Chapter Twenty-Seven
Whitney
“Everything’s ready for her to be here, Ryan.”
I spin in a circle, eyeing what will be Stella’s nursery when she decides to come in December.
Who cares if I’m a few months early. Before I know it, September will be over and I’ll be looking down the barrel of my thirty-sixth birthday, wondering where all the time went.
If I can get as much done now as possible, that’s less I have to do later.
It looks exactly like I planned for it to.
Pink, white, and grey chevron on one wall, the other three walls alternating those colors.
The hardwood floor has the huge pink shag rug I wanted, a chandelier hangs from the ceiling.
The dresser and changing table are set up, the closet has clothes ready for her to wear.
Trevor, myself, and Ryan have done a lot of work, almost completely on our own.
It’s been fun, watching their friendship evolve.
“The only thing we’re missing is a crib.” I put my hands on my hips, with a frown on my face. It’s all we need to make this room perfect.
“It’s because we could never agree on one,” he reminds me.
His arms circle me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder. I turn so I can give him a smooch. “That’s because you didn’t like any of my ideas.”
“No babe, you didn’t like any of my ideas,” he accuses.
It’s then I notice right there where the crib should be, there’s a large structure with a white sheet over it. How I missed it before, I’m not sure, but I’m not as observant as I once was. “Ryan, what’s that?” I point to it, using our interlocked fingers.
His voice is shaky and unsure as he answers. “Why don’t you go look at it?”
Suddenly I’m nervous and I don’t even know why.
Something about the way he said the words has my heart ready to beat out of my chest, not sure if it’s adrenaline or anxiousness.
My feet feel heavy as I make my way over to whatever this is, but I feel Ryan’s arm behind me, offering me silent strength.
I look back at him, not sure what to do.
“Take the sheet off, Whit, it’s not gonna bite.”
With shaking hands I grip the sheet, pulling it off, letting it fall to the floor. Once it registers what it is, I turn to him, my mouth hanging wide open. “Did you make this?”
He turns me back around so that I’m facing the most beautiful crib I’ve ever seen. It’s got very distinctive woodwork, which makes me think Ryan has done this himself.
“Yeah,” he offers me a shy smile. I’ve never been able to see one of the pieces he’s made before.
Knowing he’s made this for our daughter?
It’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever felt in my life.
“It’s re-claimed barn wood. Before you worry that it doesn’t meet safety expectations, I have a friend in the industry that I talk to sometimes when I’m making custom pieces – he helped me get it up to code. It’s completely safe.”
The wood grain fits in amazingly well against the color and style of the nursery, giving it a country chic vibe. I can almost tell by looking at it how much love he put into every piece. It’s flowing from where it sits.
“I don’t even know what to say,” I fight back tears. This is one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. “It’s beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful, she’s beautiful, and the two of you are my world. I knew I had to give you the best, and if I make it with my own two hands, I know it’s the best.”
I turn around, grasping him in the strongest hug I can with my big belly between us. “This is the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me.”
He pulls back, dropping his hand to my stomach. “Good, because this is the best gift you could have ever given me.”
Renegade
To be honest, I’ve never given a fuck either way what people think of me.
I’ve always kind of stayed in my own lane and done things on my own time, at my own pace.
It’s never been that big of a deal, but to see Whitney cry over something I’ve made fills a hole in my heart I didn’t even realize I had.
This woman with her soft smiles, her stoic ways, and the passion with which she comes to me is enough to break me down.
It’s enough to make me want to tear down every single wall she has erected around her heart and beg her to let me in.
There have been times when I’ve seen her look at me, and I think it’s love in her eyes.
It’s something other than acceptance. I know at night when we sleep, she reaches for me whether she knows it or not.
She can start out on the other side of the bed, and by the time morning rolls around, she’s all the way next to me.
Her arms wrapped around my waist, her legs tangled in mine.
I do give a fuck what Whitney thinks about me.
And the way she stared at me, like I’d made her the happiest woman in the world, fills me with the most pride I’ve ever had in my life.
“You okay?” She asks when I stood there for too long without speaking.
For the first time in my life, I’m truly feeling like I could conquer the world and not do it on my own. “Just excited for her to be here, excited for us to be parents.”
“I am too, Ryan, more than you know.” She smiles at me with true happiness, and a pride I’ve never seen her have before. I put those emotions there, and it’s almost too much for me to bear.
“It just kinda hit me tonight, ya know? I’ve never really given a fuck what people think of me, but I care what you think about me.
I want to make Stella proud of me, want to be the type of father she’s proud to bring her friend’s home to meet.
I never wanted to bring my friends home to meet my dad or mom.
Hell, Tank’s only met them a handful of times, and how long have we been friends?
Most of our lives,” I stop a second and turn to face the door because I can’t stand the look on her face anymore.
I’m trying to keep my shit together. Obviously I didn’t realize how much it meant to me to explain myself to her. When I feel her arms come around my waist, I clasp my hands over hers.
“You never have to wonder about our daughter being embarrassed by her dad. Never. You’re one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met in my life. To come from the things you’ve dealt with to become the man you are today? You’re amazing, Ryan, and I’m lucky to have you in my life.”
I inhale deeply, facing her again, tilting her chin up. “I think we’re both pretty damn lucky.”
She doesn’t pull away when I fuse our lips together. I’m exactly right where I want to be and who I want to be. I hope like hell the same is true for her.