Chapter 11 #3
“You don’t have to be sorry,” I say. “You kicked it like a soccer star. I think we just need to get you a heavier ball because you’re so strong.”
Dean pulls back to gaze into Bella’s face. “Is that true? Did you kick it like a soccer star?”
Tears drying and a tentative smile twitching at her lips, Bella nods. “Yeah. I kicked it super hard.”
“Wow,” Dean says, looking genuinely impressed. “Maybe we should get you on the school soccer team come springtime. Do you think you’d like to play soccer, Bell?”
Her eyes go wide as she nods faster. “Oh, yes, Daddy. Yes, I want to play soccer and run so fast!”
“I want to, too,” Ava says, though she seemed less excited about kicking balls than her sister was while we were out playing earlier. “Carmen from school plays soccer, and she’s my best friend.”
“Well, that settles it then,” Dean says with a nod. “We’re going to be a soccer family. I can’t wait to cheer for you guys as loud as you cheer for me.”
Both girls beam, looking so genuinely happy, it’s hard to believe they were distraught just a few seconds ago. Dean knew exactly what to say, what to do. He’s such a good dad. So good it makes me jealous, actually.
And horny.
The jealousy is logical—immature, but logical.
My own father rarely knew what to say and never knew what to do.
Even at twenty-four, I’m still a little bitter about that.
Being envious of kids who have what I always wanted is okay.
It’s not like I begrudge Bella and Ava their amazing dad; I just wish I’d had a slightly better one, myself.
The horny part is harder to understand.
Or explain.
When did I start finding stone-cold fathering skills hot?!
I don’t know, but I do.
And when Dean glances my way, asking in a softer voice, “Now, what do you girls think about giving Clover a hug? It looks like she could use a hug,” it’s all I can do not to start sobbing.
Sobbing and tingling and feeling things that I shouldn’t be feeling as they cross the living room, Bella and Ava both cheering, “Yes! Yes, Clover needs a hug.”
I lift my hands in front of me, waving them limply back and forth.
“No, guys. Thank you so much, but I’m gross.
Really, I’m—” I break off with an oomph as they envelope me in a tangle of Kate family limbs, laughing as Bella presses a sloppy kiss to my cheek and promptly declares, “Clover tastes like worms!”
“And how do you know what worms taste like?” Dean teases, wrapping us all up in a firm embrace that silently promises he’s here. That he’ll always be here. That their mother might be gone, but he’s not going anywhere. “Bella Katarina Kate, have you been eating earthworms when my back was turned?”
Bella giggles. “Yes!” She’s clearly lying, but having a fantastic time doing it, proving Dean’s parenting instincts continue to be spot-on.
His jaw drops in mock horror. “No! Bella! That’s gross.”
“Super gross,” Ava agrees, giggling. “Earthworms can give you rabies!”
I snort-laugh so loud, I’m instantly embarrassed, but I also can’t stop laughing. “What are you talking about, girlfriend?” I turn to Ava as Dean steps back, shaking my head as we all continue to giggle. “Earthworms cannot give you rabies. How do you even know about rabies, anyway?”
Ava laughs harder, seeming pleased with herself. “I know a lot about animals.”
“She does,” Dean confirms, setting both girls down. “She’s the one who told me that octopus blood is blue.”
“Wow, that’s cool. I love octopi,” I say, shivering.
Now that the immediate threat of emotional collapse has passed, I’m becoming aware of how cold I am again.
“I should probably change into some dry clothes before I turn blue.” I meet Dean’s gaze, forcing myself to ignore the jolt of connection that passes between us.
“Is it okay if I run over to the apartment and grab a fast shower? I was going to just change into fresh clothes, but if you’re home for twenty minutes, I can—”
“Go. Shower. And take your time,” Dean says, waving toward the garage with a smile. “I’m home for the day. I thought I’d come home early and make the girls strawberry smoothies for snack.”
“Yay smoothies!” both girls cheer before Bella demands seriously, “But no banana in mine, Daddy. I’m still mad at bananas from yesterday.”
Dean nods before reaching down to ruffle her silky hair.
“Got it. But why don’t you guys go play with toys for a little while first, and we’ll hold smoothies until four, okay?
Give Clover a chance to shower and clean up so she can join us?
” He glances back at me. “You will join us, right? I bought enough berries for everyone.”
I bite my lip, torn between how much I want to join them and how much I want to run and hide under the covers until I sort through all my feelings.
So many feelings. So many totally inappropriate feelings…
But finally, I nod and say, “Sure. I’ll clean up and be right back.”
“Great. Then we’ll see you soon.” He smiles, warmly, kindly, not at all sexily.
But I still tingle all the way through my shower…