Chapter 21
COOPER
Ryan’s not in his office, and I can’t find him anywhere. He led our morning meeting, but after that, he just disappeared. I knock on Genevieve’s office door, and she gestures for me to come in. I lean in, keeping my tone casual. “Hey, do you know where Ryan is?”
She shakes her head. “He’s not here. Took the afternoon off. We’re both scheduled to conference into a meeting with the executive team at four. I assume he’ll be back by then.”
“Okay. Thanks,” I say, nodding.
She raises an eyebrow. “Anything I can help you with?”
“No. I needed to talk to him about the expansion.” It’s true, but it’s hardly urgent. I don’t really have a reason to be looking for him—other than the fact that I want to see him. I want to hear his voice, see his smile. After his text last night, I can’t stop thinking about him. Spending the entire weekend at home with Brad left me feeling claustrophobic. I need a reason to stay late tonight, to work, to not be at my house—to be around Ryan.
Back in the lounge, I sprawl across the sofa, pulling out my phone.
Cooper: Hey VP, where are you? Was hoping we could discuss our next steps with the new property in Austin tonight.
I place my phone face-up next to me, laptop open, and force myself to work. But I’m glancing at my phone every few minutes, driving myself crazy, waiting for a response. Nothing.
Is he mad at me? Did I come off too strong last night? Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that last text—the one about his text turning me on. But my God, that shook me in the best way.
Two hours later, he still hasn’t texted back. I’m going to go insane. I force myself to take a lunch break.
By the time I get back, he still hasn’t responded, and my mind is spiraling into ridiculous scenarios. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed him in the pool. Or maybe I should have kissed him again in the hallway. What if he got back together with his wife? Shit. He’s probably with her right now. I can’t even be upset about that—if anything, I feel bad for both of them. Meanwhile, I’m stuck in hell at home—arguing with Brad, faking orgasms, and clinging to the one thing we have left: sex. But even that’s taken a turn for the worse.
Jesus, I’m a mess .
The rest of the day flies by, and by five, I’m walking toward Ryan’s office again, butterflies in my stomach. I know this feeling all too well—that buildup before something good… or bad happens. I round the corner and practically bump right into him.
“Oh, hey!” I say. “I was looking for you.”
“Hey. I was just coming to find you to talk about tonight. Sorry, I didn’t text back.”
“That’s okay. Where’d you go?”
He gestures to his office. “Let’s go in my office.”
I follow him inside, and he shuts the door. God, he looks like pure sin in that crisp white shirt—sleeves rolled up just enough to show off his strong, tanned forearms. The way his blue pants hug his thighs, leaving just enough to the imagination, but not really—I know exactly what he’s working with, and it’s enough to make my knees weak. Damn, he looks good.
My mind spirals with dirty thoughts of him stepping behind me, pushing me up against his desk, and taking exactly what he wants. I wish these walls weren’t glass. Jesus . Last night, I had a good-looking naked man on top of me, and I felt nothing. But now, just seeing Ryan—fully clothed in his office—I’m ready to rip his clothes off. It’s not just the physical with him, though. There’s this raw pull I feel in my chest, a breathlessness when he’s near. I want him to pull me close. To look at me. To listen. I want to be intimate with him in every way. God, what is happening to me?
He takes a seat, and I settle in across from him.
“What’s going on? Everything okay?” I ask, desperate to distract myself.
“Yeah, everything’s good. I was just at a follow-up appointment with Beth.”
“Oh, you were? How did it go?” I swallow, steadying myself, shutting down the dirty thoughts running rogue in my mind. We’re talking about Beth—cancer. It’s not the time.
“On the outside, things are looking good. We won’t get her scan results for a few days, but… we’re hopeful things are still on the up and up.”
“Well, that’s great. I’ll send good vibes,” I say, a smile playing on my lips.
He chuckles. “Everything should work out then if you’re sending those good vibes.”
“Good vibes usually work… So, what will you do if all the scans come back… you know, with good news?”
“I’ll serve Beth papers,” he says, his voice flat.
I glance down at my fidgeting fingers. “And what if it’s…” I look up, making eye contact. “What if it’s bad news?”
He holds my eyes, unwavering. “Then I’ll serve Beth papers.”
