Chapter eighteen
I’d been dancing withEmilio for nearly an hour when I excused myself to go to the ladies to freshen up. I’d worked up quite a sweat with all our dancing and laughing. And there had been a lot of laughing. Emilio was so laid-back and fun.
I walked into the restroom and as I opened the door, I came face to face with Nathan’s brunette.
The woman smirked slightly at the sight of me. “Hi. Rose, isn’t it? I’m Sonja, Nathan’s date,” she remarked in a voice that dripped of insincere politeness.
I simply nodded. I didn’t want to have a conversation with the woman, but Sonja obviously wanted to talk to me.
“I hope you know that Nathan just uses women for sex. He’ll never be interested in having a relationship with you,” Sonja taunted, clearly enjoying herself. “I wouldn’t waste my time even thinking about it. You’re not his type anyway.”
I felt myself getting angry. This woman didn’t even know me! “I don’t see what my relationship with Nathan has to do with you.”
Sonja shrugged one overly tanned shoulder. “I just wanted to warn you that there is no relationship between the two of you.”
“What would you know? You’re just one of his on-call’s,” I bit out, my anger rising. I was a little surprised at how angry I had become.
“Firstly, he’s my on-call fuck, and secondly, I know that Nathan left you alone in his bed one night and came to be with me in my bed because you couldn’t give him what he wanted,” she remarked, the smugness showing all over her face.
I felt myself recoil. It felt like the woman had slapped me. So that’s where Nathan went the night he found out I was a virgin. I’d convinced myself that he must of went and slept in his office that night. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he really went and had sex with another woman. But I knew it must be true. How else would this person know what had happened that night between us?
“I was the one that didn’t want him,” I shrugged, struggling to hold it together. “If you want my leftover”s, that’s fine by me,” I continued airily, not wanting Sonja to see how much her words had hurt me.
It was Sonja’s turn to show her anger. “Nathan told me that you want to marry him and that he was just using you for sex, that you tried to push him into commitment. Just accept the fact that he doesn’t want you and move on, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Well, you should do the same,” said Violet, walking in behind me. “It looks to me like you’re the one dating a man that doesn’t want you for anything more than sex. Rose has moved on already.”
Sonja looked at the two of us and I could see that she decided against arguing with the both of us. She pushed past and stormed out of the bathroom.
“What was that all about? You looked like you wanted to claw her eyes out,” Violet asked, pulling me over to the side of the restroom where a few chairs were set up in front of a long table lined with a full-length mirror.
“I don’t know, she just came up to me and started saying all these things about Nathan just using me for sex and how he told her that he didn’t want a relationship with me. She even said that she slept with Nathan while he and I were together,” I said, my misery no doubt showing in my voice. “I really wanted to forget about Nathan and have fun tonight.”
Violet wrapped an arm around me. “You were having fun before this, right?” I nodded. “So, let’s just forget about this crazy woman’s ranting and enjoy ourselves. Nathan is a waste of your time.”
I sighed and stood up. “You’re right, let’s go back out there and dance with those two good-looking men.”
Violet and I walked out of the restroom and joined back up with Zayden and Emilio. I was enjoying myself in Emilio’s company and we danced nonstop for over an hour, until an announcement came over that dinner was being served. None of the tables were allocated, so people were free to sit wherever they wanted. Each table sat eight people, so me, Emilio, Violet, and Zayden chose to sit down at an empty table. An older man and his wife came and sat down beside me.
“Do you mind if we sit here? I have two more friends coming,” the man asked.
“Of course not, go right ahead,” I smiled. I saw the man wave to someone across the room and then Nathan and Sonja walked over to the table.
“Nathan, I got you a seat. Come sit, catch up with Frances and I,” the man called.
Nathan looked at the man, then at me. He sat down in the chair right opposite me. “Thank you, Nigel. I thought we were going to have to sit out in the kitchen.”
I thought I heard Violet mumble, ‘where you belong’ but decided to let it go, not wanting to cause a scene.
“Hi, I’m Zayden. This is Violet, Emilio, and Rose,” introduced Zayden as he reached over to shake Nathan and Nigel’s hands.
“I’m Nigel, this is my wife Frances, my godson Nathan and sorry miss, what was your name?” Nigel asked, looking at Sonja.
She frowned, obviously not liking that she had been forgotten. “Sonja,” she remarked dryly.
