Chapter 12
twelve
. . .
peony
I’ve been feeding Mr. Edgewood ham sandwiches for days when Kellen comes to the door to my room and knocks. I know it’s him, because who else would it be? We’re the only ones in the house who will step out into a hallway.
Sighing, I open the door. Kellen stands on the other side with something big and green in his arms, which looks almost like a stranded seal.
“Mr. Edgewood saw you walking the other day,” he says, offering me the strange object. Reflexively, I take it, then realize what I’m holding.
It’s an absolutely lovely emerald peacoat, with big tortoiseshell buttons and a fur-trimmed hood. When I shake it out and hold it up in front of me, I’m struck by how well made it is, certainly more than anything I’ve bought at a big-box store.
“Winter is coming quickly, and Mr. Edgewood wants you to be safe and comfortable,” Kellen says as I lay the coat over the chair.
“That’s nice of him.” I don’t know what to make of the gift. It’s thoughtful and kind, and it’s certainly something I needed.
I can sense that Kellen wants to argue Mr. Edgewood’s case again, but I stop him with a hand.
“I’ll accept it,” I say, “if he promises not to give me another gift.”
Kellen’s eyes drop. “I’ll let him know.”
We each say goodnight as he leaves. Then I put on the coat and observe myself in the mirror.
I look almost… elegant. I shove my hands into the pockets, which are deep and lined with silk—and there I find a piece of paper tucked inside.
I pull it out. This is no note. This is a letter, written on thick, fancy linen paper in a neat, cream-colored envelope. I open it up to reveal a golden seal embossed on the top that reads RUPERT EDGEWOOD.
Rupert. This is how I find out?
Though I would say Mr. Edgewood always has good and readable handwriting, this is exceptional. He’s clearly taken care with it, beginning at the very top with a swirling A for “Ms. Austin.”
Ms. Austin,
When I was a boy—yes, a human boy—I once kicked a football and hit my mate square in the head. It gave him a rattle, and I believe he had a concussion. It was deeply unpleasant knowing I had hurt someone I cared about, and he was afraid of playing footie forever afterward.
It is painful to cause someone hurt, but that pain does not override the injury that has been inflicted. I was petulant and prideful when I did not come to your dinner. I let my self-loathing of my form get in the way of enjoying the fruits of your hard work.
Likely it is because I care about you, Ms. Austin, and so your opinion has the utmost effect on me. I could not stand the idea that you were disgusted with me, and so I was a coward.
Please, let me make it up to you. On Saturday night, at six p.m., I would like to formally invite you to the dining room for dinner. All you need to bring is yourself, and I will handle everything else.
I would very much like the opportunity to get to know such an intriguing woman as you, given I have not destroyed our budding friendship with my carelessness.
Sincerely,
Rupert Edgewood
I stare at the letter for a long time, reading it over and over. The item carries a scent, musky and leathery like the one I smelled when I was in Mr. Edgewood’s rooms. I breathe it in, closing my eyes as I think over how to respond.
He owned up to his mistakes and spelled out why he had made them without excusing himself. He understood why it had hurt, and now he’s offered a way for him to hopefully make amends.
I set the letter on the desk and hang up my new coat in the closet. Then I turn over his letter and write on the back.
I accept.
-P
rupert
I am over the moon when I receive Ms. Austin’s reply. She is willing to give me another chance. I will not squander it this time.
I give Kellen a very detailed list of what I want for the dinner, and his eyes go wide as he scans it. But he takes it without questioning anything.
“I will trust you to choose the bubbly, since I can’t go myself,” I tell him. “Please pick something that pairs well with the beef.”
“Of course.” Kellen tucks the list in his pocket and departs, and I watch as his car rolls away.
It’s time to start planning.
I have asked Ms. Austin to please take tomorrow off. She will receive her paycheck in the morning, and I have advised Kellen to push her to go shopping. She needs clothes, shoes, a mobile—and I’ve ensured she’s receiving a hiring bonus to help take the weight off the cost.
While she is out, I will do my work in the kitchen. It’s been a long while since I made this, and I may have to practice a few times before I get it just right.
I want to get it just right for her.
All night, I think about what I’m going to make, envisioning the look on Ms. Austin’s face as she tastes it. I can’t stop repeating the steps in my mind, so eventually, I drag myself up to my feet to work off some of my nervous energy.
That is one thing this body can do well, and it’s move. Out behind the manor, I drop down onto all four legs and hurtle into the woods, the branches slapping me as I weave around tree trunks and leap over creeks. My stamina feels infinite, all my nerves and excitement about tomorrow fueling me on.
