Chapter 28 The Note and the Well
I opened my eyes. The red candles burned bright.
What?
I looked around. It was that bridal room.
Had I not already become Empress Dowager?
Heaven damn it. Why had Heaven not kept a save for This Dowager?
Wait. No.
I touched my head. There was no Red Bridal Veil.
I looked down. Wrinkles covered my palms.
I straightened. My old waist cracked.
Ow. I rubbed my waist.
How had This Dowager ended up dressed like this?
I spun in anxious circles, then heard noise outside.
I poked a hole in the window paper and peeked out.
A bride was surrounded by maids, coming through the long corridor.
This was... me?
It was me.
Her steps were that light. I knew she believed this was the best day of her life.
She did not know the road ahead was full of demons and monsters.
No. I had to warn her.
Oh, that note.
But I turned my head and did not find it on the wedding bed.
Strange.
No matter. I still had one.
I pulled the hairpin from my head, twisted open the pin head, and took out the note hidden for fifty years.
The paper had already been yellow and old. After so many years it was more fragile. I took it in a rush and tore it by accident.
Footsteps outside came closer.
I hurried to find paper and brush, and wrote the warning.
There was no time to write much. If the sheet was too big, it would be hard for her to hide.
Then... "Do not tell the Crown Prince you can speak."
When I finished, I froze.
Before my eyes was a line of neat, graceful small regular script.
So it was me.
I almost laughed out loud.
Yes. Of course it was me.
Who else would have pulled me from flood and fire at any cost. Who else would have fallen again and again and started over.
Only I.
The footsteps were almost at the door. I hurriedly tore that strip off and put it on the bed.
Then I hid behind the screen beside the red candles.
The door opened with a creak.
The night was quiet. A sleeping snore came from the bed.
I slipped out on soft feet.
Being old still had a use. My steps were light as a cat's.
I dodged round after round of patrolling guards and slowly walked to a corner of the Eastern Palace.
Without a token, I could not leave the palace.
Besides, I wore Empress Dowager formal dress. It was too splendid. It would draw suspicion.
I would bury myself here.
But I could not die in just any place.
Though I was nearly seventy, my brows and eyes still looked a little like they had when I was young.
If I was recognized, it would be trouble.
Ruining my face would not do. I was very afraid of pain.
What then.
I wandered and wandered, to the southwest corner of the Eastern Palace.
A well stood there.
Ah. I had it.
I lifted my skirt to jump in, but the moment my foot touched the rim I stopped.
In the moonlight, a wood-cutting knife at the side flashed cold.
I would leave her a few more hints.
The hand rose. The knife fell. I cut off three fingers of my right hand.
The stroke was clean. It did not hurt much.
After I buried the fingers, I returned to the well.
I lowered my head and looked in.
The bright moon hung high and swayed in the well.
It was the same as the year I was seven. Big and round.
This was my beginning. It was also my end.
I ran toward that moon.