Epilogue - A Plan #2
"Does he make you laugh?" Pa repeated, looking up at Sten. "You've always been a bright light in our lives, kiddo. Your Ma and I used to joke that you were born laughing. You deserve a …a someone who can be that for you as well."
"He does," Sten replied, a small smile curving his lips.
"And… what about children?"
Sten rolled his eyes. "I have eight brothers and sisters. You'll not want for grandchildren."
But Pa just shook his head. "Not for me. For you. I'll admit, they're a handful to manage when they're young, but they grow on you. Frustrate you, surprise you, amaze you sometimes, frankly. I hate for you to miss out on that."
"That life's not for me," Sten said simply, glossing over entire volumes of nuance his dad likely wouldn't understand even if Sten was interested in bringing it up with him. "Especially not if it means giving up Rask."
"But…you're happy?"
"Happier than I think I've ever been," Sten replied honestly. "Though I'd be happier still if I didn't think it… that I distressed you so."
Pa sighed, tipping his head back against the crate and closing his eyes. "When I first held you; when you would skin your knees as a boy; when your mother and I would dream by the winter's fire of the man you might become…I admit, this is not what I expected."
He'd opened his eyes, meeting Sten's own with an even gaze.
Sten swallowed harshly, his fingers going numb and cold. "I…see," he said, drawing back, fighting the shakiness creeping into his words. "I won't lie and tell you I'm sorry, but — "
"No," Pa said quickly, urgently, "No, you misunderstand me.
Your Ma and I, we've …wondered. Especially when you started spending so much time up on the mountain.
Never quite knew how to ask, and you never seemed to have an interest in sharing, so…
We waited. Tried to let you figure out things in your own way.
And if that ever caused you to fear or doubt our love for you, then I'm the one who's sorry.
I may not be able to understand the, uh, the draw.
But that doesn't mean we love you any less," Pa said, shifting forward to rest his hand on Sten's ankle.
The same one he'd twisted, Sten's mind couldn't help but supply, there on Rask's mountain. The same one Rask had healed all those years ago.
Pa sighed, leaning back again. "I was only trying to say that, we might need you to help us paint new dreams. You and…Rask. And I can only hope you'll forgive me when I get things wrong."
"Only if you promise to do the same for me," Sten replied, his mouth unbearably dry.
"Well, that's just called parenting." Pa laughed.
Holding up the ball of wool in its brilliant courting blue, he cocked his head curiously.
"Do you know any of their wedding customs? I’m not sure what to expect having a bergsr? for a…
a son-in-law, much less — you said that misthing in the pub killed his previous mate?
Gods, a son-in-law who's older than I am. "
"Yeah, it's… there's a lot to wrap the mind around," Sten admitted.
"I'll say," Pa nodded, then sobered. "Have you considered what happens when he outlives you?"
Sten looked away. "I'm…not sure. I've sent letters to some mages, but I haven't talked to him about it. Not yet. Sometimes I worry that once I ask, that's all he'll be able to see when he looks at me. So… I don't. Is that terribly selfish?"
"I think future worries are a poor excuse not to take your joys where you find them now," Pa said. "And with any luck, you two will have a number of years to discuss it."
Sten grinned. He could only hope.
"So, uh… do you need some help with this thing?" Pa said, gesturing with the ball of wool.
"Oh gods, please," Sten groaned, scrubbing his face with his hand. "I'm completely lost."
"You never could sit still for mending in the evenings," Pas recalled fondly. "Or anything else with yarn or string. But put a whittling knife and a bit of oak in your hands and you'd have us an entire set of spoons within a week."
Sten just smiled at him, warmth suffusing his chest as he watched Pa work.
"And you know there's one more thing, right?" Pa said, the little wooden hook catching and looping and catching and looping the wool in its dance as he spoke.
"More?" Sten gaped, feeling pretty well wrung out at this point. "What more could there be?"
"Our eldest son apparently intends to get married," Pa said, offering a lopsided smile as he gestured with the wool.
"You really think I'm going to be able to keep this from your mother?
That woman can scent a secret at a hundred paces; I've not managed to surprise her with a single Ságastine gift the entire time I've known her.
Man to man: promise me that you and Rask won't go haring off to get wed without her, or I'll never hear the end of it. "
"Uh, uh — alright. No secret weddings, I promise," Sten grinned, reaching to take the now well-started ribbon Pa held out for Sten to finish.
"Better yet, why don't you bring Rask down here to the village Várast?ng and let her tie the red ribbon around your wrists herself?" Pa mused, tilting his head to oversee Sten's far less steady attempt. "We can all toast to your happiness, after, just like we did for your sister and Lars."
But then Pa frowned lightly, his forehead creasing.
"Presuming you'd want us throwing the party for you, of course.
Not sure how the bergsr? go about it and, well — I know it's traditionally the bride's family who hosts, but uh…
" Pa spread his hands, obviously at a loss.
"Don't have to, if it's a problem for you, though.
Or if you'd feel someone might see it as, uh — "
"That'd be fine, Pa," Sten reassured him in a dry whisper, staring hard at the wool in his hands. "Anyone who'd come to a wedding and still speak ill of the grooms isn't someone who's judgment I'd put much faith in anyway. Besides, you know Ma loves any excuse to dance."
He looked up when Pa nudged his foot with his own; easily reading the worry etched in those oh-so-familiar eyes.
"You sure you don't mind?"
With a grin threatening to split his face, Sten shook his head furiously. No, he didn't mind that at all.
"Because I'd hate for you to feel as if you have to on our account," Pa said, his voice low.
"You can say no. Or we'll do something else if you like.
Just tell us what'll make you and, er… this Rask fella of yours happy.
But your Ma and I… Well, we'd want to celebrate you two, same as any of our children. "
"No, it's — That would make me happy, Pa. All of it, just as you said. Just never thought I'd get any of it. Doesn't mean I don't want it, though. Rask too, I'm sure of it," Stan said, swallowing past the lump in his throat.
"Then you'd best rework that section. Give him a courting ribbon to be proud of," Pa said, pointing out a snarl Sten had missed a dozen stitches or so back. "Mistide won't last forever, then you'll be up that mountain of yours again, eh?"
Nodding, Sten smiled as he bent eagerly to his task, his mind now — impossibly, unexpectedly, gloriously — filled with plans.
Not ready to leave a Sunless Land just yet?
A whole new adventure takes flight in…