The intensity of his gaze makes my breath hitch. “Oh,” I manage, my voice unsteady. “What about the insurance?”
“Beth got a new job a few months ago. She wanted to simplify things… especially after she had an affair with her boss.” He lets out a frustrated sigh, and his hand brushing over his jaw. “I know she was hoping I’d stay, but…” He trails off. “Anyway, once the new year starts, she’ll switch to her insurance.”
The way he says it—matter-of-fact, not bitter—makes my chest ache. How is he this good? This strong? If I were him, I’d be wrecked—I am wrecked. He’s nothing like Brad. Beth was so damn lucky, and she threw it all away. She threw him away. And me? I’m just… weak.
“Look, I wanted to tell you…”
A rush of nerves tighten in my stomach, and tears threaten—tears I can’t even place. If I don’t get out of here, I’m going to lose it. “Shit,” I blurt, glancing at my watch. “I totally forgot—I told Jason I’d meet him before he heads out. Are you staying after to discuss Austin?”
“Yeah, does that work for you? If you want to get home to Brad, I understand.”
He’s probing, trying to gauge where things stand with Brad. “Brad won’t be home until late. I’m good to stay.”
“Alright. I should be done by five-thirty. We need to plan our next trip out for interviews. Genevieve’s vetting candidates over the next few weeks.”
I nod, emotion sitting in the back of my throat. “I’ll see you in a bit,” I manage to choke out, reaching for the door. I don’t dare look back as I make my exit, shutting the door before he can respond as a tear slips down my cheek.
* * * * * ? * * * * *
We’ve been working for over an hour at Viv’s. I nurse my second cocktail, a strong buzz setting in. Ryan’s on his second beer, looking more relaxed than I’ve seen him all week. I’ve always been attracted to him, but since the pool, our come-to-Jesus at the hotel bar, and that text message the other night, I’m a mess of nerves and raw need around him.
It’s been a long damn week, and he’s been on my mind constantly—whether I’m at work, finding excuses to be near him, or lying in bed replaying every word he’s said.
When I’m alone at night, the thoughts become something else entirely. His hands on me, his voice, the way he looks at me—it’s all-consuming. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve given in to the ache, imagining it’s him instead of my own hands—or Brad’s.
We laugh, we banter, and I can’t help but flirt with him—it’s just too much fun. I feel good when I’m around him, better than I’ve felt in a long time. And as much as I hate to admit it, he’s become a good friend—one of my closest friends.
I’ve only ever confided in Casey, but I find myself sharing more and more with Ryan. It’s nice. I haven’t had anyone else in years. Brad doesn’t like me spending time with other people—he always has some excuse, some way to make it feel like I’m doing something wrong. And when I did try to open up to my old friends, they were relentless, constantly pointing out all the things I couldn’t bring myself to see.
Eventually, I stopped trying. It was easier to let the friendships fade than to keep defending something I wasn’t sure I believed in myself. That’s why it’s easy to have my tennis friends. We just play tennis—no deep talking, no uncomfortable questions. They usually go to lunch after, but I head home, avoiding the awkward conversation.
I’ve started looking for apartments—just to see what’s out there. If moving in with my mom becomes my only option, I know I’ll never break things off with Brad. She and I do not get along. We’ve been butting heads for as long as I can remember, screaming at each other almost daily in high school. Between me blaming her and my rebellious nature, we never stood a chance. I have to find something else.
Brad left for New York this morning, and tomorrow I leave for California for Christmas. The past three nights with him have sucked the life out of me. He’s been more possessive, more jealous, more paranoid than ever. And when he gets like that, he needs more sex. Three nights of constant arguing, yelling, throwing things, and meaningless sex—ending with me crying myself to sleep. It’s hitting me now, harder than ever, just how unhealthy this has become.
I want out. I need out. No matter how terrified I am, I’m determined to find a way. But leaving Brad wouldn’t be clean—it never could be. He wouldn’t let me walk away unscathed, happy, or free. And the thought of what that might cost—my job, Ryan, everything—I shove it down before it can consume me.
I know Ryan won’t cross the line. It’s one of the things I admire most about him. He’s honorable; he does the right thing. But me? God, between my trust issues and my constant need to justify my actions, that line between right and wrong feels fuzzier every day.
