Chapter 8
Gabriel
He’d pulled his hair away from his heart-shaped face, and the borrowed T-shirt he wore hung loose around his collarbone. He donned a pair of gray sweats rolled up at the ankles, and Gabriel’s stomach fluttered at seeing his mate in his belongings—even if the significance of it went unknown to him.
Marcus smiled in warm welcome, and Hamza gaped in shock and barely leashed rage.
Their gazes lacked any amorous intent, but Gabriel still had to suppress the urge to mark and defend his territory. These primal impulses would only worsen once he and Nicholas were blood-bonded.
“Did we disturb you?” Gabriel met him at the bottom of the landing.
He’d been distracted near the end of his argument with Hamza and hadn’t heard when Nicholas left the bedroom. Had he overheard them?
Gabriel mentally replayed everything and concluded that he could explain most of it away if needed. There was the matter of Hamza’s broken wrist, but the damaged bones and ligaments would already be repairing themselves.
“No. I got a little hungry… and curious,” he admitted.
They were standing so close that Gabriel could feel Nicholas’s heartbeat reverberate against his own skin. Instant calm washed over him, and he wanted nothing more than to close the flimsy gap, to bury his face in the delicate crook of Nicholas’s neck.
A throat cleared behind them, and with a sigh, Gabriel gestured to their audience.
“Nicholas, this is Marcus.”
“Your driver and friend.” Nicholas nodded hello.
“Friend works fine,” Marcus replied, a smile in his tone.
“And this is my brother, Detective Hamza.”
“Hi.” Nicholas took a slight step forward, positioning himself in front of Gabriel. Was the action unconscious? Instinctual? Had he picked up on Hamza’s hostility toward Gabriel? An even scarier thought… Did Nicholas recognize him?
Zayn and Hamza had never met, but Gabriel didn’t understand how Nicholas’s dreams worked yet, or whose perspective he viewed them through. Did he only see whatever Zayn saw? Was he an omniscient presence? Or did he experience his dreamscape through Gabriel’s eyes?
Gabriel had reason to be concerned if it were the latter, since Hamza still looked like himself.
“They were just leaving.” Gabriel aimed a meaningful look at his brother.
“Nice to meet you,” Hamza said gruffly, shaking out his wrist. “Maybe you can finally lighten this place the fuck up.”
He stormed past them, snatching up his helmet. The front door slammed behind him, his parting words reigniting Gabriel’s insecurity about his home, about whether Nicholas would find comfort there.
Marcus exhaled, bidding Nicholas and Gabriel goodnight before leaving as well.
“You and your brother don’t get along.”
“Was it that obvious?”
“I could feel the tension from the top of the stairs.”
Gabriel wanted to ask what else he’d felt from up there. He wanted to ask what he’d heard.
“He seems… unpredictable.”
Gabriel chuckled. “That’s a nice way of putting it.”
In all honesty, Hamza was the more civil sibling, even if his appearance and perpetual scowl said otherwise. He was courteous to strangers, fair in the way he governed his subordinates, and believed in the right to choose.
“We care deeply for one another, but there are a lot of things lingering from our past. Things we can’t seem to move on from.”
“You and Marcus look more alike, although I couldn’t see his eyes behind the dark shades.”
“Yes, well, Hamza gets his looks from our mother’s side.” Which was true, although it only partially addressed the curiosity in his mate’s gaze.
Nicholas’s stomach growled, reminding Gabriel of his hunger.
“Come. I’ll make you something to eat.”
“You cook?” Nicholas scanned Gabriel from head to toe, as if maybe he’d missed something upon his first assessment of him.
“Yes.” Gabriel chuckled, moving through the living room and into the open kitchen.
“What are you gonna make?” Nicholas slipped onto one of the island stools.
“A dish that’s close to my heart.”
Vampires, as mythologists would call them, didn’t need food to survive. Blood was what kept them from turning rabid. Food was a catalyst used for fellowship, to bring families together, to keep communal connections strong. Many mating customs involved nourishment of this kind as well.
Gabriel rolled up his sleeves before vanishing into the pantry for spices and a cutting board, then pulled a tray of lamb cutlets from the fridge. He got started on the rice while Nicholas watched on with a strange expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uh, nothing.” Nicholas shook his head as if clearing it. “It’s just that… I’ve never seen you excited before. I mean, we’ve only been around each other twice now—well, three times if you want to count upstairs as something separate—”
“I’d like to count it as something separate.”
Upstairs, he’d still been upset at having found Nicholas drugged at O’Brien’s club, and well, a lot had happened since Nicholas woke up in his bathtub.
A lot had been said. Now, he had the pleasure of nourishing his mate, a tradition he didn’t think he’d get to enjoy so soon.
