Chapter Twenty-Eight
Eden went directly from the bedroom to his study, eschewing his usual morning conversation with Hattie. He was too unsteady to chat, too abuzz for tea.
All he could think about was Tha?s. It was like she’d made the sun rise over the horizon and illuminated perimeters of the world that hadn’t been visible in nighttime.
His skin was tight, his nipples ached, he felt fluttery behind his loins.
And he could not wait for Hattie to leave.
He fiddled with his papers, but reading about husbandry was hopeless when he felt like this, and reviewing finances was worse. The only thing he wanted to think about was the weight of a breast in his palm. How a woman tasted. How it would feel to be inside Tha?s.
He retrieved one of his erotic books and perused it for positions, wondering which ones Tha?s would start with. It made him so hard that he needed to touch himself right now.
He locked the door, hoping no one would hear the turning of the latch, and took out his cock. He worked it slowly, as Tha?s had done, pausing when desire threatened to overtake him, resuming when he’d caught his breath.
He lasted six glorious minutes.
Granted, he was far less aroused by his own touch than he was by Tha?s’s, but he was still satisfied that with practice at controlling himself, he’d be able to deflower his wife.
But that wasn’t, in this moment, what he cared about.
He didn’t want to imagine some faceless woman he had not met—some perfectly bred virgin with demure manners who’d defer to him on every matter. He wanted the crass, louche, defiant woman in this house, who was currently gabbing away with Hattie in the kitchen.
He wanted only Tha?s.
He was gratified when he heard her say goodbye to Hattie. He found her in the kitchen standing in front of a window, enjoying the warmth of the sun. She had a slight smile on her face, and the light gleamed off her hair. She looked like a goddess hewn in fire.
He walked behind her and put his arms around her, placing a long kiss on her neck.
She put her hands over his arms, letting him hold her.
“What are you looking at?” he asked her.
“There’s a pretty bird out there, on the rosebush by the trellis. See it? With the yellow on its breast?”
“I do. It’s a great tit.”
“A great tit! Are you the one making the bawdy jokes now?”
“No,” he said with grave seriousness. “That’s what the bird is called.”
She laughed. “Well, no wonder I like it.”
He moved his hands up to her breasts. “I like it too.”
She turned around, glowing with a smile. “Mind you don’t get too wicked with that mouth. You’ll have your wife sobbing to her mother she’s married a rake.”
“I think my mouth is incurably wicked after last night.”
“Well, let’s see what other parts of you we can make wicked.”
“All of them, given how I feel this morning.” He lowered his voice. “I had to satisfy myself once already, just thinking about what we’ll do next.”
He pressed against her. She reached down and rubbed his erection through his breeches.
“Look at you, becoming a lech.”
“Am I too wanton?”
“Not at all,” she said, stroking him. “I like you in rut.”
He removed her hand from his prick and kissed her knuckle.
“I like it too. But beyond the physical pleasure, I want you to know how grateful I am for what you’re teaching me.”
“Keep sweet-talking me like that and you’ll swell my head, when we’re here to swell your—”
“My cock. Yes. Very good. Though, right now, that’s not a problem. Let’s go to bed.”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
He walked behind her up the staircase, giving himself permission to enjoy the swaying of her arse. He’d lavished so much attention on her breasts that he’d let her magnificent hips and buttocks go without proper admiration.
He’d have to right that in the next two weeks.
Two weeks. What a blessing, to have such a length of time to spend with her. And what a fool he was for squandering that same amount of time out of fear. She’d been right to be salty with him for avoiding his lessons. He wished he could start over, relive that first day, when she’d offered to crawl under the desk.
But no. That wasn’t right.
Had they not spent so much time talking and pretending to court, he would not feel so at ease with her. So able to show her his foibles. To trust her.
He’d have to remember this lesson for when he married: giving oneself over to sex was a question of trust. This feeling of safety was something he needed to give his future wife.
In the bedroom, Tha?s pulled open one of the drawers she’d claimed and removed a jar of condoms. She held it up to him.
