50. Theo Fairview
Alexa Play: Where Does The Good Go by Tegan and Sara
The car ride home in Cassandra’s Audi was… awkward.
My head was killing me, and I felt like my brain was literally scrambled. So, as much as her silent fury was giving me anxiety, I wasn’t about to be the one to try to speak first.
Cassandra’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel for the entire drive, and she didn’t look at me once.
When we parked in the underground garage at her building, I moved to open the door, and she snapped at me.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” she snarled, getting out of the driver’s side and circling the car to help me out.
“Cass, I’m fine. I can walk,” I muttered as she wrapped her arm around my waist, steadying me as I tried to stand.
The world swam as I was hit with a dizzy spell, and I stumbled.
“Shut the fuck up, Theo,” she hissed, tightening her hold on me and guiding me toward the elevator.
The ride up was another long, silent, awkward experience. The elevator was mirrored, and for the first time, I caught a glimpse of my face.
Yikes.
No wonder she was so pissed off.
I looked like I got in a fight with a lawn mower. My right eye was completely swollen shut, and the whole side of my face was already turning green from the bruising.
There was dried blood under my nose, and my lip had a gnarly cut. Probably sliced it on my teeth after I lost the mouth guard.
Oh well. It would heal.
It sounded like I was out of commission for a few weeks because of the concussion anyway.
“Bathroom. Sit on the toilet,” she ordered curtly, and I gingerly slipped out of my Nikes before silently moving to do what I was told.
I was so fucking tired.
I was no longer buzzed from the wine I’d sipped on all day. Now I was just that weird kind of hangover you get if you drink too much and don’t sleep. That, coupled with the concussion and the mashed-up face, was making it hard for me to keep my eyes open.
Collapsing down on the toilet in the guest bathroom, I leaned back and dropped my head over the wall.
It wasn’t comfortable with the tank digging into my back, but I didn’t care. I could barely keep my head up.
When Cassandra entered the bathroom, her rage felt like a physical thing, and I was defenseless against it.
She flicked the lights on, and I winced against the blinding brightness. It was doing nothing to help with the massive headache I was suffering through.
With my eyes closed, I listened as Cassandra turned on the tap to the sink and unsnapped what sounded like a first aid kit of some kind.
When I felt her move to crouch between my legs, I forced myself to crack open my one good eye so I could watch her.
She was on her knees before me, holding up a damp washcloth, and I forced myself not to wince as she started to carefully dab at the dried blood that had crusted on my upper lip.
Her gentle touches were triggering the shit out of me, but I kept my mouth shut. I was already on thin ice, and I didn’t want to give her another reason to be mad at me.
“Thanks,” I grunted, and her dark eyes flicked up to meet mine, her perfect lips in a firm line.
“I don’t even have words right now, Theodora.”
I shrugged, which seemed to be the wrong thing to do. Her lip curled, and her entire face contorted with rage. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she snapped, and I felt the first twinges of my own anger beginning to surface.
“How much time do you have?” I sighed, already wishing she would just get to the point and kick me out so I could lick my wounds in peace back at my guesthouse.
“This isn’t a fucking joke, Theodora!” she hissed, and I rolled my eyes.
“Do I look like I’m laughing?” I deadpanned.
“I’m certainly not! Do you have any idea what that was like for me? Having to stand there and watch while that woman beat the fucking shit out of you?”
“You weren’t even supposed to be there!” I snarled. “I didn’t invite you for a reason.”
“You didn’t invite me last night either, when you apparently went out for ‘pops’ with Jerry.”
I paused. Pops?
“You fucking lied to me. I lost it on your poor coach when you were out cold, blaming him for taking you out to get drunk before a big fight, and you know what he told me, Theo?”
I could only stare.
I didn’t remember telling her I’d gone for drinks with Jerry, but fuck. Sounds like I did.
I had a whole conversation with her while I was blackout?
This was definitely over.
The realization that this fight was probably her ‘breaking up’ with me was too much.
I felt myself start to shut down, and for once, I didn’t bother fighting it.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I sighed, and even to me, my voice sounded tired.
“He told me he’s been sober for ten years. He’s in AA, Theo. He had no idea you went out and got wasted the night before a fight. He’s just as pissed with you as I am.”
I shrugged again, turning my head away from her.
If she was going to break up with me, I didn’t want her touching me anymore. I just wanted to get this over with.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” she continued in that low, terrifyingly dangerous tone.
“I am going to finish cleaning you up. Then, you’re going to rest. I will make sure you’re up every hour as per the medic’s orders, and tomorrow, you’re going to tell Jerry you’re retiring.
Your fighting career is over. This ends now. ”
My mouth dropped open in shock, and suddenly, I wasn’t numb anymore.
I was pissed.
A dark chuckle slipped out of my swollen lips, and Cass narrowed her eyes at the sound.
“No.”
“That wasn’t a request, Theodora.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t get to make those decisions for me, Cassandra. I’m not quitting fighting. What the fuck is wrong with you that you think you get to tell me to do something like that?”
“So this is how it’s going to be, then?” She sounded deceivingly calm. “You expect me to sit here and just wait around like some worried housewife while you subject yourself to that human equivalent of a fucking cock fight once a month?”
“I don’t expect anything from you!” I shouted.
Suddenly, she was grabbing me by the shoulders. She wasn’t calm anymore. I gaped in shock as she basically screamed at me from inches away.
“I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, THEO!” Her voice shook and cracked as she screamed. “She wasn’t going to stop!”
“I KNOW!” I screamed back before I could think better of it. “That’s how it fucking is!”
Cass let go of me abruptly. She stumbled back as her mouth fell open.
“So… she would have killed you if you weren’t able to get the situation under control?”
I shrugged again, suddenly feeling ashamed and awkward for some reason.
“If I couldn’t tap out in time, yeah. That’s why the fights draw such a big crowd and the winnings are so huge. They’re high stakes.”
She was staring at me like she couldn’t believe what I was saying.
We sat there in silence for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, and I watched as that cold, strange rage flickered behind her irises.
“You are forbidden from fighting again,” she finally said, and I rolled my eyes, shoving her back so I could finally get up and abandon this fucked up conversation.
“Whatever, Cass,” I grumbled, bracing my hand on the edge of the counter so I could use it to help me stand up. “Sorry I’m not quite fitting into your perfect fucking life. Let me just pack some shit, and I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll come back for the rest of my shit tomorrow.”
My body groaned in protest as I struggled to stand. My head swam, and I was so dizzy I almost didn’t hear the sound of pure indignation that came out of Cassandra’s mouth.
“What?” she choked, but I ignored her.
I couldn’t do this anymore. My body felt like it was made of lead. I was hungover and nauseous from all the wine I’d consumed, and the concussion sure as fuck wasn’t helping.
Listening to her chew me out for shit she didn’t understand might have been tolerable if I didn’t think it was just some long, drawn-out lead-up to telling me, ‘This just isn’t working.’
Or, ‘Maybe we just need some space.’
Or my personal favorite, ‘I think we both just need time for personal growth.’
I’d heard them all before.
I wasn’t really interested in hearing them again.
Especially not from Cassandra.