It felt like they were entering a new phase, so yes, he definitely wanted to count it as something separate, as something new.
“Okay, three times. The other two times you were… intense. Now you seem excited. You’re smiling. It’s nice.”
“Have I not smiled in front of you before?”
Nicholas shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. But this smile feels lighter.”
Gabriel nodded, accepting his mate’s analysis of him. “The truth is, I haven’t cooked in a long time. Marcus keeps the place stocked with food in the hopes that I’ll one day be in the mood, but I haven’t been, until now.”
Nicholas didn’t shy away from Gabriel’s pointed gaze.
“Can I help?”
“Not this time.” He grabbed an array of vegetables from the crisper drawer. “This time, I’ll do all the work to feed you.”
He got started on dicing the peppers and vegetables, noticing Nicholas’s gaze drift to the living room and dining area.
“You can explore, if you want. Or I can give you the full tour after dinner.”
“Maybe I’ll explore just a little.” Nicholas slid off his stool.
Gabriel’s stomach twisted as he both chopped and watched Nicholas’s every reaction.
His mate ran his hand along the back of the wine-red couch, fingers dipping into the tufted leather grooves.
He sat in one of the matching armchairs, and it nearly swallowed him whole.
Everything in Gabriel’s home was oversized, made to accommodate his frame.
Gabriel lowered the flame under the rice, and Nicholas moved on to the fireplace.
“I think I can fit in here.” He poked his head inside the hearth before grinning over at Gabriel. “Maybe even sleep in here.”
Was that a good thing, Gabriel wondered.
“Everything’s so big.” He stretched to reach the top of the mantel. “And tall.” His gaze brushed over the vaulted ceiling to the panel molding along the black walls. “And dark.”
“Is that a problem?” Gabriel tried for nonchalant, but failed. His hand tightened on the hilt of the knife as Nicholas gave the space another once-over.
“It’s overwhelming,” he said thoughtfully, as if searching for more words. The anticipation would kill Gabriel.
“It’s immense, moody, mysterious… just like you.”
What did that mean? Were those all good things?
“It’s beautiful, Gabriel.”
Nicholas angled his head in the silence that followed. “You’re smiling again.”
“Am I?”
“Yeah.” He brandished a soft smile of his own. “It matters to you. It matters that I like your home.”
“Yes.” Gabriel’s tone was as bright as the sun. “Where I come from, it matters a great deal.”
It was Gabriel’s job to ensure his mate’s safety, comfort, and happiness, and to his kind, that began within the home. He would’ve had to burn the place down if Nicholas didn’t approve of it.
“Thank you, Nicholas.”
Nicholas’s throat bobbed, and he cleared it before shuffling over to the dining area. He circled the elongated table, his hand sliding across the chair backs as he went.
“You live alone?”
“I do. Although sometimes I wonder if there’s a squatter that I’m unaware of. Marcus,” he clarified. “He always manages to appear when I need him.”
He moved on to the meat, making tiny incisions before stuffing them with garlic cloves and bay leaves.
“He cares about you.”
“He does, although I’m not sure why. I’m not the easiest person to care for.”
“Why not?”
“Probably because there’s a lot I can’t forgive myself for. A lot I can’t forget.”
“Me too. But where’s the fun in easy? At least that’s what my friend Mateo always says.”
Gabriel felt both appreciation and jealousy at the mention of Mateo.
“You trust him,” he said, knowing that didn’t come easy for Nicholas.
“Yes.”
“And he cares for you.”
Nicholas sighed. “Yeah, but like you, I don’t know why.”
“Maybe because you’re a good person.”
Nicholas glanced over at him before venturing to the glass wall, taking in its magnitude. He gave the appearance of indifference, but the rapid beating of his heart told Gabriel how much his compliment meant to him. Maybe how much he wanted it to be true.
“Even with everything you know about me, you still think that?”
“You struggle with the hard decisions you’ve had to make, and with what you perceive as a betrayal to yourself and your God. Tell me, would those things keep a bad person up at night?”
If only Gabriel could believe the same about himself.
He didn’t struggle with being a bad man.
He’d come to terms with that long ago. What tortured him was the surety that Nicholas wouldn’t see what he’d fought for as a worthy cause.
Not what he’d fought for in the very distant past, nor what he continued to fight for in the present day.
“I sleep with men for money.”
“Not anymore,” Gabriel said, as if it were a vow he’d just sworn on his life.
“But your proposal—”
“Is based on companionship, Nicholas. Sex is the least of what I want from you.”
I want your heart.
Nicholas may have decided not to further his education, but school expenses aside, he still needed money to live. He still needed Gabriel.