“Sonja, of course,” Nigel smiled and he glanced at me. “The old minds not what it used to be.”
I smiled. “I’m sure you can still remember the important stuff.”
Sonja shot me a dark look and leaned closer to Nathan in what I guessed was an attempt to make me jealous. “Nathan, darling, would you please get me a glass of champagne? I’m so thirsty.”
“Sure. Would anyone else like a drink?” Nathan asked as he stood up. Everyone at the table nodded.
“I’ll come with you,” offered Violet as she jumped to her feet. “You won’t be able to carry all those back by yourself.”
Violet and Nathan walked off towards the bar set up in the corner of the room. I knew that he was going to cop an ear-full as soon as the two of them were out of hearing range.
When Violet and Nathan walked back to the table carrying a tray of drinks both of them had deep frowns on their face’s and I had no doubt that my sister had just had a go at Nathan, most likely for Sonja’s petty little discussion in the bathroom.
“Nathan, would you believe, Rose and I were just talking and I dated her mother back in high school. Small world, isn’t it?” Nigel asked smiling.
Nathan smiled back, but it seemed forced. “Very small world.”
“Of course, that was before I met my Frannie. Happiest day of my life the day I got married.” Nigel turned and winked at me. “I can’t describe the feeling of seeing your loved one walking down the aisle towards you, just magic.” He glanced at Nathan and raised an eyebrow slightly. “Nathan here is the closest thing I have to a son. We have four daughters. I don’t think I’ll live long enough to see him happily married.”
“Marriage isn’t for everyone, Nigel,” Nathan shrugged. “Half of all marriages end in divorce.”
“And the other half doesn’t. I think that a fifty percent chance is worth giving it a go,” I challenged, looking Nathan right in the eye.
“Marriage is a costly waste of time. A certificate does not make a relationship anymore special,” Sonja remarked dryly, clearly sharing Nathan’s point of view.
“Hopeless romantics these two, hey?” Nigel laughed, shaking his head at Nathan and Sonja. “They will see one day.”
“Maybe some people just don’t deserve that kind of happiness,” Violet declared, shooting a dark look at Nathan across the table.
“Geez, they’re harsh words, Violet,” Zayden laughed, breaking the tension he and Emilio didn’t know was there. “I love how you’re not afraid to say what’s on your mind.”
Violet lifted her glass and clinked it with Zayden’s. “Here’s to saying what’s on your mind. I wish everyone was more like me!”
The conversation during the rest of dinner was pleasant. Nathan didn’t say much and I tried to forget he was even there. It was hard though, because Nathan wouldn’t stop glancing at me. Sonja noticed Nathan as well and shot me dark looks from across the table. When Emilio put his hand out and took mine in his, I watched as a deep frown creased Nathan’s forehead. If looks could kill.
Dinner ended and the music started playing again. Violet and Zayden got up to dance and Sonja excused herself to go and talk to some people she knew from her equestrian club.
“Rose, I’ve just spotted some mates of mine from work. Will you be right if I go and have a quick word with them?” Emilio asked.
“Sure, take your time,” I smiled. “I haven’t finished all my dessert.” He stood up, throwing me a smile, and walked across the room and out of sight.
“Oh my darling, do you remember this song?” Fran asked, looking lovingly at her husband.
“I sure do, it’s our wedding song. Let’s dance.” Nigel stood up and helped his wife to her feet. “You two should come and dance as well, it would be a shame to let such a beautiful song go to waste,” Nigel smiled cheekily at me and Nathan, like he knew an inside secret, and led his wife out to the dance floor.
Nathan rose from his seat and walked around to me. He held his hand out and looked at me expectantly. “He’s right, it is a good song.”
I sighed and stood up, knowing Nathan wouldn’t give up until he got what he wanted. Plus, I was feeling way too tired to argue with him. “Fine, but only one dance.”
Nathan led me out to the floor and held me softly in a close waltz position. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held my hand in his larger one as he swayed to the music.
I breathed in his familiar scent, saddened by how much I’d missed him in the past week. I didn’t want to ever let him go, but I knew that this dance was not going to last forever and afterwards Nathan still wouldn’t want to be with me.
“I can’t do this, it’s too hard,” I whispered as I tried to pull away from him.
He wouldn’t let me go, instead he pulled me closer to him. “Don’t fight with me, angel. Just dance with me, one song.”
“Nathan I can’t...”
