8. Ports in a Storm #2
Arthur briefly considered what he might pick up for dinner tonight after the matter was sorted, but his stomach soon went sour. Thanks to the malodorous protective wards in the transitional alley, it stank of old mackerel and putrid papayas. Horrible, but not nearly as awful as Zephyr’s shoes.
Breathing was slightly better with his scarf over his nose, but his eyes still watered badly.
He couldn’t possibly reread the contracts here.
Instead, he paced back and forth near the alley’s entrance to the Ordinary street, stepping out every so often to gasp and fill his lungs with unobjectionable air.
When Will still had not shown up by ten a.m. Arthur was regretting the decision to arrive early. Admittedly, he’d been curious to see if Will would port in. Now he was getting concerned that the porter might ghost him.
Finally, at five past ten, an unmarked van pulled into the alley. The side door slid open with a whoosh and Will stuck his head out, jerking it sideways to indicate Arthur should get in.
“You’re late,” Arthur grumbled.
“Sorry, I stopped for coffee. I told you I’m not a morning person.” Will shrugged. He held out his hand to Arthur, who refused it. He didn’t need anyone’s help to climb into a van.
The van was opulent inside, appointed with exotic hardwood flooring and button tufted velvet walls.
Although the center area was an open space, free of furnishings, four leather upholstered captain’s chairs beckoned invitingly towards the back.
The ceiling was high enough that Will could stand upright.
Arthur still had to hunch over a bit, though.
After Will slammed the door shut, Arthur reached back to set his bag down on a chair.
“Not so fast.” Will shook his head at Arthur. “You’ll need to hang on to that. And you’ll need to climb onto my back.”
“Pardon?” Arthur raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Is this some sort of joke?”
Will rolled his eyes.
“Unless you’d prefer a firefighter’s carry. I think you’re just too big for me to cradle like a baby.” Will sized Arthur up. “But I can try if you’re into it.” He took a nimble step forward and bent to hook an arm behind Arthur’s knees.
Arthur gave him a swift shove, causing Will to lose his balance, but only for the briefest of instants. The smaller man promptly righted himself, like one of those irritating magnetic toys that cannot be toppled.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Arthur stared at Will with the wilting horror he usually reserved for people who tried to ambush him with fragrance samples in the mall.
“Porting you?” Will looked amused. “Don’t tell me you’ve never been with anyone like me before.”
“Why would I have been?” Arthur was defensive now. “My lifestyle is simple. Creatures like me can’t afford the likes of you.”
“Hermes’ heels! I can’t believe it! I’m your first!” Will clapped with glee. “It won’t hurt one bit, I promise.” Then he turned to fling the door on the opposite side of the van open.
Arthur was expecting to see the exposed brick wall on the other side of the alley, but he found himself facing a sort of bright nothingness.
The white light was blinding, and it was moving, breathing like a living thing.
Clouds spun towards the center like the interior of a cyclone.
His tie blew forward, and he felt himself being sucked towards the open door.
Crackles of rainbow colored lightning in the distance gave the swirling vortex a discotheque aesthetic, minus the thumping bass. Arthur was not a fan of nightclubs. He felt dizzy. His ears were plugged as if the van were an airplane in rapid descent.
“Climb aboard.” Will bent down on one knee, presenting his back to Arthur. “And you should probably close your eyes after. There’s less of a chance you’ll lose consciousness if you keep them closed.”
“Are you sure? I’m not…too big?” Arthur’s heart was pounding even harder than the first time he’d ridden Cú Chulainn Coaster in Emerald Park. At least the roller coaster had been outfitted with a safety harness.
“I’m much stronger than I look,” Will shouted. The wind was picking up now. “I promise I’ll have you there in under sixty seconds. There’s just one really important rule.”
“What’s that?” Arthur twisted the metal toggle to secure the flap of his briefcase and tightened the long strap across his body. Tentatively, he climbed onto the smaller man’s back. He draped his arms around Will’s neck and shoulders and closed his eyes.
“Don’t fall off,” Will shouted. And then he lurched forward into the void.
Not down. Forward. That was surprising. Arthur’s brain had been expecting Will to step down upon exiting, because he’d stepped up into the van on the other side.
He scrambled to get a better hold of Will as he felt himself slipping.
He was tempted to open his eyes, but he recalled Will’s warning about passing out.
“What happens if I lose consciousness?” Arthur was shouting as loud as he could, but his voice was barely audible.
“You might fall off,” Will shouted back. His voice sounded so distant.
Will took another step, and then another. His strides were long and somewhat laborious, as if he were walking on loose sand or through deep snow. Arthur didn’t dare look down to see. When he began to slip again, Will froze.
“Hang ON,” Will commanded sternly.
“What happens if I fall off?” Arthur yelled.
“You don’t want to know,” Will barked back.
“I kind of do…” Arthur locked his knees tighter around Will’s torso.
“It’s bad…” Will hollered back.
“How bad?” Arthur clenched his fists around his own elbows, tightening his grip.
“Ow!” Will protested. “Ease up just a bit, would you? I have to breathe.”
“How bad?” Arthur asked again.
“Infinity bad,” Will yelled.
“Which means?” Arthur was getting frustrated. He was a dad. At the very least, Will should have informed him of the risks before they left the van.
Wind whipped them from every direction. The pressure in his ears intensified. He heard the rushing sounds of water, or perhaps that was his own blood coursing more quickly through his veins.
“Oblivion. Lost in the void.” Will roared with effort as he took one last step onto what felt like solid ground. With a sort of ripple and a hollow pop, the wind, and the rushing in Arthur’s ears, stopped. The air was noticeably warmer and there was birdsong in the distance.
“Oblivion?” Arthur bellowed. The sudden volume of his own voice startled him, echoing throughout this new chamber.
“Easy there, big guy. It almost never happens. Porting is perfectly safe. Safer than flying.”
Arthur risked cracking one eye open, just wide enough to see that they were now standing in a large sunlit hall.
There was black-and-white marble tile beneath Will’s feet.
Paintings of gods, goddesses, and mythological creatures lined the walls, extending to the vaulted ceilings. He glanced over his shoulder.
A ridiculous sight greeted Arthur in the oversized mirror they must have just passed through. He saw himself astride the smaller man, still holding on for dear life. Even more embarrassing, he realized his antlers were exposed. He’d started to shift.
It wasn’t like him to lose control like that. No wonder Will had advised him to keep his eyes shut. He squeezed them closed again, just in case.
“Are we there yet?” Arthur asked.
“Welcome to the Museum of Natural Magic, Mr. Hart. The local time is seven-oh-six a.m. We hope you’ve enjoyed our sixty-second trip.” Will affected the manner of a bored flight attendant.
“So…is it safe?” Arthur asked.
“Yes, we’ve arrived, Arthur.” Will reached around to pat Arthur tenderly on the cheek. “You did just great. And you can get off me now.”