I watch Ryan, his focus shifting from me to his laptop, then back to me, frustration evident. I lean back in my chair, nudging his foot under the table—lightly, almost absently—while I stretch. “You look so serious,” I tease, grinning as I catch his eye.
He lets out a deep exhale. “Sorry, I’m distracted.”
“What’s going on?”
He checks his watch. “Um… it’s nothing. Sorry.”
I scowl at him. “Don’t say it’s nothing when it’s clearly something. I know you better than that.”
He hesitates, meeting my gaze. He’s acting weird. “Fine. It’s just… I have a date tonight. And… I’m nervous, I guess.” I try to hide my surprise and disappointment as he continues. “It’s been a while since I’ve taken someone new on a date.”
Well, shit. My stomach twists, the grin frozen on my face as I try to process his words. Of course he’s trying to move on. What did I expect—that he’d sit around and wait for me while I can’t even decide what it is that I want? Or when I don’t have the balls to do the same? But still… it stings. More than I want to admit.
He glances at me, a look of resignation on his face. “Sorry… I wasn’t going to tell you about it.”
I attempt to play it cool. “Why weren’t you going to tell me?”
He shrugs, looking almost guilty. “I don’t know. I didn’t want things to be… weird between us.”
“Weird? Why would I care if you’re dating someone?” I flash a smile, ignoring the knot twisting tighter in my stomach. “I mean, I’m happy for you. Really.”
His eyes narrow slightly, searching my expression. “Yeah?”
“Of course. I just hope she’s not boring.” I give him a teasing grin, raising an eyebrow. “I doubt she’s as much fun as I am.”
He raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Oh, you think you’re hard to beat?”
I lean in a little closer. “I mean… I’d be surprised if she could match the kind of fun we had in the pool… And don’t even get me started on Newport. But hey, maybe you’ll get lucky.”
He lets out a soft chuckle. “Oh, I think she could surprise you,” he replies, a bit more smugly than before. “She looks pretty hot. A gymnast too—flexible.” He waggles his brows.
I smother a laugh, but as his words sink in, my confidence wavers. Okay, I guess this is how I handle jealousy—turn it into a game, throw in some jokes, and hope he doesn’t notice how much it’s killing me inside. God, I hate how much I want him to only want me.
“Aren’t you worried she might be catfishing you?” I quip, keeping my voice light.
“Nah. She’s got a lot of pics on her profile, and she’s consistently good-looking in all of them. Body looks phenomenal. I bet she’s great in bed.” He smacks his lips together, biting back a grin and raising his brows. He’s trying his best to get under my skin. And it’s working, but I can play this game too.
“Well, good for you, Ryan. You might finally get your dick wet. If you’re lucky, she might give you a night that’s… almost memorable.” I add a small laugh, but my pulse is racing—praying she doesn’t give him so much as a kiss. “I hope you don’t end up lying there wishing it was me.” I flash him a grin as I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms.
He chuckles wickedly. “Oh, I already know you’ll be under your covers tonight with your vibrator, jealous, thinking of me while Brad’s out of town.”
He’s not wrong, but this time, I’m not afraid to own it. I raise my brows. “Wouldn’t be the first time this week. Last night I had a wild little fantasy—three words, Ryan: office, desk, you.” I say in a sultry voice, feeling smug as hell.
“Jesus Christ.” He glances down, clearing his throat. “Are you ever going to break up with Brad?” he says seriously, a smile tugging at his lips, his gaze locking on mine.
The way he asks it, with a longing in his eyes and desire in his voice—it catches me off guard. “I don’t know. I want to.” I shift uncomfortably. “Did you leave your wife yet?”
“Yeah… I did.”
His answer knocks the wind out of me. “Really?” I ask softly.
He nods. “I moved out on Sunday. Beth and I are done. There’s no point in dragging it out anymore. I tried to tell you the other day, but you rushed out.” He pauses. “I’m staying with Leo and Vivian while I look for a new place. It sucks, but I know it’s the right thing to do for me… and for Beth.”
He hesitates, then adds quietly, “I just… couldn’t keep living in limbo.” He glances down at the table, then back up at me. “I guess I just realized how unhappy I’ve been… how badly I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me.”
Oh, shit. Does he mean me? I feel my heart rate spike.
