Chapter 19
The following day, less than a week after she had become a widow, Lady Barrington moved into the Sedgewick townhouse, together with Sarah and Cece. Bingley and Jane accompanied them to help them settle in. Darcy offered his assistance but discreetly chose to not impose his presence.
Both he and Elizabeth were aware that those brief, yet memorable moments of complete openness and genuine honesty they had shared would not be repeated soon—if ever.
Their relationship—although powerful, deep and trusting—was unusual and too tormenting to be so soon examined.
In only a few days, they had become as close as two friends could be.
The separation would put some distance between them, although Darcy—due to the support and help he had promised Elizabeth—was expected to be around very often.
For the time being, however, he was not there and Elizabeth already felt his loss.
Although it had been her own decision, Elizabeth entered the house with reluctance and a heavy heart.
The housekeeper welcomed them warmly; they were expected, and everything was arranged as Elizabeth had requested. She occupied the master suite—which had been unused for several years. Sarah was offered a chamber near Elizabeth, while Cece returned to her old room.
Sarah, the former maid who had borne the nightmare of the abuse together with Elizabeth, was slowly improving in health, but she struggled to adjust to all the unexpected changes she was exposed to.
Born into a family that had faced difficulties every single day and working as a servant from a very young age, she felt unworthy of such comfort.
The mistress’s care and the attention she had received in the last week was beyond her imagination.
Having her own chamber—large and elegant—aroused new opposition and expressions of gratitude which were eventually calmed by Elizabeth’s kindness.
However, despite her appearance of composure and determination, Lady Barrington felt no less distressed by her new position than Sarah.
Several months ago, the former Miss Bennet would have admired the classy elegance of the house, very likely compared it mockingly with the grandiose Rosings Park and would have hurried to examine the library.
Now, with a fear of strangers and unknown places and with her self-confidence rattled, Elizabeth’s wit and liveliness had vanished.
In the solitude of the impressive apartment, panic seized her.
She looked around anxiously, and the first thing she unconsciously checked, was if the door could be locked.
She realised she was being silly. She had every reason to be content and at peace. She had overcome obstacles, terror and danger, and had finally regained control over her life. And still, she could not move, nor breathe, only stand frozen with chills running up and down her spine.
She could not remember ever being scared of anything until she married.
Yet in only a few months, she had become so accustomed to fear that she could still not escape from it.
She had learned to control the sensation while she was in Darcy's house, but it returned suddenly, as strong as before, when she found herself alone again.
Alone, although in a house filled with people who were all at her disposal.
Moving from the barely-found comfort and safety of Darcy’s house, to a new and scarcely-known place, brought back fright and panic.
Darcy’s presence had been her anchor. His home, her shelter.
For a short while, she had felt protected.
Now, she had to be alert again. Guarded.
Careful. She could trust no stranger, even those who were her employees.
“Lizzy?” she heard Jane’s sweet voice.
“Yes, dear?”
“Lizzy, this house is exquisite! Stunning! I have only seen a small part of it, and yet I keep admiring it like a silly girl. It is as beautiful as Mr. Darcy’s house—though even larger and I would say more intimidating! I cannot believe that it is yours now.”
“Yes, it is beautiful. Jane, would you and Charles consider moving in with me, at least for a few weeks? I realise it would be terribly inconvenient, especially since you are newly married and I have already ruined your peace and comfort. You may choose any rooms you like, so you may have your privacy. And Charles’s house is not very far from here, and Mr. Darcy’s is also near.
I would ask our uncle and aunt, but they must accommodate the children and Uncle’s business and... ”
Her speech became more and more perturbed and fretful as she tried to persuade Jane. Her sister grasped her arm and interrupted her.
“Lizzy...Lizzy! Of course, we would! We would be happy to. You must not worry—we will not leave you alone again. Charles and I, Uncle and Aunt, Mama and Papa, Lydia, Kitty and Mary—we will all be at your side.”
Elizabeth embraced her sister tightly.
“Jane, I do not wish for our family to know. I did write to Papa twice, and Aunt Gardiner wrote to Mama. And I am sure the reports have long reached Hertfordshire. But I will stay away from them until my scars are completely healed. I am sure Papa imagines the worst, but I must protect him from the whole truth. I will visit them soon and I will invite them to London when I am well enough. You must promise you will keep the secret.”
