Chapter 5 #2
She did not regret her refusal. She believed Darcy’s claim of ardent love to be a momentary fancy that would soon be overcome by other feelings.
Even if her opinion or feelings towards him were favourable, he was the man who had ruined Jane’s happiness.
She could never forgive or forget that. She had justified her reasons to despise him and thrown his proposal back in his face.
But those reasons—most of them—had proven to be wrong, based on her prejudice and resentment for his apparently arrogant manners and selfishness. Her error of judgement she did regret.
And there she was—facing another proposal—the third.
One in which nobody spoke of feelings. In front of her was a man whose character she could not sketch, as she had no evidence, nor sufficient accounts for an accurate drawing.
But then again—should she trust her own reasoning in understanding men?
Could she even dare assume that—under the present circumstances—she had a choice?
Since a third proposal—from a man with a situation in life far above her own—should be considered an extraordinary and almost unbelievable happenstance, was there more than a single answer?
Would a third refusal be anything else but selfish, disrespectful neglect of her family, a condemning of her mother and sisters to poverty and misery?
“Miss Bennet, I do not expect an immediate answer. Please consider my words thoroughly. Search for advice within your family and I will return tomorrow. If you refuse my offer, I will be silenced on this subject forever. If you agree, I may obtain a special licence and we can be married in five days. The sooner you become my wife, the sooner your family will be sheltered and Lady Sedgewick will have her desired closure. It all depends on you.”
An hour later, the Gardiners returned. Elizabeth remained in a tumult that she had never experienced before, not even in Kent.
She had been given the power of deciding her family’s future.
She was torn between a sense of panic and one of relief.
She could be the means of their salvation or of their fall.
With a sister ill, her father dying, her uncle struggling with his business affairs, her aunt at the edge of her sanity and her mother and other sisters oblivious to the tragedy but condemned to be part of it, everything depended on her. Just as Lord Barrington had stated.
Surrounded by an emotional storm, she had no other path towards tranquillity except for the narrow one offered by Lord Barrington. She could not see the end of it, nor estimate how difficult the journey would be, but she was compelled to follow it.
∞∞∞
The next morning, after brief visits to her father and sister, Elizabeth confessed her struggle to her aunt and uncle.
“I have news to share with you...It concerns us all and I dearly need your advice.” A pounding headache was making her nauseous and she could barely keep her eyes open from exhaustion and turmoil.
The Gardiners watched her closely and were worried. She had not left the house in the last few days and they were puzzled by what news she could possibly mean.
“Lord Barrington offered his support for our family, to help us overcome these difficult times. He asked for my hand in marriage.”
“What???” Mr. Gardiner shouted.
“I was as shocked as you are, but such a happenstance would save our family and secure all our futures.”
The Gardiners stared at her, dumbfounded, shaking their heads in disapproval.
“I confess I suspected Lord Barrington had a peculiar admiration for Jane. I am certain Jane has no tender feelings for him and I do not fear his proposing to me might upset her. He expressed himself with respect and wisdom. He needs a wife to comply with his duties. Someone to gain Lady Sedgewick’s approval and to prove capable of carrying on the responsibilities attached to the position. ”
“Lizzy, I strongly believe any discussion about marriage is ridiculous!” Mrs. Gardiner interjected, in a growing state of perturbation. “You barely know each other! I never suspected any partiality on either side! I cannot even remember any meaningful conversation between you.”
“I do not deny that. And neither would Lord Barrington. I do appreciate his honesty. He did not proclaim any false affection. He offered me a secure future for our family, in exchange for my companionship and my commitment to carrying out his family’s requests.”
“But Lizzy, why so soon? And why would he propose to you, someone with no connection to him and so far outside his circle? Could he not find a lady from his acquaintances?” Mr. Gardiner enquired, worried.
Memories invaded her again. All the causes of repugnance from Darcy’s speech, all the objections that ‘required the utmost force of passion to put aside’—as he had written in his letter—echoed in her mind.
Surely they were as much an evil for Lord Barrington as they had been for Darcy—even more so since the earl was a titled man.
Except that he had never met her mother and younger sisters and so had no reason to disapprove of their behaviour.
The marital arrangement he suggested appeared to have other benefits for him, that surpassed want of decorum.
Also, Lord Barrington was—presumably—far from observing all the rules of propriety himself—and he was not ashamed to admit it.
“I have no answers to these questions, Uncle. As he already mentioned to us several times, he is expected to marry a gentleman’s daughter, willing to take over Lady Sedgewick’s charities, an honourable and educated woman, acceptable to London’s society.
However, I dare say he would prefer a wife who was willing to work hard, instead of a spoiled, rich heiress that would likely be bored and tired by any daunting task. ”
The Gardiners glanced at each other, sharing their disbelief.
“Lizzy, I cannot believe we are even considering such a choice,” Mr. Gardiner said.
“How could we not, Uncle? Let us be honest—only days ago we were devastated with grief for Papa and worry for our future. Our family could face the darkest tragedy at any moment. I would give anything to see Papa healthy and I would gladly take his suffering upon myself. But I cannot do that. However, I can provide a little palliation and comfort to my mother and sisters.”
“But Lizzy, you have always dreamed of marrying for love,” Mrs. Gardiner said. “And I know you were very fond of Mr. Wickham and...”