Chapter 8 Skye
EIGHT
SKYE
Every time I look at Sawyer, I don’t see the quiet, standoffish mountain man.
Last night has me more confused than ever before, especially because he’s still the same man he was before it.
Still makes me a simple breakfast spread to start another day being snowed in.
Still looks at me like he’s battling with something internally, even if it feels like we should be beyond that.
It just doesn’t make any sense, and I don’t really understand the emotions rushing through me.
It reminds me a little of my best friend and her explosive week with her new mountain man fiancé. The only difference is she’s had a major crush on him for years, since before the fire that hurt him and took him into the mountain.
But I don’t know anything else about Sawyer. Before the rescue, he and I were complete strangers. There’s no history between us, nothing that could give any real justification to what I’m feeling towards him.
Maybe it is a little crush. I mean, the man is hot as hell.
He went out of his way to rescue me from my own stupidity and get trapped in a snowstorm with me, brought me to a cabin with actual power, and he’s taking care of me better than any man ever has.
Who wouldn’t have a crush on someone like that?
And he fixed a phone so I could call my sister to check in with her at the hospital. He made sure I could reach the outside world and let them know I’m safe, that I haven’t had this damn baby yet, and he’s the exact type of person I trust to have by my side if I actually go into labour.
He is, much to my dismay—or delight—the perfect man.
But he’s letting his past get in the way of what might be between us.
Which is exactly what you should be doing, I remind myself as I press a hand to my belly.
“What’re you thinking about?” Sawyer asks as he lowers himself to the armchair across from me, tall, strong limbs folding onto the small cushion. He should have the sofa, but alas, I’m spread across it.
Fire erupts across my face as I duck my head, hoping he doesn’t notice. “Nothing,” I murmur, clearing my throat.
I feel the weight of his stare on me. It’s heavy, but not uncomfortable.
God knows I’ve dealt with uncomfortable stares before from men who mean less than this one.
Creeps have gawked at me my whole life. Whether that be because my boobs are bigger than the average—extremely lucky—girls, being a labour and delivery nurse so I’m faced with the creatures some women reproduce with, or just being a female.
But stares stopped bothering me a long time ago.
With Sawyer, though, there’s a weight to his look that makes it feel like he’s peeling something away, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
“You thinking about last night?” he asks, sounding neither proud nor curious. It’s like he’s stating a well-known fact.
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “No.” I make myself look away from him before he can see the lie so obvious on my face.
“Skye—”
“It’s okay.” I glance at him and try to smile, but it feels fake. “It was a one-time thing. And we had fun. It doesn’t need to be rehashed.”
“Skye.”
I grit my teeth. The way he says my name has my belly fluttering and pussy clenching. There’s a firmness to it that has my skin prickling and all of me on high alert. Not because it screams danger, but because it calls to a part of me that likes being bossed around a little.
There’s a reason it never really worked out with my ex.
“Look at me.” I really don’t want to. But out of the periphery of my vision, I watch him stand and take one step towards me. It brings us almost completely together, especially when he lowers himself to his knees.
“If I hurt you—” he starts, but I whip towards him with wide eyes.
“You didn’t,” I state, shaking my head. “The opposite, actually. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
His features shift into a frown. “Then what’s wrong?”
“Why do you think there’s anything wrong?” I ask lightly, folding my hands in front of me so I don’t fidget with them. Instead, I play with the hem of his flannel shirt, which smells too much like him. “Because there isn’t. Nothing wrong at all.”
From the corner of my eye, I watch him purse his lips, disappointment flaring in his eyes. But instead of calling me out on the blatant lie, he captures my chin between his fingers and forces me to look at him. The touch alone sends shivers coursing through my body, reminding me of last night.
It really shouldn’t have me wondering what else he can do. Not just with his fingers, but with other parts of his body.
Snap out of it. I should pull out of his hold, but I don’t.
Especially when he leans towards me. Because of how tall and massive this man is, he is face to face with me. His eyes search mine, though I know he can see the lie so clearly written across my face. I’m not even trying to hide it anymore.
Something is bothering me, and I don’t know what it is.
No, now I’m just lying to myself. I do know what it is, and it has everything to do with this hulking, gentle mountain man.
And he’s stripping everything away until I’m left bare.
“I want to hear it from your lips,” he says, thumb brushing my chin. “What’s wrong?”
I swallow hard, but it does nothing against the very hard lump in my throat. “I’m just…confused,” I tell him after a moment.
“About last night.” He stares at me, eyes hard in a way that makes it hard to pull away or drop his gaze.
This man won’t let me run or hide.
And again, I don’t know how I feel about that.
I wouldn’t say I’m someone who runs when she doesn’t feel sure. But I also don’t exactly try either. I didn’t with my ex. There was a chance he could have changed, but I decided I knew he wouldn’t, and so he didn’t.
Sawyer is the opposite. He’s not the type of man to give up, even if he thinks he might.
“Yes,” I reply finally, sighing. “Last night confused me. You didn’t even ask for anything in return.”
Sawyer chuckles, finally releasing my chin to plant his hand on the cushion behind my head. The movement brings us closer, allowing me to breathe him in.
I hate how comforting his manly smell is. I hate how much it soothes something within me.
“All I wanted was to take care of you,” he murmurs, eyes flickering between mine and my lips.
“But who will take care of you?” I ask just as softly. “Because even though I’m letting you in, I don’t think you’re ready to do the same. And Sawyer? I want that.”
He stiffens, eyes hardening. “Skye—”
“No.” I shift again, heart pounding. “What last night told me is you want something, but you aren’t ready to take it. Or maybe you thought you were doing me some sort of favour. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I can’t play around like this. Not with you.”
Even though he’s right in my space, I sit up. He doesn’t stop me from rising, actually helping me off the sofa instead. If that isn’t a sign of what he’s really like, then I don’t know what is.
“Skye.” He stops me with a hand to my lower back, the touch and his voice making baby girl move. She’d been sleeping before, but now she rolls, foot slamming into my stomach.
I rub a hand over my belly and look back at Sawyer, but his eyes lock on my stomach. Something flares within them, a protectiveness I’d noticed briefly the other day when I told him how she liked his voice.
Slowly, as if without thinking about it, Sawyer moves to my side and rests his hand over the swell of my stomach. And like she knows he’s there, baby girl moves.
I can’t help but watch his expression shift from one of protectiveness to awe. It has my heart skipping a beat, my emotions suddenly all over the place.
One moment, I’m stuck on how to feel about him. The next, he manages to strip me of everything until there’s only confusion and…
I clear my throat, capturing his attention. “See?” I murmur, covering his hand with mine. “She’s not the only one who likes you, Sawyer.”
His eyes finally flicker up, meeting mine. I can’t read his expression, but there’s something about it that makes my heart flutter, and hope swell within me.
Hope that maybe we have a chance for more.