2012
‘Where are you, Helgi? Where the hell are you?’
Aníta was muttering under her breath, biting back the urge to scream. It would be so unprofessional to do so here in her office at the Directorate of Health and risk being overheard by her colleagues.
She had shut the door, but she was still shaking.
She had been trying repeatedly to call Helgi, but his phone seemed to be permanently switched off.
Although he was in the north, spending the week with his mother, they usually managed to speak at least once a day.
When she’d heard from him that morning he’d sounded in a good mood.
She had almost been able to hear him smiling at the other end as he eagerly reported that they’d already had their first snowfall in Akureyri.
She sent him yet another message.
They hadn’t known each other long, only a few months, yet she knew it wasn’t like him to be uncontactable like this. It wasn’t that she was worried about him; she was just in such a state that she was desperate to talk to him. The unexpected visit had left her feeling badly shaken.
Aníta hadn’t said anything to her colleagues, just asked her unwanted visitor to leave, then closed the door of her office. She would have to pull herself together so she could complete the rest of her day’s work. There was no way she was going to run away home in the middle of the day.
She simply needed to talk to somebody to stop her heart racing like this, and the only person she could discuss it with was Helgi.
But now, for the first time since they’d started seeing each other, she couldn’t get hold of him.
A spark had been ignited when he first came to see her while making inquiries for an investigation.
Later, she had got in touch with him to ask if he had made any progress in the case.
He had been friendly and invited her out for a coffee, which had turned into their first date.
Since then, things had progressed and their relationship seemed to be going well.
She was counting down the days until he got back to Reykjavík.
When Aníta stood up, her head swam and for a moment she thought she was going to faint.
She should probably have stepped outside into the cold, fresh air and gone for a coffee at a nearby café to soothe her nerves, but she couldn’t summon up the courage, not yet.
She needed a few more minutes to calm down.
She looked out of the window. Even through the glass she could tell how cold it was from the bundled-up figures of the passers-by and the naked branches of the trees.
On days like these she couldn’t help wishing she lived somewhere else, somewhere warmer.
She had raised the subject once or twice with Helgi, asking if he would ever consider moving back to the UK, where he had done his postgraduate studies.
He had reacted well to the question, as he did to everything they discussed.
There was a warmth and friendliness to their interactions that she really appreciated.
And she longed to feel that warmth now, down the phone from Akureyri.
She felt so alone and vulnerable.
She selected his mobile number again, but it was the same story: he didn’t pick up.
Where are you?
She was still shaking.