Chapter 11
Ford
“Where do you want it, boss?” I ask as I bring the oversized easel into the back bedroom of our cabin. It’s the first week of January, and Joy has moved in with me.
We just finished getting her stuff moved completely two days ago. I paid off her lease to get her out early. Then I celebrated the move by taking her on the kitchen island and in the shower and on the back deck. Finally, once more, in bed. Our bed.
Even though she’s only been here for a few days, the cabin already feels lighter and brighter. She plays music a lot and hums under her breath. She’s looking at paint swatches and curtains and decorative pillows that are not for napping on.
Apparently, our cabin needs “texture”. I think that’s a woman’s word for looking at thirty-five different cream-colored pillows and buying fifteen of them. Still, I can’t complain. She’s here. She’s filling the place with warmth. She’s making it a home. How did I get so fuckin’ lucky?
We spend our days decorating. Well, she spends her days decorating. I spend my days watching her decorate and trying to convince her that the key advantage of not having neighbors is our ability to be naked constantly. Sometimes, I lose that debate. Every so often, I win.
At night, it’s rough. The nightmares keep coming, but Joy is always there. She gets up with me in the middle of the night, even though I tell her to go back to sleep. She complains that the bed is too cold without me, but really, I know she just doesn’t want me to be alone.
I made an appointment to see a counselor that works with combat veterans. I don’t know if it will do any good, but Joy said that maybe it would help to get the nightmares out of my head. She thinks if I talk about it, maybe they won’t torment me so much.
For a long time, I believed that I deserved to live with the nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, and the constant feeling of doom.
I thought it was a fair punishment for living when everyone else around me died.
But she makes me think maybe that’s not how this works.
Maybe there’s a way to let go of the pain without letting go of my brothers.
I set the oversized easel down and turn to her. “What do you think?”
She frowns and points to a different corner. “I think the light would be better over there.”
She tries to reach for the easel. It’s light for me, but I imagine it’s heavy for her. So, I grab it before she can, lifting it easily. The way I see it, my girl never has to struggle now that I’m around. She’s got a man now who loves taking care of her, who delights in being there for her.
As soon as the easel is moved, she turns her attention to the window, tapping her chin in that way she does when she’s thinking.
“These curtains really aren’t good for this,” she murmurs under her breath.
I shrug. “Change them.”
Before she can respond, her phone dings with a message. She reaches for it, her big diamond engagement ring glistening in the late afternoon sunlight and throwing small rainbows around the room.
I thought I’d go feral on New Year’s Day when I realized the jewelers were closed. I needed to see a ring on my girl’s finger. Needed every other motherfucker to know she was taken.
She checks her smartphone and gives me an excited grin. “They’re on the way.”
Hunter and Nate are bringing their women and coming for dinner. It was Nate’s idea, and he insisted that we gather at my cabin. He acted grumpy about it, like it was my turn to be a host once. But I’m grateful for his dramatic production, for the way he didn’t call attention to how much I struggle.
She frowns down at the outfit she’s been wearing since this morning when she put on clothes again.
I can’t say that I haven’t considered burning her wardrobe about a dozen times since she moved in.
Then she’d be naked all the time. Or forced to wear my clothes constantly. Either way, it’s a win for me.
“Everything has to be perfect. I’m meeting your family for the first time. I need to shower and change. I need an acceptable outfit for our date.”
“Good idea. I’ll help you.” I don’t even work to keep the lust out of my voice. It’s not my fault. The things this woman does to me with just a glance.
She holds up her hand. “Oh, no. If you help me, we’ll never be ready.”
I frown and follow her into the bathroom. “Let me try anyway.”
She takes a long, warm shower that I help her through. I even make sure to clean her pussy with my tongue, loving the way she floods my face with her juices. When she’s ridden my face to completion and she’s panting, I wrap her in a towel and take her into our bedroom.
“I’m really glad you’re here now.” I press a kiss to her lips.
I make love to her slowly. It’s different now. The first time we were together, there was a desperate edge. I thought I wasn’t going to get another chance. After that, it was with relief that she was mine.
But now, it’s different. There’s so much love flowing between us. It wraps around my heart, squeezing tight as I reach for a condom.
She puts a hand on my arm and shakes her head. Her cheeks go red. “I want you to fill me up with your come.”
