Chapter 5
Glow
For the life of me, I couldn’t understand how I was in the most comfortable spot in the house, but I was still somehow uncomfortable.
With my eyes closed, I’d been tossing and turning for the last few hours.
It wasn’t because I was restless. No, I’d been resting just fine for the last few days.
It was the call I ignored from my mama, and then the text she sent right after that unnerved me.
Every limb in my body ached, and the thought of continuing to lie in bed made me sick to my stomach.
Just thinking the word “sick” made me sit up, my back popping due to the sudden movement.
Swinging my legs over the side of my bed, I nearly fell from the tangled sheets as I ran to the bathroom.
Hitting the light on the wall so that I could see, I fell to my knees, face in the toilet, and released.
Bwaaaaaaaahh!
Gripping the sides of the commode, my knees throbbed against the cold tile flooring. I’d shed my clothes a day or so ago, so I was in a tank top and panties. Now, on the cool floor, I was regretting not having anything on. Sucking in air, my face was back inside the toilet before I could exhale.
Bwaaaaaahhhhh!
Tears burned my eyes as the vomit violently ejected from my body.
Glee.
Bwaaaah! Bwaaaah!
A baby.
Bwahhhh!
Marriage.
Bwaaahhh!
Every time a thought came to mind, puke followed.
When nothing else came out, I flushed the toilet, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and stood on shaky legs.
Gripping the vanity, I squinted with disgust and tried not to jump out of my skin as I stared back at my reflection.
My skin was pale, my lips were dry and cracked, and the extensions on my head needed shampooing , deep conditioning, and some styling.
I licked my lips for a quick fix, noticing the bags under my eyes even though I’d slept enough to last me a week.
I was so frail that just standing hurt, and my arms felt as if I’d been doing pull-ups.
The plus side to looking like death was that I felt lighter.
A smile spread across my brittle lips before the internal disgust reared its head.
Ignoring that feeling of disappointment, I turned around and grabbed the knob of the shower, placing the handle exactly where I knew the temperature would be just right for my shower.
While waiting for the water to warm, I peeled my clothing off my weakened body.
When my underwear hit the floor, my lip curled at the sight of the crusty discharge in the seat.
No pungent smell hit me, letting me know my girl was appropriately self-cleaning during my hibernation.
After tossing my clothes in the hamper, I ventured to the wall where my best friend and worst enemy were.
Stepping onto the cold glass, I backed off as the numbers appeared, waking the device.
Holding my breath and then exhaling so that I wouldn’t add any extra ounces, I stepped onto the scale.
The numbers were calculated for a few seconds until settling on the final ones.
My smile broadened, and only then could I feel a split in my cracked lips, which I knew produced blood.
One hundred and fifteen pounds. In three days, I’d lost seven pounds.
Now, with more pep in my step, even in my weakened state, I stepped into the shower and grabbed my exfoliating gloves.
Once they were lathered in antibacterial soap, I scrubbed my body from neck to foot, excluding my intimate parts.
I repeated the wash twice, and by the time I removed the gloves and grabbed my loofah to add the Dove Sensitive Skin Body Wash, steam was floating around me.
The antibacterial soap left me feeling squeaky clean, but it stripped all the natural oils from my skin.
Many forgot the importance of replenishing your skin’s natural microbiome, and that’s why Dove was needed in the soap market.
Once I felt good about cleansing and moisturizing, I grabbed the gentle terry cloth and feminine wash to clean my girl down below.
It had taken me years to figure out what worked for my body.
Thankfully, the internet and brand deals had come along, making it easier for me to discover new products.
From the amount I received for free alone, I was able to find a lineup that worked for me.
Bacterial vaginosis wasn’t fun, and I’d gone through a phase where it seemed like it would never disappear.
With my shower finished, I tied a robe around my waist and started on my oral hygiene.
Instead of the two minutes required to brush, I did it for five.
Tongue scraping, flossing, and mouthwash followed, then it was time for my skincare routine.
Luckily, no pimples had appeared during my slumber, but my facial skin was extremely dehydrated, just like my body.