The following morning, Kellen informs me that, as I requested, Ms. Austin has made herself scarce. Kellen even told her to take his car into town, much to my satisfaction. He is a good man.
When I’m certain she’s gone, I make my way down to the kitchen. Kellen has purchased everything I requested, and now it’s time to begin my preparation.
It’s difficult, though, trying to do such minute detail work with these awkward, clawed hands.
I did cook for a time after I was changed, and that is why the kitchen is stocked the way it is now.
But as I became less inclined to leave my rooms, so was I less inclined to cook, and our dinners morphed into whatever Kellen could throw together, or takeaway. That is, until Peony arrived.
I let out a snarl when I accidentally nick myself with a peeler, and my blood comes out dark blue. I’ve always thought it such a strange thing to change about me—the color of my blood—but I think it’s simply to make me feel even more alien, even more like I don’t belong.
I’ll have to relearn everything from scratch. And yet, though it’s frustrating when my claws get in the way, I come back to Ms. Austin and how I’m doing this to please her, and that centers me once more.
She still wants to see me, despite knowing what I look like. That in itself is incredibly encouraging. Now, I’ll get to actually hold a conversation with her, get to know her, and perhaps, truly discover who she is.
peony
I stand at the entrance to the mall, clutching my purse tight in one hand. Some part of me is worried that with this much money on me, I’ll be robbed. I can’t have that happen.
Kellen sent me away for the day, being frank that Mr. Edgewood needed the house to prepare dinner and he didn’t want me to see him before that. I agreed, and then Kellen cut me the biggest check I’ve ever seen in my life.
Unfortunately, I had to tell him I didn’t have a bank account in which to deposit it, and he stiffened all over, mouth gaping.
“No bank account? You must fix that at once! I can’t have you carrying around cash whenever you go out.”
Once again, it reminded me of my dad, and my heart gave a weak thump.
“Okay, okay. I’ll get one.”
He’s right, of course. I need to establish that kind of independence separate from Andy.
So Kellen fished out enough cash to cover the check, and now I’m heading into the mall looking for a whole new wardrobe.
Well, part of one. At least a few pairs of pants, jeans, and long-sleeve shirts.
It’s too bad I had to leave all my other clothes behind at Andy’s, but now I get to start over.
Then any cash I have left I can take to the bank and put in my new checking account to save up for an apartment.
The first thing I do, though, is head to the mobile phone store. I pick out the cheapest thing, a flip phone, and buy a prepaid plan. I can figure something else out once I get a credit card.
Then it’s off to the discount department store, where I grab a bulk bag of underwear, a few new bras, four shirts, three pants, a skirt, and a dress with some matching leggings.
I also pick up a pair of tall boots for the colder, snowier months, and as a last-minute purchase, I get a matching set of hat, scarf, and gloves.
They’re green plaid, which should go perfectly with my new coat.
I’ve been trying not to think about what awaits me back at the manor. Mr. Edgewood is preparing something grand, that much is obvious. I didn’t intend for him to go all out this way, but I’m also… thrilled. What can he do in a kitchen? What does he have planned for me?
It reminds me of family dinners back in the restaurant, when you didn’t always know what was going to come out. The pastry chef might surprise you with some cake that was out of this world.
I keep my excitement in check as I finish up at the store, and I even snag eyeliner and a cheap lipstick on my way out. Why not spoil myself a little?
And it feels good. Oh, it feels so good to put everything on the counter and have the woman behind the register scan it all, and then I pull out the cash to pay for it.
Now, it’s all mine.
I’m like a goblin hoarding treasure as I carry my bags out to the car. Kellen’s car, really, which is ridiculously ostentatious in this average town. Packing everything into the trunk, I hop in, push the start button, and head to the bank.
I had an account once upon a time, but I closed it when Andy and I pooled our money. I ask the teller for a debit card, but it has to be mailed to me—so I jot down Mr. Edgewood’s address, hoping he won’t mind if I have some of my things delivered there.
It’s getting on in the afternoon by the time I’m done, so I decide to head back to the manor and prepare for dinner. I park in the garage but take the back hallway, avoiding the kitchen so I don’t run into Mr. Edgewood before he’s ready for me to see him.
I take a shower, really working the conditioner into my hair. Then I blow-dry until it’s falling in neat, thick waves down my back.
The dress is perfect, a deep burgundy that’s elegant and yet tempting, and my new black leggings go well with it.
Kellen prefers we wear shoes inside, so I pair them with my new boots, hoping that a little height on my part might help Mr. Edgewood feel less self-conscious.
I don’t have any jewelry, but that’s pretty low on my list of necessities.
Just before stepping out the door, I remember my new eyeliner and lipstick and put them on. Then, it’s time to meet Rupert Edgewood.