Chapter 7 Cordelia - Alvin
I'll fight, till from my bones my flesh be hacked
Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Miranda stayed the night, thank God. I was a fucking mess. I woke up so hungover and broken that I wouldn’t have moved unless she’d pushed me to get up and eat. I downed three juices and a coffee before I dared attack the fried breakfast she put before me.
“Did the asshole say when he’d be coming back or should I throw all of his shit on the front lawn?” Miranda asked. We didn’t talk much last night. I’d been too drunk and teary.
“He didn’t say. He just sputtered that he was sorry, he was in love with her and then they left. Together.” Between the hangover and the tears that I'd shed since last night, I had no liquid left to produce tears.
“Well, if you don’t want to see him, I’ll talk to him for you,” Miranda said firmly.
Randa was a total sweetheart, but she could turn into a viper quickly if someone hurt a loved one.
For her friends and family, she was fierce.
“I told Cameron I was going to be spending a lot of time with you. I can move in if you want. He’s furious by the way.
He offered to take him hiking up Bellinger’s Mountain.
” I laughed. Bellinger’s Mountain was known for its high incidence of climbing accidents.
“Thanks, but I have no idea what I’m doing.
I’m not leaving here. If I leave, he’ll just claim the house on the grounds that I abandoned it.
Fuck, I need legal advice. He put more money into this house than me, but we’re both on the title.
I shouldn’t have to leave. We haven’t done major stuff to the house, but I’ve done a heap in the garden and the minor renovation things we’ve done have been completed and funded 100% by me.
I shouldn’t have to walk away with nothing. ”
“No, you shouldn’t, and you won’t. Kick him out, then he’s the one who is technically ‘abandoning’ the relationship. Technically, my ass. He abandoned it in every way when he fucked Alvin the Chipmunk.”
We ate mostly in silence. Miranda tried to cheer me up and provoke my righteous anger, but I was still way too broken and hurt. She was telling me a funny story about her boss Leticia when we heard the front door. Slow footsteps sounded in the hall, like someone was approaching tentatively.
“You’ve got a fucking nerve showing that pointy little face in here,” Miranda snapped, looking over my shoulder. Her tone and her icy glare told me that Harrison was home.
“Miranda, I’m sorry. Can I speak to Cordelia please?”
“You’re not fucking sorry. You’re sorry you were caught. Pack your girly-ass shit and go back to your whore.”
“Randa,” I reached out and touched her arm. I had to do this at some point.
Miranda stood, stretching herself to her full height.
She drilled Harrison with the best stink eye I’d ever seen her produce (and that was saying something).
“I’ll be in Cordelia’s room burning sage.
Cordy, call me if you need me.” She left, knocking Harrison’s chest with her shoulder as she passed him.
Looking like the guilty piece of shit he was, Harrison sat across from me, pulling his hand through his hair.
“Cordelia, I never planned for this and I’m so sorry I hurt you, but I don’t love you anymore. Emma and I ... well, we met at the pharmacy. She’s an assistant ... she’s just right for me. It took us both by surprise. And us, well, we were becoming distant so I—"
“Becoming distant? That’s news to me. We were still having sex!
We were still socializing together. What had changed exactly?
” The tears started again. I hated this.
I hated looking weak in front of a man who no longer loved me.
Our relationship had not changed in any way that I noticed. When did this happen?
“How long, Harrison?”
“Only a month … and a bit. I swear to you, and we’ve only been ... making love for two weeks. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“So, fucking another woman in my bed wasn’t going to hurt me as long as I didn’t know?”
He looked down at the remnants of Randa’s breakfast.
“Was that the first time in our house?” I asked.
“No. It’s ... it’s always been at our house,” he said quietly, like it was killing him to admit it. “She lives with her parents, so we always ... we had to ...” he trailed off.
“Fuck, Harrison. Her parents? How old is she?”
“She’s 19 ... in April.”
“In April? So barely 18? You are fucking pathetic. You’re 26, nearly 27! She’s virtually a child. You're such a cliche. I’ll go out with Miranda today. I want you and your shit gone by the time I get home.”
He was quiet for a moment, then he shot me a look of utter disbelief.
“I’m not leaving, Cordy. I paid for—"
“My name is Cordelia.”
“I paid most of the deposit Cordelia. You can’t even afford the mortgage repayments on your own. You can’t stay here.”
“I can, with roommates. Why, you want to move your new girlfriend in?”
He shifted his eyes to the wall behind me, his silence telling me everything.
“Holy shit, you are going to move her in! We waited a year before moving in with each other, and you and Alvin are just charging straight ahead?” My mouth was hanging open.
“Alvin? Her name is Emma. Look Cordelia, I don’t want to argue. I’m sorry I hurt you but it’s over now and all we can do is move on. Think logically. You can’t afford to live here. Move in with Miranda for a while until you get back on your feet. I’ll give you enough for a bond for a new rental.”
“No, you’ll give me way more than that. You’ll give me at least the $15K I put into the deposit, plus the value of the improvements I’ve made here. And a little extra in asshole tax.”
“No, I’ll give you a bond. You may have kicked in for the deposit, but I’ve always earned more than you, so I think you need to cut me some slack given I’ve paid for so much in our relationship.”
“We shared money, Harrison! That was your choice. ‘Let’s just share, Cordy. What’s mine is yours’” I mimicked, giving him the most unmasculine falsetto tone I could manage. Damn, that was good. I could sing for the Bee Gees.
“You’re being unreasonable because you’re hurt, I get that. But what are you going to do Cordelia? You want to get lawyers involved?”
This man was heartless. He knew I couldn’t afford a lawyer, and he knew I’d never ask my parents to pay for one. He was relying on my hurt, my vulnerability, all so he could have the house for the price of a rental bond. So he could share it with manky Emma.
“No. No lawyers. My name is on the deed. 50% owner, do you remember? You can’t kick me out. Looks like you’ve got yourself a roomie, Romeo.”
His face hardened. His previous sympathetic expression evaporated as he realized I wasn’t going anywhere.
“I’m not leaving either Cordelia. And Emma is moving in. You’re going to keep hurting yourself, living in our space, just to prove a point?”
I assumed by “our,” he was referring to him and Emma, not him and me. We were no longer an “our.”
“I’m not proving a point. I’m trying to cash out of a very poor investment. Pay me out and I’ll sign over my half of the house.”
Harrison narrowed his eyes, the face I thought I loved looking hard, cold, and twisted.
“Have it your way Cordelia. Emma will be moving in tomorrow.”
He stormed out of the house, slamming the door so hard the walls seemed to vibrate. I fell to the floor sobbing and wrapping my arms around myself.
Miranda crept in, lowering herself to hug me in the tightest embrace I’d ever felt.
“You know I’m a bit of an earwig,” she whispered. “I listened in. Can you really do this, Cordy? I’m all for fucking this asshole up, but not at the cost of you."
I didn’t answer. I just kept crying in her arms.
“How could he do this Miranda? How can he just stop loving me?” I wept. I felt inadequate, small, and pathetic. Apparently I wasn’t even worth a fair payout.