“I’m not going to let you go,” Nathan replied calmly, while never missing a step.
I looked up at him. “You already have let me go. Why should this situation be any different?”
Nathan smiled down at me and I could tell he wasn’t going to talk about this now. Not with so many people watching. “You look so beautiful tonight.”
I stared at him incredibly. “That’s your response?”
“Yes. I’m not going to get in an argument with you tonight. I’m just going to enjoy this dance.”
I decided against arguing further and just enjoyed being this close to Nathan again, even if it was just for a short time. I was tired, tired of arguing, tired of missing him. When the song ended Nathan still didn’t let me go.
“Songs over Nathan,” I whispered.
“I can still hear it,” he murmured softly in my ear.
“No, you can’t.” I took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself so I didn’t cry. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“I want you in my life, Rose. I miss you.”
“So? You had your chance and you let me go. I haven’t heard anything from you in over a week.” I saw Emilio across the room and I gave him a quick wave.
“I don’t like seeing you with him,” Nathan remarked, his tone arrogant as he pulled me closer.
“You shouldn’t talk considering the person you’re here with,” I bit out angrily. Nathan let me go from his life and he had no right to be jealous of anyone.
“She doesn’t mean anything to me and you know that,” he said calmly.
“Did I mean anything to you the night you left me in your bed alone so you could be with her?” I asked, looking up at him.
Nathan groaned. “Rose, we weren’t a couple. I did tell you where I was going.”
I realised he had a point, but his casualness about it angered me more. “You don’t care at all how much that hurts me, do you?”
He stopped dancing and looked down at me. “At the time I didn’t. You were my mistress. But now, I guess I do feel bad about it. I do care about you, Rose, and that’s one of the reasons why I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me now anyway! Besides, I’m a big girl, Nathan. I can decide what’s best for me.”
“Do you mind if I cut in?” Emilio asked, smiling at me as he stood beside us. I hadn’t even noticed him walking towards us.
Nathan pulled me closer in his possessive way. “We haven’t finished.”
I noted the surprised look on Emilio’s face. “Yes, we have, Nathan,” I said and I looked at him, pleading with my eyes. I’d had enough of arguing with him.
“Fine, but I want another dance before the night is over.” He let me go and walked back over to the table, where Sonja was sitting with a scowl on her face.
“Do you know him?” Emilio asked as he took me in his arms.
“Yes, we spent some time together. Feels like it was a lifetime ago now,” I said, forcing a smile so he couldn’t see how upset I was.
“That guy is Nathan Davenport? Is he The Nathan Davenport? The businessman?”
“Yes, the one and only,” I laughed.
“He’s a fearsome man. I’ve heard stories about his business dealings, he’s ruthless.”
“He’s not that bad out of work,” I smiled, knowing that his description of Nathan was not an exaggeration.
“I was a bit nervous about cutting in on him, but I figured you were worth dying for,” he joked as he spun me around.
Emilio and I danced for a while. I was really enjoying his company. It was the first time in a week that all my thoughts weren’t focused entirely on Nathan.
“I think it’s my turn to dance with Rose again,” Nathan announced as he came up beside us about half an hour later. I knew he’d been watching me the whole time I was dancing with Emilio.
Emilio shrugged and I noticed him stand up straighter so he was closer to Nathan’s height. “It’s up to Rose, not us.”
I simply nodded, unable to resist the chance of being that close to Nathan again. Nor did I want to cause a scene between the two men if I said no.
“I’ll go and get us some drinks.” Emilio smiled at me and walked off towards the bar.
“What are you doing, Nathan, coming back to dance with me? What about your date?” I asked as Nathan took me in his arms.
“She knew when she agreed to go out with me tonight that I am not interested in being with just one woman. Unless you agree to be my mistress again?”
“It doesn’t look like she’s happy about it,” I observed as I glanced at Sonja talking to another woman on the edge of the dance floor. She kept looking in our direction and frowning.
“I’m really not that concerned,” Nathan remarked dryly.
“Why do you want to dance with me, Nathan? You’ve got someone over there who I’m sure will bend over backwards to give you what you want without any complications, and I mean that literally, yet you still keep coming back to me.”
His smile was sexy and cheeky. “I’ve told you before that I find you irresistible.”
