Chapter 28
twenty-eight
The door swung open. Cold December air hit my face and the back of my neck, sharp and bracing, carrying the scent of wet leaves and the faint exhaust of cars outside. Laughter spilled in behind it, loud and immediate, spilling over the threshold like sunlight over pavement.
“Happy birthday!”
Some of our cousins stepped inside, arms full of crinkling gift bags, bows bouncing against each other.
Someone handed me a box wrapped in metallic gold paper.
My fingers brushed the smooth surface, cool against the warmth of my skin.
I mumbled a thanks, hugged it close, pressed it against my chest, and felt the scratch of wool coats brushing my cheek.
The heat and motion swirled around me, but my eyes flicked toward the door, expecting it to open again any second.
The door shut. I stared at it. Just for a moment.
Then the doorbell rang again and it happened a second time. And another. And another.
The entryway began filling with boots, kicked off in messy piles.
The smell of perfume and cologne tangled with the warm vanilla of frosting drifting from the kitchen, and it hit my chest like a tide of too much, too fast. Music hummed softly from the speakers, people yelled over it, friends and family came up to wish me a happy birthday.
“You look stunning,” someone said, bright and cheerful, maybe sensing I wasn’t fully present.
“I love that lipstick.”
“That dress is insane on you.”
I forced myself to inhale slowly, pressing a hand to my chest to steady it. Dad’s not coming this early, don’t get ahead of yourself, I told myself, but the tightening in my chest didn’t ease.
Laughter swelled. Sebastian yelled from somewhere near the snack table, loud and ridiculous.
Ainsley spun in the center of a group, arms flailing, bright and effortless.
Everyone else was absorbed in chatter and movement, unaware of the coil of tension tightening inside me.
Every time the door opened, I looked to see if it was Dad. It never was.
By the time the house was full, the air had thickened. The warmth of bodies pressed against me in waves. Fog of breath and perfume clung to the corners of the windows. Fairy lights blurred in my vision when I blinked for too long.
Forty-five minutes in, I walked into the basement to get a case of sodas from the storage room but stopped in surprise when I saw Nora sitting in Sebastian’s room, which was across from it.
Nora had lived next door since before we moved here and we were in the same grade at school, but despite the factors that should have pushed us together, we’d never really gotten to know each other before she started dating my brother three months ago.
I liked her—especially compared to his ex—but I still wasn’t used to her just hanging around our house as much as she did.
“Hey,” I said. Her head jerked up in surprise. “Not in a party mood?”
She smiled sheepishly. “I’m just a little tired and don’t know anyone, so I thought I’d…” She gestured vaguely.
I grinned. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”
I turned back toward the storage room but heard Nora shift behind me.
“Hey, Imogen?” she asked. When I looked back, she was sitting up and looked slightly concerned. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Sounds ominous,” I said, cracking a smile.
When she didn’t even try to smile back, my stomach twisted with nerves, although I had no idea what Nora could say to me that would be that bad.
The only thing I could imagine was if she was going to tell me she was breaking up with Sebastian, but I didn’t see that happening.
Besides the fact that I was most definitely not the person she would be confiding in about that, the two of them were sickeningly in love.
I stepped inside my brother’s room, carefully avoiding stepping on the sweater he’d left on the carpet in front of the door, and came to sit on his bed across from her. Something about the way she was looking at me gave me the feeling that this was a sitting down chat.
Nora was fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, eyes darting away from mine before flicking back. She cleared her throat. “So, um, I’m not sure if you know, but I got my learner’s permit a few weeks ago.”
“Okay,” I said when she paused. I had no idea where this was going or what it had to do with me, but I forced myself to stay still and not mirror her fidgeting, since that was sure to make her more nervous.
She cleared her throat. “And I’ve been taking driving lessons, which obviously take me around a lot of the city.” Her voice started to raise in pitch as she went, like she was getting even more nervous with every word. “And I’ve seen you a few times.”
My brows furrowed. “Seen me?”
She avoided my gaze. “With your dad.”
I blinked. “Oh.”
She bit her lip. “I know it’s not my business, and I shouldn’t even be saying anything. I…” She paused, glanced down at her hands, then back up at me. “I just… I’ve seen how much everything with the affair has hurt Sebastian. And I guess I’m just worried you’re… making a mistake.”