“You know what these are?”
“Yes. For disease.”
“We’ll use them. I don’t think I’m afflicted with anything—I’m very careful. But it’s good to guard yourself. And if you should take lovers who aren’t your wife, you should use these—”
“I would never do that,” he interrupted her. “Ever.”
He said it more sharply than he’d intended. The idea of it violated the ethics he strove to live by. He’d not make a vow to a woman and then break it. Which brought home the fact that once he was married, he’d never again be with Tha?s.
“I didn’t think you would,” she said appeasingly. “But I’m here to teach you, aren’t I?”
“Yes. You’re right. I’m sorry for interrupting. What else do I need to know?”
“Well, do you know how to put one on?”
“You slide it around your prick and tie the string? I’ve done it before, though of course it was years ago.”
“That’s right. I’ll help you practice.”
Normally sticking his prick in sheep innards would not be an arousing prospect. But Tha?s applying the sheath to him was strangely appealing. He loved the ministrations of her small, soft hands and nimble fingers.
“Is there anything else I need to know before we begin?” he asked her.
“Yes. This is very important. If you don’t want to make a woman pregnant, don’t spill in her.”
He was aware of this but had not considered the practical implications. A horrifying thought occurred to him.
“That might be difficult for me,” he said. “With us. Given I spill so easily.”
He did not want to make Tha?s pregnant. He could not leave her with a child to raise alone, nor hurt his future wife with the knowledge he had a baby outside their family.
Besides, after overhearing her conversation with Elinor about marriage, he highly doubted Tha?s wanted to be a mother.
“We’ll go slowly, to start, and you’ll do your best,” she said.
He was not sure what his best would solve if he accidentally spent before withdrawing. But there was no getting around it. In order to complete his education, he needed to become better versed in sex.
And if he did not get to make love with Tha?s, he might die of disappointment. He would just have to use what he’d learned this morning and take care to protect her from his seed.
“How should we start?” he asked.
“You want your lady to be wet and ready for you before you stick your cock in her. So you’ll want to bring her pleasure before you get aswiving.”
“Aswiving? What a pleasant concept.”
“Before you fuck her. Is that better?”
“It does have a vulgar ring to it.”
“I knew I was corrupting you.”
“I’m hopelessly despoiled.”
“Let’s not tell your wife until you know her better.”
“So you’re saying I need to seduce her,” he said, returning to the matter at hand.
“Yes.”
“And to do that I should...”
“Say nice things to her. Tell her how much you want her. Then you can practice your other lessons—kiss her, embrace her, caress her, tease her with your fingers and your mouth.”
In other words, do the things he’d longed to do all morning.
“Tha?s,” he said, “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.”
“There you go. That’s the kind of thing to say. Though, with your bride, you might not want to remind her you’ve had other women.”
“Ah. Right. Let me try again. Tha?s, you are the most alluring woman in the world. I’m honored that you’re mine.”
“Thank you, my lord,” she said, using her cultivated accent. “You’re rather handsome yourself.”
He stepped toward her, and she crossed her arms over her breasts and regarded him nervously.
“I’m frightened, dear husband. My mother told me this was painful.”
“I’ll be gentle with you, darling. I want you to enjoy our time in bed. I hope this will be the beginning of many pleasurable nights.”
“That’s good,” Tha?s said in her normal voice. “But you’ll want to reassure her. Take her into your arms and hold her.”
He stepped toward Tha?s and drew her close. She was stiff, rather than her usual pliant self.
“I’ll never hurt you, darling,” he whispered. “I love you.”
They both started at those words.
He was only playacting, of course.
The idea of falling in love with Tha?s was laughable. Gentlemen did not love their mistresses, no matter how infatuated they were with their charms. And even if they did, he couldn’t. It was antithetical to everything he wanted.
Still, when Tha?s said, “I love you too, my husband,” it was painful to hear those words and know that they weren’t true.