Ryan takes a deep breath. “I guess what I’m saying is… I’m ready to move forward. And…” He hesitates, his sexy smolder taking over as he chews on the inside of his cheek, something he does when he’s nervous or deep in thought. “I don’t know… Maybe you deserve that too, Cooper.”
The implication of his words sends a tingly sensation through my body, but it also makes my chest feel tight.
“Ryan, I…” I start, then stop, uncertain. Do we have to talk about this right now? Can’t we just sneak off somewhere and do it—see if this is real or if we just need to get this sexual tension out of our systems? I look at him, taking a breath. “Did you leave Beth for me?” My voice is small, uncertain.
He ponders this for a moment. “No,” he says, his voice steady. “I didn’t leave for you. I would have left Beth anyway, that's been the plan all along. I left for all the right reasons; I know that. But…” He looks away for a second before locking eyes with me again, a small, self-deprecating smile on his lips. “I can’t help but hope you’ll decide to leave Brad.”
My breath catches. Holy shit. Ryan wants me to break up with Brad so he can be with me? My brain can barely process it. God, I don’t deserve someone like him. Ryan’s moral compass is rock-solid, and mine has been cracked for a long time now.
“I don’t know what to say,” I murmur, searching his face for answers he doesn’t have. “I’m scared.” I admit, exhaling slowly. “I can’t leave right now, not before the holidays. Brad’s meeting me in Newport next week, and it’s just not the time to be alone or find a new place.” I lean back, as if convincing myself. “But I will… soon.”
Ryan holds my gaze, a flicker of doubt in his eyes as if he can already see through my excuses. He swallows, his voice gentle. “Okay… It’s your life. I just want you to be happy. You deserve that. You know that, right?”
I scoff, barely meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”
Ryan shakes his head, looking almost defeated, as if I just crushed his last hope. “Everyone deserves to be happy, Cooper.” He swallows, pausing. “We have work to do. Let’s get back to it.”
We work in silence for about ten minutes, but my mind won’t stop racing. He wants to be with me. And he’s taking another woman out on a date? Finally, I can’t hold back. “Where are you taking your date?” I ask, curious—and obviously envious as hell.
“I’m just meeting her for a drink at a bar Leo recommended. Apparently, it’s best to keep things casual at first, feel out the chemistry before committing to a full-blown dinner.”
I smile, though it aches a bit. “That sounds nice. I’m sure she’ll have a great time—it’d be hard not to with you. I hope you have fun.” And I do mean it, even though I wish it were me.
Ryan raises a brow. “Wow. Thank you. I know that couldn’t have been easy to say.”
“Why would that be hard for me to say?” I spit out defensively. “I’m not a total asshole. I care about you—I want you to be happy.”
He grins. “Even if you’re jealous, wishing it were you on the date?”
“I’m not jealous.” I scowl. “Besides, like you said, I’ll have my vibrator. I’ll be perfectly content.”
“Content?” His grin widens. “Then you must not be fantasizing about me. If you were…” He leans closer, voice dropping. “You’d be more than content.”
“You’re awfully confident in your ability to get someone off without being present. Trust me, I’ll be more than content.” I bite my lip, debating how far to take this. “Like I said, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve made an appearance in my fantasies. You’re getting good at knowing what I like.”
“Don’t lie. You’re just fucking with me.”
“Am I?” I lean in. “Some days, you look so good at work, I can’t wait to get home and be alone.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Are you serious? Do you have any idea what that does to me, Cooper?” He exhales. “You shouldn’t be telling me this.”
I raise a brow, feigning innocence. “Why? Does it turn you on?”
His eyes darken, and I can see his control slipping. “You thinking about me when you touch yourself?” He leans in closer, his voice a low murmur. “Of course it turns me on… You’ve gotta stop messing with me like this because I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.”
I hold his gaze, letting the heat between us simmer. “So… you don’t want me thinking about you when I touch myself?” I’m laughing inwardly at the torment I’m putting him through—it's so fun, and he’s so close to breaking.
He groans softly, and so obviously rearranges his dick that I have to bite back a laugh. “We shouldn’t be talking about this, Cooper.” He drags a hand over his face. “We’re at work. This could blow up in both our faces.”
