Chapter 4 #3
“Not just her, Charlie too! Nana died,” I paused as my throat got tight and I cleared it.
“When I came up for the funeral I could see something was wrong with Cassie. She didn’t look right…
” I shook my head, remembering. Her skin had a yellowish cast to it, and she had lost weight.
Cassie and I had gotten into a huge fight at the wake when I kept asking her if she was feeling ok, if she had noticed any changes in her body, or weird symptoms. I had known that something was off, even as she screamed at me, and Nana’s friends busied themselves making coffee and pretending they couldn’t hear us.
“I called Cassie every day to nag her about going to the doctor, until finally she went. Then that doctor sent her to a specialist at Cherry County Hospital. She called me afterward, hysterical. I could hear Mike yelling in the background. He was pissed that she had cancer, like she had done it on purpose to inconvenience him. I came up for the weekend and I could see how it was going to go.” I rubbed my forehead and looked back at Charlie.
“They weren’t taking care of him,” I whispered.
“The house was a mess. Mike was leaving every night, going to every bar in the Lower Peninsula. Cassie wasn’t taking care of herself, not eating right.
So I left my program, and then Mike took off for Lord knows where…
” I raised my hands, then let them fall.
“What was I supposed to do? She’s my sister. I owe her.”
“What do you mean, you owe her?”
I pressed my lips together. “Cassie’s mom, Loretta, took me in—I guess you know the story.
” He was silent. Everyone knew. “She took me in when I’m sure it was the last thing she had ever planned for her life.
” Because who could plan for having your husband’s illegitimate kid dumped in your lap?
“She didn’t just tolerate me being there—she took care of me.
She brought me to church. She tried to teach me to cook.
” I snorted. That hadn’t been a success.
“When Loretta got sick, my dad was such a jerk. He acted just like Mike, like it was somehow Loretta’s fault!
Nana and I tried to help her, and when she died I decided that I was going to go to school and figure out some kind of cure or something, so no one would ever have to die like that again, in so much pain, so frightened.
” I had dialed back my expectation of finding a cure for cancer, but maybe I could have done something to help.
“And then her only daughter got cancer too. I owe her,” I repeated. “I owe Loretta.”
Luke was completely silent. So far I had covered home repairs, Cassie, my Nana’s death, our money woes, Charlie’s neglect, my parents, and cancer.
All that was left was to tell him about all the disgusting abuse at Roy’s.
What was the matter with me? Maybe we could talk about global warming and the extinction of polar bears, or deadly diseases in Africa or something, just to lighten things up.
Charlie started making noise in the back. “Mommy…” he drawled out in a yawn. “I mean, Emmy?”
“What’s up, pal?”
“I’m hungry and I have to go to the bathroom.”
I shot a look at Luke. “So, now that he’s awake, you’re going to hear that about every five minutes.”
“Are we there yet?” Charlie asked.
“And that too,” I added.
Luckily we had plenty of Luke’s breakfast treats left to assuage his hunger, and when you’re a boy, the world is your toilet. No need to find a gas station.
Charlie kept the conversation going the rest of the way to the meet.
Luke was very quiet, probably busy pondering why he had permitted Debby Downer and the Pee Pee Kid in his car.
I was quiet too. For some reason, I had just told Luke more of my sad-sack story than even Tara knew.
I looked out the window and willed my cheeks back to their normal shade of pasty pale.
Just before we got to the turnoff for the meet, I put my hand on Luke’s arm. His muscles tensed under my palm.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to lay all that on you.”
“I asked,” he said shortly.
“No one asks to get that much crud dumped on them. I had a whole list of things I wasn’t going to bring up with you, and I think I hit almost every single one of them.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to tell me that stuff?” he asked, looking over at me as he changed lanes to make a turn into the parking lot.
“Because—” Because I wanted you to like me! “It’s just a little heavy on the way to a swim meet. Oh, there’s a spot!”
Luke expertly maneuvered his giant car into the parking space and we all hopped out.
“Charlie, stay with me,” I demanded, as I saw him inching toward the pool. “Put Danny Bob back in the car.” I picked up the heavy tote bag, but Luke took it out of my hand and swung the strap over his shoulder.
“Danny Bob?” he asked. “We were traveling with a country singer all this time?”
“The dog,” I explained. “Pal, stop leaving!”
“I’ve got it,” Luke said. “Charlie, attention! Dress right dress!”
