Chapter 2 #2
Nicholas glanced toward the entryway, then back to the low table as Gabriel took a long drag from the hand-rolled cigarette. The bad habit relaxed him. He trapped the vapor inside his lungs for an excruciating second as Nicholas hesitantly reached for the spiked water. A small victory.
Smoke expelled from between Gabriel’s lips in a sigh of relief, swirling toward Nicholas as he worked to get the water down faster than he was capable of.
Panting, he slammed the empty glass onto the coffee table, disturbing the ring of condensation.
His gaze drifted to Gabriel’s unfinished drink, cheeks warming.
“Go on,” Gabriel encouraged. “I can always pour myself another.”
Nicholas had the glass to his lips before Gabriel could get his last word out. He finished it, licking away the droplet that ran down the corner of his mouth.
His breathing evened; the sweat along his hairline no longer visible. Now more alert, he slowly took in his surroundings before homing in on Gabriel with clear eyes.
Heat pooled low in Gabriel’s belly as Nicholas seemed to take true stock of the man sitting across from him.
Gabriel relaxed further into the loveseat, thighs shifting wider, draping an arm over its back.
An easy position he’d never adopted before, but one he hoped gave the impression that he wasn’t in a rush for Nicholas to put an end to his perusal of him.
It’d been too long since he cared to be admired in this way.
“Should we go to the bedroom?” Nicholas asked in a husky tone.
“No.”
“Then here?” His impatient hands worked to undo the lone button on his blazer.
Gabriel leaned toward the ashtray, putting out his cigarette. “We aren’t having sex. At least not tonight.”
“Then… Then why am I here?” he asked, caution renewed.
“I have a proposition for you.”
Nicholas remained silent but watchful.
“I’d like to see you exclusively, meaning you aren’t to take on any other clients during our arrangement. I’d require your company for dinner a few nights a week, followed by breakfast when we wake,” he added, making it clear that he expected Nicholas to spend nights with him.
“You’ll travel with me when necessary, allow me to ensure your safety when we’re not together… things of that nature. More importantly, I want to get to know you. You’ll be well compensated for your time.”
“Get to know me?” Nicholas seemed panicked by the idea. “I don’t do exclusivity, and you don’t look like someone who’d have a hard time getting a date.”
“You’d be surprised.”
There had been periods during their separation when time stood still, when he’d delved into self-loathing after convincing himself that he’d been betrayed by the saahira, and that Zayn would never return.
He’d taken on other lovers, meaningless trysts.
It was either that or murder, because he needed some place to release his pain.
Gabriel never felt good afterward, proving murder was the better outlet for him.
He retrieved the small folio tucked into the coffee table drawer, sliding it across the table’s surface. Nicholas slowly unfolded the sheet of paper, hands trembling as he eyed the sum of money scrawled across it.
From the file Marcus had provided him, Gabriel knew that Nicholas’s scholarship didn’t cover his graduate degree and that he’d lost his last job after his ‘condition’ had deemed him unreliable.
Still, Gabriel wasn’t confident that he would agree, because working as an escort wasn’t just about paying the bills for Nicholas.
Sex was his primary objective, and Gabriel’s offer wasn’t precisely inclusive of that.
Gabriel was fully prepared to go around him if necessary.
If Nicholas couldn’t be bought, Eliana could be.
Backing Nicholas into a corner would be his last resort, though.
“Why me?” Nicholas breathed.
“I asked for something specific, and Eliana sent you. You exceeded my expectations from the moment you walked through the door. So here we are.” Gabriel gestured to the suite around them.
“And what expectations are those?” Nicholas slid the paper back in Gabriel’s direction, but kept his fingers pressed on it, telling Gabriel all he needed to know.
Nicholas wanted to decline; maybe even his instincts were telling him he should.
But he was also looking for a reason to say yes, or at least a reason to entertain the possibility.
Gabriel would need to offer up a piece of himself, a sliver of the truth.
“You remind me of someone I once lost. It’s been a lonely existence without him.”
The honesty of those words struck Gabriel square in the chest, the rush of emotion making it hard for him to hold Nicholas’s gaze, and challenging for him to not hold Nicholas at all.
Nicholas swallowed, appearing to weigh Gabriel’s words, as though inspecting them for deceit.
“You didn’t mention sex.” His voice was low and warm—sheepish, even.
Gabriel could taste Nicholas’s shame at the back of his own throat. The flavor of it burned like something acidic. Nicholas sat poised on the brim of the couch, head held high in spite of his chagrin.