A feeling ran though me that I’d felt before, the same feeling I’d felt in Hawaii right before Nathan had pulled every item of clothing from my body. A feeling of absolute wanting. I tried to pull away from Nathan, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“I can’t keep doing this, Nathan. I’m so tired of feeling the way I do. Tonight was the first time since I moved back home that I was happy and I was able to forget about you and have some fun, but you keep dragging me back to you.”
“I want you in my life, Rose,” he murmured, his deep voice radiating though my whole body, tingling all my nerve endings.
“But it’s not enough for me. I want to be more than that, I...” I drifted off. I was about to tell him that I loved him, but stopped myself, feeling completely embarrassed. I never wanted to utter those words to Nathan knowing that he didn’t feel the same way about me.
“You what, Rose?” Nathan pressed as he reached up to run a finger down my cheek. I’d missed him touching my skin.
I knew Nathan knew what I was about to say to him and I’m sure he wanted to hear it, even though he wasn’t going to say it back to me. He wanted me devoted to him.
“Nothing, just forget about it.”
“Tell me,” Nathan’s voice came out low and husky.
I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. I wasn’t going to fall into Nathan’s trap. “No Nathan. Why are you doing this? You know what I was about to say. Do you need someone to stroke your ego? I can’t deal with this anymore.” I pulled myself free from Nathan’s grasp and ran out of the ballroom. I didn’t stop until I got outside to the sidewalk. I could feel myself close to tears and didn’t want Nathan to see me like that.
“Rose, wait,” Nathan called after me. He followed me out and found me sitting on a step by a water fountain.
“Go away, Nathan. Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I pleaded, my voice breaking. I was so close to tears.
“Please angel, just talk to me.” Nathan sat down beside me and lifted my face to look at him. “Please Rose, don’t push me away like this.”
I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “You’re the one pushing me away! I don’t want to do this anymore, Nathan. I can’t, it hurts too much.”
Nathan was breaking my heart and it upset me more than I could have ever imagine it would. I wanted him to hold me and touch me and be near me. I couldn’t control myself around him. I wanted him in every part of my life.
“I’m sorry, Rose, but I don’t want you out of my life. When I saw you with that other guy, I saw red. I wanted to beat the life out of him and demand that you stay away from him. I felt like I was being cheated on all over again. I know that’s crazy because we’re not together, but I just can’t let you go.”
“You don’t have to let me go, all you have to do is commit to me,” I reasoned.
“You know I can’t do that,” Nathan sighed as he ran his hand though his hair. I think he wanted to offer me more but he just couldn’t let go of the past. Whether it controlled his life or not.
“Well then, Nathan, I don’t want you in my life at all. You either don’t want me or you want to be my lover and my partner, there is no in-between. I do not want you in my life at all if you are just going to lead me on every time you see me. Go back inside to Sonja if you just want a physical relationship with someone. I’m not the one for you.”
“Do you love me, Rose?” Nathan asked quietly, his eyes seeking out mine. I can’t believe he still wanted me to say those words.
“Did you just listen to a word I said? Nathan, please stop doing this to me,” I begged. I could feel warm tears start to run down my face.
“Is everything all right out here, Rose?” Violet asked as she walked over to stand in front of me and Nathan. “Emilio and I have been looking everywhere for you.”
I quickly wiped the tears off my face. “Yes Violet, everything is fine. Nathan was just going back inside to his date.” I looked at Nathan and sighed. “It’s over, Nathan. Just move on. I’m sure you’ll forget about me in no time.” I stood up and walked away, leaving Nathan on the step alone.
“Are you alright? Did he do something to hurt you?” Violet asked once we were out of earshot.
“I’m fine. I just told him that I couldn’t go on like this with him. He either wanted me or he didn’t, no in-between.”
“Good, I’m glad. Now that he has made his choice once and for all, you need to move on and get on with your life. Trust me when I tell you that Nathan Davenport is not the sort of man who is going to be sitting around the house all week waiting for you to call him.”
I knew Violet was right, but I couldn’t handle hearing those words. I began to sob. Violet gathered me in her arms and let me cry it out of my system.
“I’m sorry Rose, I didn’t mean to be so insensitive. I just hate seeing you like this. When you’re upset, I’m upset too,” Violet insisted. “How about we go home? Everything is winding up inside anyway, just a bunch of drunk people dancing badly around the dance floor.” She smiled, “I’ll make you banana pancakes.”
I stopped crying as best I could and smiled at my sister. “Sure, but I want whipped cream too.”