Chapter 20 #2
I shrug. “It’s fine.” I shake my head before stretching my increasingly tight neck to one side.
“I mean, no, it’s not fine. And it’s definitely part of the reason I’m hesitant to think about something long-term with a man who has children.
I never want to make a kid feel as uncomfortable in their own home as I did.
I don’t want to feel that way, either. Home should be a place where you feel peaceful and accepted, not… on your guard. You know?”
His brow furrows as he nods. “I get it. A safe place where you can relax and be yourself is really important for kids. And grown-ups.”
“It is.” I nod for a beat, searching his face as I debate the wisdom of what I’m about to say. But finally, I can’t hold it back. “I never imagined I could feel at home that way with someone else’s children. But then I met Ava and Bella, and…”
His expression softens, hope and affection mixing in his gaze. “And you realized that they’re the most adorable, perfect, funny, fantastic kids on the planet, and you fell head over heels for them, and want to be best friends with them forever.”
I laugh, shocked to find tears suddenly stinging the backs of my eyes. “Yeah, pretty much.” I nod, fighting to swallow as I swipe at the corners of my eyeliner. “Shit, you’re going to make me cry.”
He gathers me back into his arms. “Don’t cry.
You can be best friends with them forever, no matter what.
I promise. No matter what happens with us, I will always facilitate your relationship with the girls.
As much or as little as you want and are able to see them.
And I’ll make sure they know how lucky they are to have the love of an incredible woman like you. ”
My throat spasms, locking up completely for a moment as fighting a case of the sobs becomes my full-time job.
But I refuse to leave this party with eyeliner all over my face.
I will not cause a scene or make a mess. I will breathe my way through this tangle of big feelings and find my way to the words that need to be said.
When I’m finally able to draw a breath without tearing up, I say in a rough voice, “I do love them. And I would appreciate that so much. They are so special to me already. The thought of losing them makes me sad.”
“Don’t be sad, beautiful.” He brushes gentle fingers down my face before cupping my jaw in his hand.
“And don’t stress about making any big decisions right now.
I think we should just take it day by day.
We’ll have fun and make memories and enjoy the time we get to spend with each other and the girls and…
see how things go. And if you decide down the line that this isn’t what you want or need, we’ll go our separate ways with kindness and respect.
No matter what, I know I’ll be grateful for every day I get to spend with you.
Even if those days don’t stretch on for as long as I’d like. ”
“And if you get sick of me, I’ll understand, too. I know I’m still kind of young and stupid,” I say, fighting big emotions again as he gazes down at me with what looks a whole lot like love.
Maybe it’s friend love.
Or grateful love for the way I’ve helped his kids.
Or maybe it’s something more, something as big and beautiful as the feeling that floods my chest as he whispers, “You’re the farthest thing from stupid. You’re fucking perfect and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
And then, he kisses me, and I don’t feel the cold anymore. All I feel is warm and safe and a little overwhelmed, but in a good way.
An amazing way. And before I realize what I’m doing, I have his pants open and his cock in my hand.
What can I say?
Big feelings apparently make me want to fondle a big cock.
“Fuck, Clover,” he says, as I stroke him and he squeezes my ass again.
“I’m sorry,” I say, but I don’t stop. I swoop my thumb over the tip of him, spreading sticky pre-come around the plump head of his cock, before stroking him again. “I’m not usually like this. I think you’re turning me into a sex addict.”
“Same,” he says, walking me back until my bottom hits the wall in a small alcove tucked out of sight of the door. “Think you can get your dress down fast if someone else decides to visit the roof?”
I nod, fast and loose. “Yes. I can. I absolutely can.”
A moment later, my dress is up around my waist, and my panties are tucked into Dean’s front pocket.
Then, he shoves his pants and boxer briefs down just far enough to set his erection free before lifting me and guiding my legs around his waist. He somehow manages to get his cock lined up without releasing my thighs—skilled, the man is so very skilled—and then he’s inside me, sending my breath rushing out with an increasingly familiar surge of arousal and relief as he takes me against a wall for the second time tonight.
Third time, if you count the shower as a wall…
“Yes, yes,” I chant, clinging to him as my hips buck harder into his. I’m already so sensitive, so well-fucked that my pleasure spirals fast. “More. Deeper. Please, oh, God. It’s so good, Dean. It’s so good with you.”
“So good,” he says, his breath coming faster as he gives me exactly what I need. “Fuck, you make me want you so much, baby. All the time. Every minute of every day, Clover. I just want to be inside you, making you come for me.”
“I love it,” I say, biting my lip as the unwinding begins. “Love it so much, so… God, I’m coming. I’m coming again.”
He groans his approval into my neck as he joins me, his cock pulsing so deep inside that I feel it in places no cock should be able to reach.
But I like that he reaches those places.
That he reaches all my places…
Even my heart, that place I’m beginning to think I’ve been guarding too hard. At least as far as he’s concerned.
“I like you,” I confess as he wipes my thighs with a tissue from my purse, insisting on performing the clean-up crew duties, as usual.