CHAPTER 17
I stood outside Lana’s door for a good minute before it opened, just a crack. Enough to reveal mussed hair and bare legs. Her skin glowed as she blinked sleepily at me.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You had sex last night.”
Lana shushed me, slipping outside to stand in the hallway.
“Is he still in there?” A grin plastered itself on my face at the panic in her eyes.
She swatted my arm, whispering, “Yes. What do you want?”
I laughed. “I just wanted to make sure we’re on track for our plan later.”
Lana groaned. “It’s six thirty, Lirah. Yes, we’re on track for our plan at twelve.”
“Alright, alright.” I held up my hands in surrender. “I’ll leave you to it then. Enjoy all the sex.”
Lana flushed beet red before slipping back into her room.
Calendula floated at my doorway, daintily, her wings stirring gently against the air.
She reminded me so much of Kilian that it hurt looking at her.
The events of last night irked me more than they should have.
Despite brushing my teeth for a full five minutes this morning and having an extra-long shower, I could still taste him on my tongue. I still felt him in my bones.
“What plan is this?” the shadow sprite asked.
I flipped my palm over for her to rest on it as I made my way past the dorms, to the staircase that would lead me to the mess hall.
“We’re going to speak to Augustine later.
He’s doing a signing at Pyxis. We’re hoping he might have some information on the third Trial.
You don’t happen to know anything about Cosanus, do you? ”
Calendula sighed. “I’ve already told you. I’ve been sworn to secrecy. It’s an oath stronger than even the link you share with Kilian. I do think that speaking to the historian will be beneficial, though.”
I gave her a resigned look, continuing up the stairwell until the mess hall came into view. The breakfast bell would not ring for another half-hour, but it appeared Rayna was an early riser. She sat at the table, an empty plate before her.
I stared at her for a moment, the way her shoulders sagged forward, the frown on her lips, her deadpan gaze at nothing in particular. Her youth was barely visible beneath the weight of stress and exhaustion.
I drew up the chair beside her and her eyes flicked to me.
“Never seen you up this early before,” she said by way of greeting.
“Sleep is a luxury these days.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Your group’s still whole,” I said. “That’s impressive.”
“It’s dumb luck,” she muttered. “I could have died so many times, and I keep seeing the alternate outcomes – the ones where I didn’t survive – in my head.”
“My brain is my own worst enemy sometimes as well.” I couldn’t give her some motivational speech on how to rewire her thoughts when I didn’t know how to do it myself.
There was clarity in her eyes when she looked at me. Certainty when she said, “It’s only a matter of time before our luck runs out. We are going to die here.”
A cold, hard fact.
“Maybe not.” I hated how much hope was in my voice.
It would make the inevitable disappointment hurt that much more.
“Augustine Devior will be at Pyxis today. He might be able to give us some information on the third Trial, on how he passed the Rite. We’re leaving the house at eleven thirty, if you want to come. ”
Rayna nodded slowly, still unconvinced. “Thanks for letting me know. Do you think he’ll be willing to speak to us, though?”
“Why wouldn’t he be?”
She shrugged delicately. “No one really seems to be in much of a rush to help us out.”
“You’re right,” I said. “But it’s worth a shot. We’re meeting in the courtyard if you decide to join us.”
I stood, my muscles groaning as I did. I needed to stretch or go for a walk. Anything that didn’t involve sitting around and waiting for eleven thirty. I was too restless and impatient this morning.
Exiting the mess hall, I took the steps down to the courtyard. It was early enough that the elven who usually brought the daily food deliveries still carted trays of vegetables inside the house. I passed them, heading toward the archway.
Cool wind whipped loose strands of hair across my cheek, and I lifted a hand to push them back. A soft touch caressed my exposed neck, and I whirled around, my hand reaching for the dagger I now kept pocketed at all times.
“Are you planning on using that against me?” Kilian murmured.
He stood a hairsbreadth away, and I cursed myself for being so oblivious that I had not noticed him trailing me through the courtyard.
The problem was that I felt him all the time.
Even when I didn’t want to. It was getting difficult separating his emotions from mine. Lately, they felt one and the same.
“If I need to, yes.”