I’d been so careful. I’d done everything I could to make sure that Mum, Sebastian, and Ainsley didn’t know where I was going. I’d met with him in cars and parks and made sure no one was looking whenever I went inside his flat.
But it never would have occurred to me to worry about a random driver’s school car.
It was almost laughable when I thought about it.
That I’d worried so much about keeping Sebastian in the dark, but it never even occurred to me that Nora—who was not only dating Sebastian, but best friends with Ainsley—might see something she shouldn’t.
I guess I was too comfortable with the idea that most of his girlfriends would be like his ex, Tiffany, who couldn’t care less about anything that didn’t directly involve her.
I looked at her, at the earnest, nervous set of her shoulders, and felt a strange mix of irritation and understanding.
“You’re a good girlfriend,” I said slowly.
I did have to give her credit for wanting to protect Sebastian so badly that she would talk to me about this first. “But this is a family issue and you don’t…
” I shook my head. “There’s so much more going on here than you can understand.
More than Sebastian understands, even. Everyone just needs to get in the same room again to see that our family can be whole again. ”
Nora avoided my gaze. “I’m not sure that’s going to work, Imogen. I mean, look at my parents—they’re still married, but they’re making everyone miserable along with them by doing it. Some couples are better off divorced.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you know your parents best, but you don’t know mine. You don’t know what’s best for them.”
“I’m not trying to say I do, but—”
“But nothing.” I jumped up from the bed, my eyes burning with unshed tears. “Thank you for watching out for my brother, Nora, but I don’t need you watching out for me too. I can manage my family just fine on my own.”
Nora blinked, clearly taken aback, but she didn’t push further. Her fingers twined nervously in her lap, and she swallowed. “Okay… I get it,” she said finally. “I just… I wanted you to know I’m thinking about him, too. I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
I let out a shaky laugh, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “I know. And I appreciate it, really. But this is something I have to handle myself. I’ve got it under control.”
She hesitated for a moment, then gave a small nod. She gave a quick shrug, the tension in her shoulders easing a little. “I should get back out there before Sebastian thinks I’ve disappeared.”
“Go on,” I said, standing as well. “And don’t worry. I won’t do anything to hurt Sebastian. I promise.”
He might not be happy when he saw Dad show up, but this would be the best thing in the long run. They would all understand once Mum and Dad were back together.
She glanced at me one last time, a flicker of worry in her eyes, then turned and walked out the door.
I watched her go, the sound of her footsteps fading down the hall.
For a long moment, I just breathed, letting the silence fill the space she had left behind.
My pulse slowed, and for the first time in hours, I felt a quiet certainty settle over me.
Everything was exactly how it needed to be. I was ready.
“Imogen, are you down here?” Ainsley’s voice came from the top of the stairs.
I took a deep breath, making sure my voice would be steady, before calling back, “Yeah. I’ll be up in a minute.”
I smoothed my dress, checked my reflection in the mirror across the room, and with a last, decisive breath, I headed back up the stairs. The party was waiting.
We gathered in the living room for games. The floor creaked under the weight of bodies shifting. Someone nudged the speaker, and the music jumped a notch louder, bass thumping softly through my ribs. I could feel it in my chest, a slow vibration beneath everything else.
“Whoa, that’s way too loud!” my aunt called.
“Better?” Sebastian yelled back, grinning, as he spun the dial higher. He was going to blow out his ear drums one of these days.
“Watch your step,” Ainsley whispered, smirking as I sidestepped the stickiness of spilled soda just in time. She tugged me to the centre of the room. “It’s time for games!”
“I’m not sure I—” I started, and she elbowed me in the side.
I shoved her back gently, and she stumbled only a little, arms flailing, before catching herself with a dramatic spin. Her laughter bubbled out, loud and contagious, and I couldn’t help but let myself match it.
“Okay, okay, what’s the game?” I asked, still laughing, my stomach twisting in that good, chaotic way that only birthday parties can make you feel.
“Twister!” she yelled, pointing to the mat sprawled across the floor. “And don’t even think about cheating!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Cheating? Me?”
“Absolutely you!” she said, shoving a hand into my ribs. “Every single time. You’re so competitive.”