Chapter 17 #2
“I hate you,” I mouth, hoping he reads lips. “I hate you, we’re not friends anymore, and I’m never letting Ava bring you breakfast treats ever again.”
He hops off the window ledge onto the dead grass beside me with another raucous cackle, clearly enjoying our falling out. A beat later, the side door leading into the garage opens, and Clover steps outside.
My heart lurches into my throat, throbbing out a panicked techno beat.
Fuck, that was fast! How did she get down the stairs that fast? I know her leg’s been feeling better, but I didn’t realize she was that much better.
Biting my bottom lip and cursing my luck, I freeze, torn between trying to stay hidden in the shadows and standing and owning up to my mistake.
It was a mistake to come out here.
A big mistake.
Because even now, with her boy toy upstairs waiting for her and a crow mocking my pain as he struts around my yard like he owns the place, the smell of Clover’s perfume is still enough to make me ache.
“I thought that was you,” she says. “What are you up to, Trouble?”
She moves away from the building, off the concrete, and onto the lawn. Just a few more steps and a slight turn to her right, and she’s going to see me.
Catch me.
I should just stand the fuck up already, but for some reason my body refuses to move. So, I suck in a breath and hold it, praying she won’t look my way as she adds, “Well, come on, Bratty McHungrykins. Come get your treat, but then you have to go home.”
Edgar flaps into the air, presumably heading over to Clover, though I don’t lift my gaze to see for sure.
Maybe if I don’t look at her, she won’t look at me, and all of this will be over soon. Maybe I can still avoid the mortification of getting caught spying.
“What a greedy little turd you are,” Clover says with a laugh.
The fact that she seems to have the same love-hate relationship with the crow that I do makes me smile.
“Now, go on, get out of here,” she says over the sound of Edgar gobbling down whatever she brought for him. “And don’t come back again after ten p.m., or I’ll have to tell Maybelline. I’m serious this time, Gremlin.”
But Edgar doesn’t depart without a fuss.
Of course, he doesn’t.
He swoops over to land directly on my head, making me cry out in surprise and surge to my feet. As I stumble across the lawn, batting at my now empty scalp, he’s already flying home, cackling all the way.
I exhale, my shoulders sagging in defeat as I turn to take my medicine.
“Well… Hey there, boss,” Clover says, crossing her arms and arching a wry brow. “Out for a late-night stroll through the bushes?”
I sigh. “Sorry.”
She cocks her head, a silent challenge that reminds me of Edgar’s, before she asks, “For what? For spying on me?” She pauses, her arms tightening across her chest. “Or for firing me and not telling me about it?”
My throat closes up. Shit.
How did she find out about that? I haven’t told anyone, at least not anyone outside the Voodoo administrative offices.
I haven’t even told Blue or Nix or the rest of the team yet.
I was going to do that Monday morning, when I went to grab a few things from the locker room before starting my two weeks of leave.
Before I can come up with a single feasible explanation, Clover adds, “Capo and Keely were at The Wall tonight. Keely told me about your emergency leave of absence.”
My brows shoot up. “What? Why… Why would she do that?”
Seriously, why? Not only is sharing my personal information unprofessional, but I thought Keely and I were friends. Or at least brother-and-sister in arms over the whole “divorced in our mid-thirties and hating it” thing.
Though I confess her story is a lot uglier than mine. At least Frederica didn’t cheat on me in my own bed.
Clover shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe she thought I deserved to know?
I mean, it is my job and my livelihood that’s going away pretty soon.
” My lips part in what I already know will be a lame attempt to explain myself, but she pushes on before I can speak, “But it’s fine.
I mean…it’s not fine, not at all, but whatever.
We shouldn’t talk about it tonight. We can discuss it tomorrow.
Or Monday.” She takes a step backward. “But don’t be mad at Keely, she was drunk and sad.
She just found out her ex’s side piece is pregnant with twins, so… ”
I bare my teeth, hissing in a breath. “Shit. No.”
She nods. “Shit, yes. So, give her a break. If you want to be mad at someone, you can be mad at me for pulling it out of her.”
“I’m not mad at you, Clover,” I say, stepping closer, hating that I’ve hurt her like this. “This isn’t about you. This is about me.”
She rolls her eyes with a huff. “Wow. God, you really didn’t even try with that one, did you? That’s like the oldest ‘good guy’ break-up line in the book. Only we’re not dating, and you’re not a good guy. A good guy wouldn’t fire someone with no warning.”
“You’re right,” I agree. “A good guy would have handled all of this better. A good guy also wouldn’t think the things I think about you, all day, every day. Every time you brush crumbs off your lips or bend over to pick a toy up off the floor. You’re my employee. It’s gross.”
“It’s not gross,” she says, holding her ground as I step closer. “It’s normal. We have chemistry. That doesn’t mean we can’t make this work.”
“Yes, it does,” I cut in.
“Why?” she challenges, her lips parting as I stop a few inches away. Her voice is huskier as she adds, “Because you’re afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?”
“Yes,” I grit out. “I’m afraid I’m going to do what I did last Saturday. Only this time, I won’t stop you when you get down on your knees to suck my dick.”
Her eyes flash, but she doesn’t look away or hesitate before she shoots back, “Good. You shouldn’t. I like giving as much as I like receiving, and I owe you one. More than one, actually.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I owe you a safe place to work without fear of harassment or—”
“Bullshit. I’m not afraid,” she cuts in as she shifts closer.
So close, I can feel her body heat caressing my chest through her plaid pajamas and my sweatshirt.
“You’re the one who’s afraid. You’re so afraid, you’ve been running from me since the beginning.
Since that night at McLeary’s, before the boss thing was even in the picture. ”
My jaw clenches so tight it sends a flash of discomfort through my skull.
She’s right.
But, “I had my reasons. I still do.”
She tips her head back, bringing her lips closer to mine. “Yeah, I’ve heard your reasons, but here’s the thing… I don’t believe you.”
I grunt, not sure how else to reply.
She doesn’t believe me.
Do I believe me?
I thought I did, but when her lips are this close and her sweet, lemonade-scented breath is teasing at my nose, all my reasons seem stupid.
Who cares if she has a family kind of connection to the team?
Who cares if she’s younger? Who cares if she’s even my fucking nanny?
I trust myself not to take advantage of the power I have over her paycheck, I really do.
And I trust her to lay down the law if she feels a boundary’s been crossed that shouldn’t have been.
No, I don’t have reasons.
I have one reason. “I have feelings, okay?” I force out. “For you. That’s the problem. That’s been the problem since McLeary’s, and it’s only gotten worse. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
She blinks, looking uncertain for the first time since she stepped outside. “I… I don’t know what I wanted to hear. I was just mad.”
“You have a right to be mad. I’m sorry. I handled all of this badly.”
So badly.
So badly that it feels like my heart is gnawing through my ribs as I realize this is goodbye.
Maybe we’ll hash through a few more logistical things tomorrow, but for all intents and purposes, this is the last conversation I’ll ever have with this woman, the one who made me feel fully alive again for the first time in so long.