41. Cassandra Walker
Alexa Play: I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie
‘She lies to us,’ my monster growled as I skillfully walked down the stone path that led to the temporary arch Alyssa had brought in for the ceremony.
‘I know… But why?’
‘There were many of those small cotton sticks on the floor of her bathroom when she hid from us.’
‘It could be a coincidence.’
‘It is not. Don’t be a fool.’
I frowned as I continued my slow walk toward the arch. Theo was next to me, her arm linked through mine, and our small, but tight-knit families were sitting in white wooden folding chairs facing the arch on either side.
Vox and Gnomes sat together on the left with Theo’s coach and Alyssa, whom I’d asked to stay as well. On the right were Iris, Cal, and Ryan.
My gaze snagged on Iris, who was looking serene yet somewhat teary as we passed, and my monster hummed in consideration.
‘Ask the witch. I’m sure she knows.’
Mentally, I nodded, making a plan to find Iris after the ceremony and ask her if she knew what was up with Theo and the Q-Tips.
The officiant I’d hired for the ceremony was smiling at us as we approached, and I gave him a practiced smile back.
I’d met with him earlier in the week and given him strict terms of engagement.
No mention of God or Jesus.
No use of the word obedient.
Any mentions of the ‘devil’ were strictly forbidden, as I wasn’t sure if it would send Cal into a murderous rampage.
The vows were a basic, standard, non-religious script I’d found on some wedding site. The whole thing should have been relatively efficient and impersonal.
So when we made it to the arch, and I turned to face Theo, the look on her face made me almost stumble.
‘This is not impersonal for her,’ my monster mused, and suddenly, my heart was beating unreasonably fast.
The ring she had given me seemed to be burning a permanent mark on my finger, and when she reached out to take my hands in hers, something deep inside my chest clicked.
I could barely hear what the officiant was saying, and I didn’t know if Theo could either. The way she was staring at me made me feel like I was her whole world.
Like she really was my wife… and she would stick by my side until death forced us to part.
I jumped slightly when the officiant addressed me, and he began to lead me through the list of vows I’d given him for the ceremony.
I said ‘I do’ at all the appropriate intervals, and found myself wishing he would hurry up and get through this so I could finally kiss Theo properly.
But… When the officiant addressed Theo next, she gave him a shaky smile and shook her head.
There was a moment of blind panic when I thought she was backing out.
She was saying no to the vows?
But the panic immediately turned to complete shock when she tugged her fingers out of mine and slipped her hand into the inner pocket of her suit jacket.
“If you don’t mind… I wrote my own vows,” she said quietly.
Her voice quivered as she spoke, and her hands were shaking so badly she seemed to be having a difficult time unfolding the papers she’d retrieved, and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.
There was a strange rushing sound in my ears as she looked up at me, her cheeks pink and her dark eyes adorably wide.
“You don’t mind, do you?”
I could barely move, but I somehow managed to minutely shake my head, indicating that she should proceed, and she smiled.
She cleared her throat softly, ruffling her papers one more time, before looking back up at me.
And then, she began.
“Cassandra. I don’t know if you remember this, but when you first came to stay here, I made an off-hand joke about being your knight in shining armor.”
I nodded, and my mouth dried out.
“Do you remember what you said to me? You said, ‘Please, I slay my own dragons.’” Theo chuckled softly, and a strange burning sensation began to form behind my eyes. It took me a second to realize the burning feeling might be tears.
I hadn’t cried since the first time my mother told me she hated me.
I’d tried to cry as an adult, as my therapist told me it would be healthy for me to learn how to ‘feel my feelings’. But I’d never been able to manage it. My monster never let me close enough to the feelings that hurt me for it to work.
“Well, in these last few weeks I’ve gotten to know you… And I’ve never known something to be truer than that statement.
“You’ve always slain your own dragons, Cassandra.
You slayed your first dragon at thirteen years old, and you never looked back.
With nothing but sheer willpower and determination, you clawed your way out of one of the worst situations any child could ever find themselves in and continued to ruthlessly cut down every single obstacle life has ever tried to throw at you.
Your strength is more than incredible. It’s awe-inspiring.
You’re one of the most impressive women I’ve ever met, and it’s so clear to me that you don’t need any help navigating your way through this often cruel and unforgiving world we’ve all been forced to co-exist in.
You’ve proven time and time again that you’re stronger than the rest of us, and I’m dazzled by you every day.
So as I stand here before you, I struggle to find the words to explain what I can offer to someone who doesn’t need anybody. ”
“Theo…” I rasped, that burning sensation growing stronger, and my monster growled softly in my chest at the sight of tears forming in Theo’s eyes.
“I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I think I’ve figured it out… So, without further ado, this is what I vow to be, for the woman who needs no one…”
Oh my god.
My throat rolled, and I felt dizzy, but Theo just kept talking.
“After a long day of slaying dragons… when you’ve won the battle, but you’re left bleeding and raw…
I promise I’ll always be there to help tend to your wounds.
On those days when you’re tired of fighting…
When you’re feeling weak, or your sword is too heavy to carry…
I’ll be there, every time, to help remind you how strong you are.
On your highest days, when you come out the victor and need someone to celebrate with, I’ll be right there, ready to celebrate with you.
And on days where it’s all just too much, and you’re afraid that maybe this time, the monsters might win…
Days where you’re outnumbered and you need a safe place to rest until you’re ready to fight again…
I’ll be there to hold you and remind you that you’re not alone. ”
A tear slid down Theo’s cheek, and I was suddenly cupping her face, wiping the wetness away with my thumb.
“Theo… fuck…” I cursed softly, and she gave me a watery smile. The papers fluttered to the ground, and she reached up to cradle my face in return. She leaned forward, hovering inches away from my lips, and the whole world seemed to hold its breath.
“I know you don’t need a knight in shining armor, Cassandra,” she whispered, her minty breath dancing across my cheek. “But I’m hoping you’ll let me be your home.”
Then, she slotted her lips against mine, and the earth tilted beneath my feet as something that felt insanely permanent snapped in my heart.
Fireworks exploded across my mind, and I was so delirious, floating on the cloud of euphoria that only kisses from Theo seemed to give me… that I almost didn’t hear my monster as it rumbled in my chest.
‘Yes… I think we shall keep this one…’ It rumbled ominously.
‘This one is ours.’