By the time I was done, it felt like I’d been at a five-star spa thanks to the products and my regimen.
The thirty minutes I’d taken to care for my skin were too long, and once I started feeling lightheaded, I left the bathroom still wearing the final mask.
It had to sit on my face for another fifteen minutes anyway.
Grabbing a cracker from my nightstand, I nearly swallowed it whole and then ate another.
There were six empty bottles of water on my dresser, with the seventh half full.
I grabbed it and gulped it down before adding it to its empty friends.
The next thing to tackle was the bed. My hair was still a mess, but it needed professional care, so that would be a problem for another day.
Going into my closet, I grabbed fresh linen and redressed my bed and pillows.
The dirty linen couldn’t fit into my hamper since I’d changed the comforter as well, so I left it in a pile on the side of my bed until I was ready to wash it later.
Sitting on the cool, crisp sheets with my back against the headboard, I began to close my eyes when my phone vibrated on the nightstand.
Seeing that it was a Ring camera notification, I picked up the phone.
When I saw it was just Glee getting a delivery, I locked my phone screen and tossed it on the bed.
I had over a hundred messages in the group chat with the mob wives, and I felt terrible about ignoring them.
Mr. Joe, our neighbor who lived across from us, also called.
Jisei had called me twice, and I knew that if I didn’t return her call soon, she would be popping up.
Though she lived in a mansion with her husband, she still owned her townhome next door, and Mr. Joe would also emerge if I didn’t show my face soon.
I was actually surprised he hadn’t walked across the lawn by now.
I made a mental note to call her and Mr. Joe back today because I didn’t want to alarm anyone with my hiatus.
Along with the unopened messages, I had hundreds of social media notifications and an overwhelming number of emails to go through.
I’d received so many inquiries from management firms, and initially, the idea of giving a percentage of my earnings to a firm seemed diabolical.
I was now considering listening to some of their offers.
Management could mean more opportunities, and my workload would ease with a team handling the backend conversations.
I had been handling everything myself and paying my contractual attorneys to review all my contracts.
On the days when I just wanted to shut the world out—something I hadn’t done in a very long time—management might have been either a blessing or a curse.
Shaking off business thoughts from my mind, I pulled up the face mask that felt like it was beginning to slide.
Knock Knock
I bit down on my molars as the doorknob turned.
It had been three days since Tunan had come over, and even with the mortgage payment handed over and his version of putting me in my place done, the situation between us hadn’t changed.
The dick was good, but no amount of orgasms could change how I felt.
Still, it was time to face the music because I was acting like a teenager by hiding out in my bedroom and spiraling over everything.
Glee peeked in with skepticism on her face.
Her thick hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail, and although her face was clear of blemishes, her nose was wide, and her lips looked larger than usual.
I knew both were from the baby weight she’d gained without it being overly obvious.
As I looked at my baby sister, I couldn’t believe I’d missed the signs.
She’d been at my house for a few days, and I hadn’t even realized she was pregnant.
I was so caught up in Tunan that I missed her cry for help, and before him, I had been distracted by my influencer grind.
A sob escaped from my lips, and Glee hurried inside.
She set a bag on the nightstand and sat on the bed, wrapping her arms around me.
“Gleeeee… I’m so fucking mad at you!” I cried harder and louder.
Tunan was right about one thing: once I’d calmed down, I would be so ashamed of my behavior.
All I ever wanted for my little sister was the best of everything.
If I had known she wouldn’t make it through her first semester without getting pregnant, I would have chosen for her to stay home or stay with me to attend Jagoda Bay University.
But JBU wasn’t an HBCU, and Blake University had been Glee’s dream.
I didn’t understand what she saw in the small town that I thought was boring.
That was one thing I’d been right about because Calista Glee had resorted to screwing at Blake after leaving so focused and ready to start her journey to medical school.
“I know. I know, sis. I’m mad at myself,” she mumbled.
“You are… so… youuung, Glee. You’re so young! I didn’t want this for you! I don’t even want it for myself.”