As if that’s ever stopped us.
I keep my tone light and easy. “We’re just talking, Ryan. You asked a question, and I answered.”
“You are such a fucking tease.”
I smirk. “Good thing you have that date tonight. It might help you get rid of all this… pent-up tension.” I slip off my shoe, dragging my foot slowly up his calf. “I’ve got plans for mine.”
He jerks his foot away, and I can’t tell if he’s pissed or so turned on he’s barely holding it together. “Jesus, Cooper. I can’t have you tempting me like this unless you’ve broken it off with Brad.” His voice is low, restrained. “I’m not that guy. But I only have so much willpower… Don’t start games you can’t finish.”
I trail my fingers to the top button of my blouse, watching his jaw tighten as I test his limits. I pop the button open slowly. “Who said I don’t plan to finish?” God, this is too easy.
“You live with another man,” he says sternly. “And if I’m doing this, I’m all in. I’m not sharing you—not only because it’s wrong, but because I want all of you. No games. Period. It’s him or me. Your choice.”
He turns back to his laptop while his words soak into me like a drug hitting my bloodstream. All of me? My stomach flips, a mix of excitement and fear. This isn’t the playful Ryan I’m used to—this is him being real. He’s serious. He wants me to leave Brad… for him. But what if the second I walk away, he loses interest? What if this is all about getting me into bed, and once he does, it’s over? Just like everyone else.
Except Ryan’s not like everyone else. At least, I don’t think so.
God, it’d be so much easier if I could just have him on the side. No complications. No heartbreak. Just Ryan when I need him. But that’s not how life works. He’s not a goddamn bandaid—he’s a person. A really great person.
I swallow hard, my heart pounding. “Do you really mean that?”
His eyes lock on mine, intense, serious. “What do you think?”
It’s strange how comfortable I feel staring into his eyes, holding his gaze. But as my pulse races and a twinge of panic builds, I find myself deflecting. Before I even realize it, I’m making a joke, trying to break the tension because I don’t know how to handle it.
“You sure you don’t want to cancel your date? The bathrooms would be perfect for a quickie.” I tease, leaning forward, my blouse dipping just enough to give him a good look. “You really going to wind me up like this and send me home to my vibrator?”
He scoffs, clearly unimpressed. “You’re unbelievable. So what, I either fuck you, or you’ll keep torturing me and go home to your fiancé?”
I cross my legs deliberately, letting a playful smile spread. “If that’s how you want to put it… then yes, that’s exactly how it’s going to be.”
He lets out a low chuckle, his gaze darting briefly to my chest before meeting my eyes again. “Fine,” he murmurs. “You wanna play games? Let’s play games.”
His voice drops, his tone darker now. “Then I hope you think about all the dirty things I’d do to you while Brad’s on top of you. Like bending you over my desk, taking you from behind. Or how a girl in college once told me I was so good at eating pussy, I ruined her for life.”
Oh, sweet Jesus. What is he doing?
“But you remember, don’t you? You came… how many times was it again? Five?” He leans back, a smirk pulling at his lips. “I lost track, honestly. I was too busy memorizing the sweet sounds of you coming in my ear.” He straightens, snapping his laptop shut with purpose. “Seems like I might actually enjoy this little game you’re playing. I’m free now, Cooper, nothing holding me back. Got a date with Liz tonight.” He glances at his watch. “In fact, it’s time for me to go meet her. If I managed to get someone as stunning as you into bed on the first try, I’m sure that Liz won’t be hard to convince. Meanwhile, you get to go home to your vibrator… or worse, Brad.”
My body reacts instantly: a steady thrum builds between my thighs, my pulse races, and my breaths become shallow.
Fuck.
As he stands, he leans in close, his breath warm against my ear. “Hope he makes you come as much as I do.” He pulls back, flashing that teasing grin. “You’re right; this will be fun. I’ve gotta go. Maybe I’ll fuck Liz so well, it’ll push you out of my goddamned mind.”
I quickly shove my things into my bag and follow him, catching up at the elevator. I grab his arm, my gaze locked on his. “You won’t, though,” I say, trying to keep my tone confident. “You’ll end up going home to jerk off.”
The elevator doors slide open, and Ryan stabs the button for the lobby as we enter.