“I’m not saying sex is off the table, but I’m more interested in your companionship—for now,” he added with a raised palm when Nicholas made to stand.
Nicholas looked bewildered by that, shaking his head. “That won’t work for me.”
“When you get to a point where you need that from me, you have my word, I’ll give it to you. I’m hoping we can get to know each other before then.”
“You’re asking for the impossible. I’m at that point right now,” he said through clenched teeth, uncaring that he’d exposed his desperation.
“How do you feel?” Gabriel inquired.
Nicholas’s reservations stemmed from the sexual part of the deal—or rather, the lack of it. He hadn’t paused long enough in his panic to realize his cravings were at bay.
He made a sound of frustration. “I already told you—”
“Close your eyes for me, Nicholas.”
“What?”
“I said, close your eyes. Please.”
Nicholas blew out a breath, but complied.
“Now,” Gabriel started. “Tell me how you feel at this very moment.”
“I… I feel… fine…” The last word was a ghost on his lips. If it weren’t for Gabriel’s impeccable hearing, he might have missed it.
Nicholas had seen several doctors for his symptoms; Gabriel was aware of this as well.
After numerous tests ruled out anything physically wrong with him, they’d all recommended the same thing: psychotherapy.
Instead, he’d been trying to deal with this on his own, resorting to sleeping with strangers just to find a moment of respite.
Outside of matters concerning his mate, Gabriel wasn’t a man prone to regret or sadness.
What he felt now was a dangerous cocktail of the two.
He never believed he could despise himself more than he already had, but forcing his lover into the arms of others, knowing that a morsel of Nicholas’s self-worth chipped away with each encounter, had Gabriel squeezing his eyes shut to hide the amber glow that rose within them.
Nicholas didn’t have to voice any of those thoughts to him. His emotions rubbed against Gabriel’s skin, begging for someone to share them with.
Please don’t hate me, Habibi.
“Half of that will be transferred into your account upon agreement.”
He’d done the math. This offer would more than cover Nicholas’s schooling and living expenses while he earned his second degree. No loans, no having to hop from bed to bed to survive both physically and financially. Nicholas seemed to be doing the mental calculations as well.
“Think it over.” Gabriel handed him his card. “Call me once you have an answer.”
This would give Nicholas time to realize the arrangement could work, now that his hunger no longer suffocated him.
Nicholas turned the square piece of ivory over in his hand. It contained only a phone number. “Who are you?”
“I’m a businessman.” Gabriel’s reply reminded him of the man Nicholas had lain with last night.
Jeremy.
The skin around Gabriel’s nail beds prickled as the video of Nicholas’s tear-streaked cheeks replayed in his mind. He shot up from his seat, striding over to the wall of windows, willing his claws to recede.
While his anger and jealousy cooled, he observed Nicholas remove his heels and stand through the reflection of the glass, measuring several inches under six feet now.
“Is this considered normal attire for you?” he asked without turning to him.
“Not really. The clients seem to like me as ambiguously masculine as possible.”
Men who wanted to hide who they were and what they wanted, even from themselves. Gabriel ducked his head until he was calm enough to retract his fangs.
“You can be yourself with me,” Gabriel recalled Eliana’s words to him.
“Nicholas is a chameleon. He can be whoever and whatever the job requires of him. Makes him a hot commodity to my business.”
That had been her pitch, right before charging him an astronomical fee for Nicholas’s time. Gabriel wanted to know the person beneath the toned body and hips that swayed from forced practice. He wanted to know the man beneath the expectations.
Nicholas rubbed a hand over his nape, gaze latching onto the suite’s door.
After some internal debate, he came to stand near Gabriel, tracing the raindrops spattered along the window.
When he spoke again, his tone was absent of the contrived sultriness it had held when he’d suggested they move things to the bedroom.
“The jacket’s okay, but if it were up to me, I’d wear high-tops with it. And jeans.”
He bit the corner of his lip shyly, unaware of how the show of innocence stirred the predator in Gabriel. It also reminded him of how young Nicholas was despite his innate sensuality. A sensuality he seemed oblivious to, one he thought he had to manufacture.
Gabriel leaned a shoulder into the glass, facing Nicholas’s profile.
“I want to know who you are, Nicholas.” Those words were the most honest of any Gabriel had spoken that night.
The corner of Nicholas’s mouth lifted before the mood altered to something somber.