Chapter Twenty-Five
INTERVIEWER: Which band member’s most likely to ghost someone? [Phillip, Aspen, and Leon all side-eye Jake, who slowly raises his hand, looking caught-out but unrepentant.]
ASPEN: Jake just leaves if he doesn’t want to be somewhere.
Like, one time, we were at a party, and Jake got asked too many questions about Livie, so he excused himself.
We thought he was going to the bathroom, but he just never came back.
Later, we found him hanging out with the parking valet, splitting a bag of chips.
—Morning Glory Talk Show transcript
My mouth gaped as the door swung closed behind Jake.
Finally, I turned to his bandmates. “Where’s he going?”
They exchanged nervous glances.
“We don’t know,” Leon answered.
“Back to the motel to pack for his flight?” Aspen ventured.
“What?” The word came out strangled.
The boys noticed, and Phillip elbowed Aspen as if to scold him.
But he didn’t deny it was possible.
Shooting the other boys a glare that clearly said Be helpful or shut up, please, Phillip patted me on the shoulder. It should’ve been comforting, but instead it felt more like he was offering me condolences.
“Disappearing’s just Jake’s thing,” Phillip explained. “We’ve kind of come to expect it.”
My palms were starting to feel clammy. “Without telling you where he’s going? Or that he’s even leaving?”
“Sometimes. I love my brother, but, uh . . .” Leon shifted uncomfortably. “Communicating’s not really his strong point.”
I’m so sorry, Lucy. Jake’s words replayed in my mind. Had that been him saying goodbye? His final text from four years ago flashed across my memory:
For whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
This was my worst fear come to life.
I couldn’t do this.
Hot tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to spill over.
I needed to get away before everyone saw me lose it.
Turning, I strode down the hall toward Rumple’s room as fast as my feet could carry me.
I could feel today’s losses in every fiber of my body, like they were something physical.
Memories played through my mind. Jake’s fingers moving across the leg of his jeans, composing on invisible piano keys. Jake carefully cradling tiny Arpeggio in his arms. Jake across the dining table, looking for all the world like he wanted to take up Mom’s invitation to drop in anytime.
But the old Jake left me, and now the new Jake had too.
Except this time, it felt a hundred times worse.
Shutting my eyes, I sank down to the floor, hunching my knees up and burying my face in my hands as I curled in on myself. How could I handle losing the sanctuary of the café and Jake?
Something soft tickled my arm. Rumple sat beside me, peering worriedly at my face.
“Rumple,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do.”
The Maine coon considered me for a moment, before getting up and walking out the door.
I stared after him, numb. Then I pressed the heels of my hands into the back of my eyes.
How am I going to get through this?
A sudden, soft meow sounded out, and I slid my hands off my face to see Mittens enter the room. She padded over quietly and pawed at my hand until I put my arm around her. I’m here, she seemed to say. I don’t understand why you’re sad, but I’m here.
Bunny came in next, hopping over and flanking my other side. Then slowly, one by one, as if Rumple was finding everyone and sending them in to me, more cats trickled into the room.
Together, they came to sit with me, their tails weaving around me, their silky-smooth fur brushing across my skin as if to say, Don’t cry.
Rumple came in last.
“Did you go get them all for me?” I questioned, taking in the fuzzy protection squad around me.
In answer, Rumple came forward, depositing something on the floor by my shoes, though I couldn’t yet see what it was.
Rumple did that sometimes. The week after Mom got into her accident, I broke down crying in the pantry only to find him pawing at it, trying to get in.
When I opened the door, he laid a stolen gel pen at my feet as a “feel better” present.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “And I’m sorry. I let you guys down. You don’t deserve that.”
What would happen to them now? How would Rumple understand his home wasn’t here anymore?
How would I?
My future unraveling should’ve taken up all my thoughts. But on top of everything, I found myself thinking of Jake.
Somehow, I’d have to find a way to get over him.
I looked down at my feet again, finally registering what Rumple brought me:
A rectangular paper card.
“Is this . . . ?” I glanced at him questioningly before picking it up to see a single word written on the back. “This is my flash card you stole from Jake back before he left. You’ve seriously had it all this time?”
Rumple gave me a smug look, and I stared back down at the card again, lost in thought.
Limerence. Synonyms include crush and infatuation, my inner spelling bee champ reminded me. A word used to describe a state of mind resulting from romantic feelings for someone. It typically includes melancholic thoughts.
My lips pursed.
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, as if the Maine coon could give me an actual answer. “Of course I’m having melancholic thoughts. Jake ditched back then like how he’s ditching now.”
I rose. I had to pull myself together. Reaching back, I tugged harshly on my hairband, only to feel it snap underneath my fingers, falling apart in my hands and making my hair topple loosely over my shoulders, just like how it’d been this morning, back before I knew everything that was coming.
I held my breath for three seconds, then let it out, trying to avoid round two of my breakdown.
Okay. I’d find a way to pull my hair back into Battle Mode.
Check on Mom. See if Phillip, Aspen, and Leon could at least take some photos with the adoptable cats before they left so I could try to get them into homes before we were forced to close. Forget about—
Commotion at the front of the café caught my ears. What was going on? I sent Rumple a look. He blinked knowingly.
Striding out of the room, I stopped short in shock.
Jake stood in front of me.
“But I— You—” I couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. My heart danced out a rhythm behind my rib cage. “You’re back. I thought you left.”
But there he was, right in front of me.