“So vicious.” His lips quirked in a smile that made my heart flutter dangerously.
I banished thoughts of the previous night to the darkness, forgetting that everything that dwelled there belonged to him. “What are you doing here?”
His brow lifted. “In the courtyard of my own house?”
I rolled my eyes and he grinned.
“I told you last night, I have an appointment in Dalhur this morning. Or did that slip your mind?”
“My apologies. I guess your whereabouts just aren’t that noteworthy to me.”
Dark amusement flashed in his eyes. “I do wonder, are you ever going to tire of this charade? It must be exhausting pretending you don’t care.”
It was exhausting. And there were far greater problems in my life than whether Kilian Valhan knew I liked him, but he was an easy target for my rage, and I think he knew that too. Allowed me to channel some of my blistering anger onto him so it didn’t boil me alive.
“Tell me, is this the first time someone hasn’t been interested in you? Is that why you’re struggling to accept it?”
He laughed then, and it filled the cold courtyard with warmth. “I’m struggling to accept it because just last night you were sending me all sorts of different signals. I think you’re just scared to admit that you like me. Because that conflicts with everything you think you hate.”
I injected boredom into my voice as I said, “You would think with how busy you claim to be, you’d have more pressing things to do than make up scenarios in your head.”
“There’s nothing I enjoy more than making up scenarios. All of them involving you,” he said softly, in a way that had me picturing scenarios of my own. Him, no clothes, lightning flashing outside the windows.
I hated how effortlessly he dug his way beneath my skin, but gods, did it make me feel alive.
“You should get a move on to your meeting,” I said, forcing ice into my tone. “Unless you’d like to prove you can last longer than twenty seconds?” It was meant to be a barb dipped in venom but came out far more suggestive.
His grin vanished, replaced by something wild and starving. He lowered his head, lips angling millimeters away from mine. I sucked in a breath as he whispered, “In fact, I would like to prove that. Will you let me?”
I shivered at his request, aching for him to close the distance between us, but he pulled away, leaving me breathless.
“I’ll see you after lunch, Lirah. I can’t wait.” Kilian tossed over his shoulder as he disappeared past the archway.
By the time eleven thirty rolled around, I was an anxious wreck.
After my encounter with Kilian, I had paced the length of the courtyard, taken a brisk hike up the slope of the summits to the spot Septimus had shown me, watched the sun journey across Lomask and then returned to Valhan House to pester Moric for an hour.
He was sufficiently annoyed with me by the time we made our way to the courtyard to meet Lana and Rayna.
“Remind me again why you invited her?” Moric grumbled. He clearly still held a grudge against Rayna for whatever she had done to him during that first unofficial challenge.
I looped my arm through his. “Because she’s the entire reason we’re going to speak to Augustine. She has a right to join us.”
“She can go on her own,” he protested.
I clicked my tongue. “We’re down to the final eight. Harboring hate won’t get us anywhere. We should be working together to pass the final Trial.”
Moric muttered something incoherent but did his best to plaster a smile on his face. Rayna and Lana stood near the archway, both dressed in sparring leathers.
I gave Lana an apologetic look as I neared. “Sorry about this morning.”
She waved me off. “I need to update you later.”
“Please. I need all the details.”
She smiled, her entire face lighting up. Moric was right. Hate-sex really did do wonders for the skin.
Pyxis was swarming with elven by the time we entered the library.
Many milled around the reception, some studying the books that lined the staircase.
But most were already seated up on the fourth floor, where an area had been designated for the signing.
Plastic chairs littered the space and a podium stood at the front, a microphone affixed to its end.
Thick books towered on every inch of the table to its right, behind which Augustine Devior sat.
The male was as handsome as the photo on the bulletin board had suggested.
Despite knowing that he was older than seven decades, he didn’t look a day over twenty-seven.
His pale hair was slicked to the side, blue eyes assessing the gathering crowd.
He adjusted his lapel and stood, crossing to the dais.
He leaned forward slightly, his mouth close to the mic. “Testing, one, two, three.” The deep timbre of his voice echoed through the library, and he pressed a button at the base to decrease his volume. “Welcome and thank you for coming.”
Lana tugged at my elbow, pulling me toward a seat in the back row.