Damn. What if he clicks with this girl?
“Won’t I?” he says confidently.
I take a breath, steadying myself. “No, you won’t.” I force a small smile, as if I’m sure of it—even if a part of me isn’t. He wants me. He’s made that clear. But now, there’s competition.
With a surge of boldness, I shove him against the elevator wall as the doors close. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I press my body flush against his. “You’ll be too busy wishing it was me on this date, and when you get home, you’ll jerk off to thoughts of me… my mouth on your cock, sucking you so deep you wouldn’t last a minute. I bet that’s all you’ll think about tonight—the way I’d take you, the sounds I’d make, and how I’d swallow every drop when you come.” I pause, leaning into his ear, and whisper, “You remember how good I am too, don’t you, Ryan?”
He swallows, hard.
The elevator dings, and I step back, patting his chest like I’ve already won. “Good luck getting Liz to take me off your mind tonight. I’ll be waiting to hear all about it tomorrow,” I say, biting my lip to hold back a grin, my voice dripping with seduction.
I turn to leave, but before I can take a step, he grabs my arm and pulls me back, slamming the “close door” button with his fist. The doors shut, and in an instant, he’s pressing me against the wall, one hand pinning my wrist above my head, the other gripping my waist. His breathing is ragged, mirroring mine, his eyes wild and dark, blazing with an intensity that sends a shiver down my spine. Our lips hover close—if either of us moved even an inch, they’d meet.
Time seems to stand still. My head spins, and I can’t bear the anticipation. My free hand glides along his bicep as I tilt my head up, letting my lips brush against his as I murmur, “Ryan…”
His eyes squeeze shut, a low growl escaping as he pulls back just enough to mutter, “What the fuck are you doing, Cooper?” His voice is tight, raw with frustration. “You can’t keep fucking with me like this.”
His hand slides down my arm, his fingertips skimming my collarbone, grazing over the curve of my throat. My pulse hammers against his touch, and I can’t catch my breath. This is pure, agonizing torture in the best way. His finger trails lower, just skimming the edge of my bra, lighting fire under my skin. Instinctively, I arch toward him, my chest brushing his hand as his hard-on presses against me. Every inch of me is screaming for more of his touch—of him.
But just as quickly, he pulls back—just far enough that I can’t reach him. He’s taunting me, leading this push and pull like it’s a game he’s determined to win. His hand slides to the back of my neck, his thumb brushing along my jaw. He leans in, whispering against my lips. “God, you turn me on.” And then, in one swift motion, his lips crash into mine, rough and demanding. He doesn’t just kiss me—he claims me, seizing control. It’s possessive. It’s fierce. It’s sexy as hell.
I forget to breathe.
His tongue sweeps across mine, his mouth crushing against me, deeper, hungrier. His hand finds my waist, pulling me roughly to him—his cock pressing perfectly into me, sending a surge of desire low in my stomach. I push into him, and he groans, a sound that sends shivers racing down my spine. His hand slides lower, fingers brushing my upper thigh, his thumb grazing that sensitive spot between my leg and the pulsing ache.
My breath catches, my body arching instinctively, desperate for more.
He obliges—barely. His fingers skim over the sensitive center, light as a feather, tracing the inseam of my pants with maddening slowness, teasing me to the point of trembling, nearly undoing me. I’m shaking, aching for him to go further, to let this spiral into exactly what we both want. A whimper slips from my lips, unbidden. “Ryan.”
But then he stops, his eyes meeting mine, dark and intense, his chest rising and falling as if he’s as affected as I am.
“Unless you’ve broken up with Brad…” His voice is low, dangerous, trembling with restraint. “Don’t. Fuck. With me, Cooper.”
He slams the “open door” button, and before I can say a word, he storms out, leaving me up against the elevator wall, breathless, stunned, and completely shaken. His scent lingers, and my heart races. Every nerve in my body feels wired—restless, unsatisfied, and craving more.
“Holy shit,” I whisper shakily. “Holy fucking shit.” I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly as I grip the elevator wall, my heart still pounding. The doors close, and I don’t even care where I’m going as the elevator rises. What the hell was that? I’m delirious, dizzy, still turned on. Jesus , I’m heading into my holiday break with that mindfuck? I’m so totally screwed.