“What does that mean?” Charlie asked excitedly.
“It means we’re going to walk together. Forward, march! A left, a left, a left, right, left,” Luke ordered.
I trailed after them with the lawn chairs, marching to my own drummer.
“Holy shit,” Luke muttered, staring at the quantity of people milling, sitting, swimming, and queuing up. “Charlie, halt! Mark time. That means march in place.”
“It’s like a swap meet, right?” I asked, gesturing to the crowd. The Mid-Michigan Invitational was even bigger than I had expected but while my first meet had been totally overwhelming, now I felt like an old pro.
“A what?” Luke asked blankly.
“Never mind. We have to get Charlie signed in,” I told him, and gripped the back of Charlie’s sweatshirt. “Lead the way, sweet pea.”
Charlie checked in at the desk for his races so he would be seeded in the heats, then we went to find the Shark parent area so we could drop our stuff and Charlie could go find his team’s lane in the pool to warm up before the meet began. “Luke!” I heard a voice call as we went into the gym.
It was a solid mass of parents planted in lawn and camping chairs, with bags and coolers, kids running around, and piles of gear. We wended our way through the crowd toward Annie, who was standing on her tiptoes and waving at us.
“You made it!” she said cheerfully, as Luke kissed her cheek. “How was the drive?”
“Easy,” he said. “Where are you sitting?” He put down the bag and took the chairs from me. “This place is a madhouse.”
“I’m going to walk him over to find the warm-up lane.
I have to keep an eye on the prize at these meets,” I said, gesturing at Charlie, who was already wandering away.
“He’s in the fourth event so we need to be ready.
I’ll check to see if they’ve posted anything yet,” I told Annie, who nodded.
Luke looked blank. “After the kids check in, the computer puts them in heats. Then the volunteers print out the heat sheets, and hang them around the pool and the swimmers can see what heat and lane they’ll be in for their events. Be right back.”
Luke was still looking lost as I walked away.
Good, I gave him something else to think about.
“Warm up’s in lane four,” Annie called, and I directed Charlie to the pool.
We found Coach Sean at the end of the lane and he fist bumped Charlie.
“Let’s get some dives in and do the warm-up we talked about, C Money. You ready to rock?”
“Yeah!” Charlie told him.
“Hit it then,” Sean said, and Charlie hurried to the line at the block to practice his dives.
“Emily, he’s in the medley relay, ok?” Sean mentioned, checking some scribbled writing on his clipboard.
“Um, will it be a problem for the relay if we aren’t staying for the finals?
” This meet had trials and finals: the top sixteen swimmers in each preliminary event in the morning (and two alternates) were supposed to come for a second mini-meet in the late afternoon (the finals).
The top relays competed in the finals also.
The winners of the finals got medals, which the kids loved.
Sean stared at me. “You’re not going to stay? You know he’ll probably be finaling in all his events, right?”
“I know, but we have to get home after preliminaries. I’m sorry.”
Coach Sean shook his head. “Ok, that’s fine. I’ll take him out of the relay.”
“Ok. Sorry,” I offered again. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and it was Tara.
She was over at my house and said that Cassie was “her usual sunshine self.” She planned to stay to help get her some lunch, and asked me to send pictures of Darby swimming because her husband Diego was “useless.” Diego, in fact, was awesome.
He left huge tips for me at Roy’s, which I interpreted as payoffs to keep his trips to the tavern on the downlow.
Macdara was swimming in the first event, so Luke came back over to the pool with Annie while Charlie darted to the gym to get his forgotten towel after the warm-up.
“Come right back,” I warned him. “RIGHT BACK.” I loaned Annie one of the Sharpies in my pocket so she could write the heat and lane on Macdara’s hand.
Once the anthem had been sung, the meet started moving fast. It was a huge pool, with eight lanes running on one end, and eight on the other.
I was busy watching Charlie, forcing him to eat bananas, and screaming my head off for him when he swam.
He was such a skinny little thing up on the block.
He clapped his hands and slapped his chest, just like Michael Phelps in the videos we had watched on YouTube.
All Charlie’s events were for boys aged ten and younger, but I swore that some of the ten-year-olds could have come into Roy’s and I never would have carded them.
“That kid in lane eight has a five o’clock shadow!” I hissed at Luke, who started laughing. “What the heck?! Is there any kind of age verification here?”