. “I knew something was wrong. But Kiel decided immediately that you would be trained alongside Nova. It was Gaia’s decree, so neither of them questioned Isolde when she said we should keep it quiet.
They agreed with her logic about not telling Castara until the four of you were older.
” She shakes her head and looks up at me.
“I should have spoken up then. I could see in her eyes that she did not like the prophecy. A mother’s intuition maybe.
And once we learned about Aiden… I knew she had no intention of letting him take half the kingdom from her children. ”
I take in her words. Isolde has been at the center of everything, in everyone’s account. She manipulated everything.
“Then there was an accident…” Tears fill her eyes, and a line forms between my eyebrows. “You were hurt badly.”
What accident? I don’t remember this.
“Isolde had the images removed from your memory,” she explains.
“Why?” It is the first word I’ve gotten out since she started.
“I think Caspien caused it. He was becoming violent even then.” A look of confusion crosses her face. “You fell. To be honest I don’t remember exactly what Isolde said happened. Just that it would be better for everyone if we sent you to the Homestead to recover.”
And I never came back.
“Did you know he killed Nova?” The words rush from my mouth. My entire body shakes, waiting for the answer.
Her eyes go wild, “No! He wanted to be king more than anything. Killing Nova would make no sense. He needed her.”
“But you warned me.” I narrow my gaze on her.
She nods. “I agreed to send you away, but it was always to keep you safe. And as you got older, it was clear you hated it here and didn’t care about being queen.
And I saw just how dangerous Isolde could be.
I was terrified when you started looking into Nova’s death.
The Vaylors were obviously covering something up.
I just didn’t know why. I didn’t want you upsetting the wrong person. And Isolde is easily upset.”
“So it was all out of love,” I say, jaw tight.
Her eyes are sad, her shoulders dropping.
“As I said, no excuses. I could have spoken up so many times, and I didn’t out of fear.
It was the wrong decision and impacted everything.
” The weight of the last word is heavy between us.
“Once the storms started I didn’t speak up.
I didn’t fight for you. Just because you were gone didn’t change Gaia’s plans and she made that clear.
I will take whatever punishment you and the king decide. I deserve it. ”
I take in her words and realization dawns on me.
Just because Nova is gone…
How could we have missed this? I know why the storms are starting back up in Varethriel.