From Charlie Jones
To: Charlie Jones
Subject: Hellooooo
Hey,
I told you this was a great plan. I’ve been squirreled away up here in Puffin room all night and all morning, and I promise nobody’s clocked I’m here.
I’ve been quiet as a mouse. You were so hilarious last night.
It basically took the threat of me sleeping on a random dark bench for you to sneak me in here, and look! No harm done! I told you so.
That said, if you could come and get me soon, that would be fab. I didn’t totally think through what it would feel like staying in this room, and I’ve run out of snacks, plus I want to hear how it went when you told new Charlie your real name. Have you found her yet?!
Also, I dodged when you asked about Berty while we were getting me set up here—I’m sorry.
I know you and I aren’t really standard exes but we were together and I felt weird discussing him with you!
Which is so daft given you’ve written me a hundred emails about how much you luuurve Charlie.
(I called that long before you did, by the way.
“Oh, she’s such a nuisance!” he says. “Oh, I wish she wasn’t here! ” Load of bollocks.)
As soon as you get back from your Charlie-hunting mission I promise I’ll fill you in on everything that’s gone down between me and Berty over the last couple of months.
Short answer is, yes, I still love him, God, so much, and we’ve been messaging loads, but that’s it so far.
I’m so scared that if I go back to him I’ll fall off the wagon and screw it up again, and how the hell do you know when you’re ready? ? You know?
Anyway, wow, I can see why you sent me all those emails, this is great, isn’t it? Way easier than talking in person. Especially when there is almost no entertainment. Hint hint.
I found the list of Charlie Joneses, by the way, in the book about Ormer. You never mentioned whether I was on there or not. Did it not occur to you that I might want to know? I mean, it was me who got offered your job in the first place…
Charlie x