He didn’t like this. It was making him confused. He did not want to pretend he was buttering up a theoretical wife. He wanted this first time to be about the two of them.
“Tha?s,” he said, “let’s not pretend that I’m deflowering you. I’d rather practice the niceties of it later, once I’m better skilled.”
“As you wish,” she said in her normal voice. “Let’s get ourselves naked. You have a fine physique. Your lady will be pleased.”
Her words were like cold water on hot skin. She was not emotional or wistful. She had not forgotten she was here only because he’d paid her to be.
If he were wise, he’d get a hold of himself.
But he didn’t want to. He wanted the memory of this day to be about the two of them and no one else. And he wanted her to know that.
“I don’t want to talk of other ladies,” he said. “Today, the only one I want is you.”
At the sincerity in his voice, she stopped undressing.
She stepped toward him. “You know what, Alastair? I want you too.”
She gazed at his mouth, biting her lip—the signal, he knew, to kiss her.
He put his lips to hers. Softly, he finished undressing her, kissing the bare skin he uncovered.
“How is this?” he asked. “Do you like it?”
“It’s lovely,” she said. “You’re lovely.”
“Can I touch you between your legs?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
He lifted her onto the bed, and she spread herself for him. He put his fingers to her pearl the way she’d taught him.
“This is all right?” he asked. “You like it?”
“You’re doing wonderful. Keep going.”
He went a little faster. He kept his gaze trained on her face, hoping to read her expression for clues. She sighed, relaxing deep into the mattress.
He spread his fingers into the wetness at her slit and groaned. It was intoxicating, the evidence of a woman’s arousal. Knowing he had caused it.
She whimpered as he explored her. He wanted more of that. He loved her sounds.
“Would you like it if I put my mouth on you?” he asked.
“Yes,” she murmured.
He bent his head and kissed her lavishly, using the techniques she’d taught him and trying a few others that he sensed might please her. She wriggled beneath him in a way that drove him mad.
“I’m ready for your cock,” she gasped out, putting a hand on his head to stop him.
“You haven’t reached your peak yet,” he objected.
“There’s more than one way to do that. It’s enjoyable to have a man inside you, if he knows what he’s doing.”
He did not know what he was doing, in point of fact, and he wanted to ensure she was not dissatisfied. He wanted her to thrash wantonly around, the way she had the first time he’d kissed between her legs.
“Let me bring you to pleasure,” he said. “I want to.”
“Go right ahead, then. You’re doing very well.”
He buried his face exuberantly in her folds until her hips bucked and she spasmed and he knew he’d given her what she needed.
It made him deeply contented. He could do that to her all day.
“I want more of you,” she said.
“Me too.”
“Are you ready to fuck me?”
“Yes.”
She took his prick in her hand. It jumped at her touch.
“There are many ways to do this,” she said. “But let’s start with the simplest. You on top of me. Aye?”
“Yes,” he agreed. This is how he’d bedded his other women, so he’d at least know the basic motions.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. “But I’m nervous. I don’t want to spend inside you.”
“Go slowly. Stop when you need to. Pull out when you feel it coming. You’ll be fine.”
He wanted to be a lot better than fine.
She parted her legs and guided him inside her. The walls of her pussy wrapped around him, tight and wet and hot. He felt like a virgin on his wedding night. He had to withdraw so he wouldn’t faint.
“So good,” Tha?s murmured. “Now, take a deeper thrust, when you’re ready. See how it feels.”
He slid into her and paused there, reeling.
Heaven on earth.
Impossible not to do it again and again.
He felt pressure building in his ears, and his vision blurred. He stopped, his cock throbbing and pulsing inside her, and caught his breath.
“I love this,” he said. “Being joined with you.”
“Oh, I know. I know. I want you deeper.”
She shifted underneath him, and he knew that he was done for. His hips moved of their own volition, driving out and in, and it took everything he had to rip himself out of her, just in time.
He came into the condom.
But he wished, as the orgasm ripped through him, that he was still in her body.
Tearing himself away was the hardest thing he’d ever done.