“Of course I’m back,” Jake said, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “I only left to see if Randy still lived in his old house.”
“Randy?”
My eyes flitted past Jake to see a willowy man with salt-and-pepper hair standing behind him.
Jake inclined his head toward the man. “Lucy, meet my old guitar teacher.”
My gaze jumped back to Jake. “Guitar teacher?”
I’d been wrong. Jake hadn’t walked when things got tough because he was leaving me, he walked out to get help because he was staying to help me.
Jake nodded. “Let’s get Marie on the phone.”
***
Marie shook her head at us over the video call. “No.”
My jaw dropped as my anger rose. “What?”
“No?” Jake asked at the same time. “What do you mean, no? We have an experienced guitar player.”
“No, what you have is a retired teacher who hasn’t performed in the past decade, let alone performed in anything bigger than a local bar,” Marie countered.
“I can’t gamble your reputation on an unprofessional livestream with an unknown who’s only got an hour to study the sheet music. I can’t risk that.”
“What do you mean?” Jake argued. “Of course you can—”
Marie sighed. “Jake—”
“Randy’s good. I’ll vouch for him myself.”
“Jake,” Marie said, firmer this time, “I let you talk me into this against my better judgment. I was desperate to find a way for you boys to stop fighting and get back together before tour, but I should never have green-lit this performance. Look at your wrist! This is the second time that girl’s nearly ruined you.
” I blanched in shock and confusion as Marie jabbed a finger at me.
“I stopped her from wrecking the band once, and I’ll do it again. ”
“Don’t call Lucy that girl,” Jake said, his voice unexpectedly fierce and protective. “She— Wait, what do you mean you stopped her before?”
“She’s been a problem since day one,” Marie said, pinching the bridge of her nose as she took in an angry breath.
“When the band first got together, you were easily distracted, even more than the others. I needed all four of you to concentrate on the band and your goals, not be caught up in what you left behind. You were already struggling. Then, one time when you left your phone behind for dance practice, her texts came. Little Luciana, who wrote how much she missed you and asked if you could ‘talk about the kiss.’ I knew she’d be too much of a distraction.
I couldn’t risk you losing focus or getting homesick.
So I deleted the messages and secretly blocked her number. ”
Jake’s lips parted in surprise. Instinctively, he turned to look at me, hazel eyes blown wide.
I could only gape back as the truth settled in. Marie blocked my number. Jake never knew about my texts. All this time, I thought Jake had been purposely ignoring me, when that wasn’t the truth at all.
Jake turned back to Marie, his eyes as stormy as a hurricane. “I always thought Lucy never texted me back, but she did, and you knew. You stopped it.”
Another thought hit me, deep and sharp:
From Jake’s point of view, I was the one who hadn’t wanted to stay in touch and stopped writing. It looked like I was the one who gave up on us.
All this time, Jake thought I ghosted him.
“You had no right to do that,” I told Marie, fury rising within me. I didn’t care how powerful that woman was; she’d been wrong, and I wasn’t afraid to let her know.
“Lucy’s right. I don’t have a three-sixty contract,” Jake added. “You’re just supposed to manage my singing career, not my personal life.”
“This was about your career. And you should be grateful,” Marie scolded. “I kept you from giving up.”
“No, you didn’t,” Jake argued. “I kept me from giving up on my dream. I kept going. What would’ve actually helped was knowing my friend was trying to talk to me!
Instead, you made me think that one of the people I cared the most about in the whole world hated me.
I should’ve been happy that my dream of being a singer was coming true, but instead, all I did was worry that Lucy never wanted to talk to me again. ”
My heart thudded painfully against my ribs. Had that been what Jake thought all this time?
And yet he still cared—cared enough to come all the way down here for me.
“I can’t get those years I missed with Lucy back,” Jake continued, “but I can stop you now. We’re doing the livestream.”
Marie arched an eyebrow. “Really? I’m the band manager. What do you have to bargain with?”
“The truth,” Jake answered, without even thinking about it. “Let Lucy have the livestream, or I’ll tell everyone what you did.”
“You can’t,” Marie shot back. “You signed an NDA. Your contract states you can’t purposely disparage me unless you’re testifying due to a crime, which this is far from.” She scoffed. “There’s nothing you can do to damage my reputation.”
“But I can,” I realized, my gaze meeting Marie’s. “I never signed an NDA. This is my story as much as it is Jake’s.”
Marie’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would.” I stepped closer to the screen. “You’d do anything to protect yourself and the band’s image, but I’ll also do anything to protect this place.”
My voice came out strong and steady as I formed a plan in my mind.
“We’re going live in an hour, whether you like it or not,” I told her.
“Enough people already have the link. Either you let US perform, or we’ll fill the stream with something else.
” I took a deep breath, ready to deliver the final blow.
“We’ll have the camera on me, telling everyone the whole story of what you did. Live.”
Marie’s jaw muscles tightened and her lips thinned out flat. She studied me like a bird of prey, but I refused to back down.
“I’ll do it,” I told her. “I’m someone you don’t get to control.”
“Me either,” Jake said, stepping up to stand beside me. “I may not be able to talk, but I’ll be there to support Lucy.”
“So will I,” Phillip said, stepping up too, followed by Aspen and Leon, who nodded in agreement.
Frustrated, Marie took in our obstinate faces before shaking her head in frustration.
“Fine,” she said shortly. “Fine. You can perform on the livestream. But you four are still flying back this evening. And if this hurts the band, it’s all because of Lucy.”
On that encouraging note, she hung up.