Chapter 4
Tawny
I get restless just sitting in the cab of the truck. Russett doesn’t help, coming to my door and whining, running away and coming right back bringing a stick I suppose he wants me to throw. Gerdie said it was safe here.
After I exit the truck cab, Russett drops the stick at my feet, does a circle, and eagerly studies me.
“You want attention don’t you, boy? Can you fetch?” Picking up the stick, I give it a short toss. In his excitement he trips himself, rolls and refocuses on where the stick landed. With the stick between his teeth I swear he’s smiling when he trots back and drops it at my feet.
The road to this cabin is hidden around a bend. The cabin sits in the middle of a clearing wide enough it would be almost impossible to sneak up on the inhabitants. I feel safe for some reason.
Gerdie had me hide in the back seat as she drove through town and farther up the mountain opposite of where I lived with the Stumps. She said they wouldn’t even think to look for me here.
She explained that now I’m eighteen, even if Millard Stump came up with fake adoption papers, my marriage to this man would take precedence.
One of the advantages of the mail order bride contract is I have ninety days to back out.
She also assured me she’s known Gray since he was a boy and he’d keep me safe.
Give me time to really think about what I want to do and where I want to go.
What do I want to do? Or want to go? I like Cogburn.
It’s a small town, not big and scary. At school there were two girls who talked to me at lunch.
They were shy, too and insisted we were friends.
They would ask me to go to the library with them, but Millard wouldn’t let me do anything. I’ve never had a real friend.
Thankfully Mom enrolled me in school as soon as we moved in with Millard or I’m sure he never would have let me go. According to him, women are supposed to just stay home and take care of the house and kids. Once the town knew about me, he had to let me continue.
I’m still behind about a year from kids my age. I’ve had a lot of support from a couple of the teachers who are helping me try to catch up. I’d really like to have a diploma. Then I could get a job, be independent, and not need anyone.
A job. If you don’t have money or an income, you can’t pay for a place to live. If you don’t have a place to live it’s hard to find a job. I understand Mom’s struggles better, but the drinking and drugs were not the way out.
Russett trots up with the stick and I throw it again.
After a while he loses interest and wanders round the cabin.
I follow. Behind the cabin is a hen house that needs a little TLC but could be easily restored.
There’s also an overgrown garden and an impressive wood stack.
A satellite dish sits in a clearing and there’s an antenna on the cabin roof.
Gerdie says he’s a war hero and a good man. She’s known him since he was a boy. She says he’ll keep me safe from my stepfather and brothers.
He’s bigger than they are: taller, broader. If he hit me, he could do some real damage. He didn’t raise his voice to Gerdie although it was clear he was shocked we’d come to his home unannounced. But he’d reached down and scratched Russett’s ears and the dog leaned into him. Familiarity and trust.
Would he really keep me safe? Or would he turn me over to Millard for a little cash? Will Millard be able to find me here? It’s not that far from town.
I kick at a clump of dirt. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. I have no real choice. If this mail order marriage doesn’t work, I’m on the street just like Mom and I were when I was little. I don’t even have enough money to get out of this town.
I could end up with someone else just as bad as Millard. If this guy is nice and doesn’t hit me, at least it’s only one man hanging around, not four.
I know Joey would try to protect me. He’s a step-sibling, too. But the Stumps are all big men. I hope he’s ok.
Crossing to the remnant of a garden, I squat down and start weeding a patch.
If this were my home, I’d have tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach, green beans, and lettuce.
The plot is big enough I could grow enough vegetables in each season for this garden to feed two people and have leftovers to can for winter.
At the front of the cabin, I’d have flowers growing everywhere. In front of the porch and a trellis at the end with Star Jasmine and a couple hanging plants on the porch overhang.
Instead of the lone straight back chair, I’d have two rockers where we’d sit to watch the stars at night. The old tree stump he obviously uses as a table would stay.
What’s wrong with me? Shifting position, I peruse the yard and back of the rough-hewn house. This isn’t a hallmark movie where little miss nobody finds true love with the prince. This is survival. At best the lesser of two evils.
That’s not fair. Gerdie keeps reassuring me he’s a good man. He comes to check on her every couple weeks and they aren’t even related.
Who am I to even try to judge? I don’t even know what true love looks or feels like. I think Mom loved me in her way. All her male examples were men who used her for sex, her sometimes paychecks, to clean, or nanny their children. She never got a say or input. She was never loved.
Here I am being forced down the same path. Yes, from my view from the truck, he’s the best-looking man I’ve ever seen. Isn’t that a sure sign something must be wrong with him that he’s not married or in a relationship? I’m going to have to be careful.
Russett runs over to me and gives my face a lick. Gerdie laughs behind me.
Standing, I turn to see Gerdie smiling with the man beside her. He glances down at the pile of weeds I’ve pulled.
“The garden’s a mess. If we clean it up, we still have time to plant for a fall crop. Do you have any seeds?” I ask.
Gerdie laughs. “Come help me set up the lunch we brought. Gray’s going to check the chicken coop to see if we can leave the chickens.
While we eat, we can brainstorm the most important things we need to get done today.
I got a feeling there’s a lot of little chores the two of you will be tackling together.
“We also need to go over the paperwork before I leave since I’m the witness to this marriage,” she adds casually.
I feel his gaze on me but can read nothing in his expression. He nods once. “Whistle when you’re ready for me. Gonna check the chicken coop.”