I didn’t think it was possible to get any harder, but now I am. I nod and kiss her again, slowly and tenderly until I’m slipping inside of her body and satisfying both of us.
After, I hold her in my arms. These are some of my favorite moments when she’s relaxed in our bed. She stares up at me with awe and wonder written in every line of her face. “You know, we could have made a baby.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for,” I tell her, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.
“I want more than just the ring and the cabin. I want babies that grow up to become this mountain’s next generation of lumberjacks and artists.
I want your gray hair and wrinkles and our shaky hands clasped together on the front porch. ”
She sighs. “That sounds perfect to me.”
As the sun finally begins setting for the day, I help her into one of her bright, colorful dresses before I grab my jeans and a faded flannel shirt. I can’t believe I’m seeing my family altogether in one place after so long apart. Can’t believe they still want to see me.
We’ve just pulled the food from the oven when Nate shows up with Callie and Danny. Callie is the single mom he met. She was stranded here in Asheville and trying desperately to get to her job in Montana.
He went and picked her and her young son up. He helped them to Silver Bell Hollow in Havenstone, Montana. Then he put a ring on her finger and took her back to Courage County to live with him.
The three of them arrive with some of Callie’s Danish pastries. For the filling, she uses Nate’s jams. They’re thinking of starting a business and selling them. If the scent is anything to go by, they’ll be successful.
Danny gives Joy a wave, breaking into a grin that shows his little teeth. He’s the kind of adorable that makes my chest squeeze tight as I imagine what it would be like to have kids with Joy one day. Fuck, I hope we get that lucky soon.
Callie and Joy are talking about her jams and how she makes her pastries when a sporty little yellow car zooms into the driveway. Emma May bounces out of it and pats her braid. “Have I missed dinner yet?”
“Where did you get the car?” I demand. I love this woman, but I swear, with every passing year, she’s becoming more of a daredevil.
She waves her hand away. “God has blessed me. Now, don’t ask questions.”
Nate doesn’t look convinced that this development is a good one. “Ma, is there going to be a warrant out for you tonight?”
She snorts and reaches for Danny who is already lunging like he can’t wait to throw himself into his grandmother’s arms. “I would never do anything that would take me away from my sweet grandbabies.”
Nate and I exchange a look. We’re going to have to figure out the mystery of the yellow sports car another time because a truck pulls into my driveway. Hunter and Holly spill out of it, laughing and smiling. Their cheeks are red from the cold, and Hunter’s got his shirt on inside out.
“You’re late,” I call out.
Holly’s blush deepens, but Joy isn’t paying attention. She hurries over to give her older sister a big hug.
Hunter smirks. “We blew a tire.”
Nate cranes his head, looking at Hunter’s truck. “Everything looks fine to me. Where’s the donut?”
Hunter discreetly sends him the bird and calls for Holly so he can introduce us to each other. It’s obvious from the way he has his arm around her and says her name that his heart beats for her now.
The eight of us sit down for dinner, and the conversation flows easily. I can’t remember my cabin ever feeling brighter or warmer than it does right now, surrounded by all of these people I love.
Later, when the women shoo us out of the house, the three of us hang out underneath the stars. Nate keeps absently patting his chest, like he’s comforting Danny. Except his son is inside with Callie and the girls.
“Are you doing okay?” He asks softly.
“No bullshit this time,” Hunter insists as he opens the coolers filled with beers.
I finish starting the fire in the pit and take a seat, accepting the can I’m passed. “I got an appointment. I’m going to talk to someone.”
“It’s going to get better,” Nate says.
Hunter clears his throat. “It won’t always hurt so much.”
I know that we’re talking about more than just my past as a soldier.
We’re talking about the boys we were and how we came through so much pain.
I glance toward the cabin. Through the sliding glass doors, I can see our women.
Joy is holding Danny. She’s bouncing him in her arms and grinning down at him.
Emma May is showing him a rattle while the other two women are chatting over pastries and tea.
I can’t help smiling as I see them all together. Things have already gotten so much better since meeting Joy.
“We’re loved now,” I say.
Hunter claps me on the back. “Damn straight.”
Nate nods. “Just keep our eyes on the good things.”
I know the road ahead may still have dark days and hard moments. But it’s different now because I’m not choosing to walk alone. I’m letting my family support me. “Yeah, and there’s still so much more good to come.”