Jane caressed her hair and kissed her forehead.
“You must not doubt me, Lizzy, nor Charles or Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. Everything will be done as you wish.”
“Thank you.”
“I did not even mention Mr. Darcy. I can see you confide in him. I must admit my consternation—I was unaware you were such close friends. You must have improved your acquaintance in Kent, as I cannot think of another time.”
“We were not friends before he came to rescue me. I misjudged and offended him most abominably while we were in Kent. And yet, his superior character and generous nature induced him to share the blame with me and to forgive me. What he has done for me, considering our past misunderstandings, is beyond words and beyond gratitude.”
“I cannot deny that, Lizzy. I noticed the improvement in Mr. Darcy’s manners the day I met him again, two months ago.
However, his involvement in your situation proves the goodness of his heart.
This cannot be changed so easily. I am sure in essentials he always has been the same excellent gentleman.
I am glad you have cleared up your past disagreements. ”
“We have. I confess I felt protected and safe in his house. I am fortunate to have his friendship and loyalty. And your love, of course,” she concluded, embracing her sister.
“Dearest Lizzy...” Jane whispered, embracing her again. “Oh, forgive me, I forgot about your bruises. Did I hurt you?”
“No, my dear. Your affection is the best palliation. Now let us go downstairs. Please talk to Charles about moving here and I must speak to Cece and Mrs. Gilford. There are so many things to be done, that I cannot imagine where to start.”
∞∞∞
For the rest of the day, the house was filled with disruption and noise.
The Bingleys chose two rooms in the secluded guest wing and went to Grosvenor Street to fetch their belongings for a longer stay.
Together with Cece and the housekeeper, Elizabeth met the entire staff. With the servants from the Barringtons’ properties appearing all of a sudden, there was much uncertainty and concern among the servants, with everyone worrying about their own position.
Elizabeth noticed the young maid from the Barrington townhouse—Libby—that she had found crying in pain during the first days of her marriage. It had been the first warning of the nightmare that would follow and she had failed to heed it.
She decided to speak to the girl privately after she had addressed the group.
“I assure you that nobody will be abandoned. We need a few days to examine the properties and the best way to manage them. Then we will find the best option for each of you, I promise you. Until then, let us try to stay calm and accustom ourselves to these new circumstances. These last months have been trying and painful for everyone. From now on, everybody will be safe. This I promise you.”
A whispered “thank you” ran through the large gathering.
“Also, if you know people who were forced to leave the Barrington houses but still need employment, please encourage them to address me with no reserve. As I said, nobody will be abandoned.”
Another murmur of astonishment followed that proof of generosity. Incredulous stares fixed on her, wondering if they could truly count on her apparent kindness.
“Please ask me if you have any more questions,” Elizabeth encouraged them.
“Lady Barrington?”
“Yes?”
“Is Sarah well?” one of the maids asked.
“Yes. She is upstairs—you may visit her if you wish. She still needs to rest before she leaves her bed.”
“Lady Barrington?”
“Yes?” It was Libby who had enquired in a low, tentative voice.
“Is it true that you are now the mistress? Can Lady Augusta not take us back?”
Elizabeth understood their distrust only too well.
When one had escaped from an inferno, their biggest fear would be to be dragged back in.
She knew little of the ordeal they had suffered but she could imagine.
Each of them had been in those houses, exposed to evil and cruelty, much longer than she had.
She put on a warm smile as she answered.
“I understand your concern and I am glad you have shared it with me. Nobody will take you away against your will. You must not worry about anything, except performing your daily tasks. I will take care of everything else. Is there anything else?”
“Lady Barrington?”
“Yes?”
“Is your ladyship feeling well?” The last question sounded timid and genuine. Tears glistened in Elizabeth’s eyes.
“I am well now. We all are!”
“We are exceedingly happy to have you and Miss Cece here, Lady Barrington!” Mrs. Gilford declared with excitement, supported by a general murmur of approval.
“It is good to be home and to have Lady Barrington here,” Cece whispered in reply.