Chapter 20 The Puppet’s Forehead
An opening was hard to find. It was born in chaos.
A madman liked making chaos.
Xiao Yan treated me as he had in the last life, never steady. Sometimes he was a careful husband. Sometimes he was a beast with his teeth showing.
I no longer panicked. I studied his intent with care.
He stared at me, dark. I waved my fan and read the storybook in my hands.
At midnight he gestured at my belly. I turned over and slept on.
He suddenly put his head to my belly. I blinked and touched his head.
The vein at Xiao Yan's temple jumped. He did not look pleased.
Like a child after attention, he started worse things.
Each time I opened my eyes, I saw skinned, bloody animals on the bed, or I saw him talking to himself while he drew a knife over me.
When he saw the injured sparrow I kept, he brought yellow birds and green birds, cut off wings or feet, and lined them up while I ate.
"Which one looks good?" he asked, excited.
I looked up, glanced at him through the brows and eyes I had painted with care, and went back to my soup.
My gaze moved. Xiao Yan's face went blank.
He flicked his sleeve and left.
I waited. I bore every vicious game.
I waited for his patience to break. I waited for him to take me to the worst thing he had done.
One night, half asleep, I was lifted crosswise into his arms.
He covered my eyes and took me somewhere full of cold.
The cloth slipped. I saw the puppet again.
His older brother's head was not stuffed in it this time.
Xiao Yan whispered as before. "Perfect? My work."
His black eyes flickered, as if he waited for panic on my face.
As if he waited for someone who looked like his mother to show him fear.
He only saw me smile.
I bent and left a kiss on the puppet's forehead.
Xiao Yan looked as if he could not believe it. "What are you doing?"
"Very beautiful." I signed.
"Very beautiful?" He turned the words over and laughed until he shook. "Very beautiful? Very beautiful?"
He repeated it, paced the Ice Cellar, then grabbed my shoulders.
His black eyes trembled like a broken puppet.
I looked at him, still calm.
I knew he would not kill me.
Not now.