Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
The past week has been hectic. Ever since the old building caught on fire, there’s been a local freak-out. People jumping out of their skin from the slightest noise. It’s not like anyone was inside the building, but everyone in town still thinks it was a targeted attack.
I’m also anxious, but not for the reason everyone thinks.
I remember skipping off to the old gym to get high that day, right before last period, which is apparently when the fire started.
I recall walking in, sitting down, lighting the joint.
I coughed my lungs out on the first few hits, and then everything goes blank.
There’s not a single recollection after that, which boggles me to no end.
I couldn’t have started that fire, could I? And if I did… how did I get out?
But, like usual, there’s no one to confide in about it.
I’m left to deal with my own guilt, not sure if I was the cause or not.
And to make matters worse, people have started to point their finger in Axl’s direction, blaming him when there’s no evidence he was even in the building, much less set it on fire.
No, I’m pretty sure I did that. I don’t know how or why, but I can feel in my bones that I was the cause.
I’m stepping around more broken glass than usual with the rest of the town, trying to stay out of anyone’s sight, but it’s getting harder by the day.
Which is why I’m glad graduation is finally happening this Saturday.
I’m so ready for high school to be over.
Like the rest of my peers, I’ll probably go to Greenwood University, but I’m hoping things will be a little different.
Maybe I can finally start letting a little bit of my real self out, stop hiding behind the false reputation I’ve cultivated over the years.
The idea of pulling the curtain back is daunting, but so is the idea of staying put behind it.
I’m ready to get out, to finally breathe, even if it shakes me to my core.
I’ve spent the last few days helping Nolan, this year’s valedictorian, with the ceremony.
It’s not enough that he has to write a speech and finish everything with classes, but the administration also wanted him in charge of graduation.
He’s finicky and a bit on the shyer side, so I felt obligated to help.
And, of course, that made my “friends” want to help too.
The stage is slightly off-center when I get to the football field, but it’s tall and beautiful as I imagine how Saturday will go.
I can already see the principals and teachers lined up in their chairs on the stage, apart from the one chair designated for Nolan.
The microphone and podium stand tall at the center.
There’s a huge banner with “Class of 2000” in white letters popping on a green background.
When I step closer, I notice Gabby bossing a few guys as they line up the chairs in front of the stage, but there’s another body standing close to her, yelling just as loud.
I roll my eyes, not wanting to deal with Will’s shit today.
“Stacey!” he exclaims a bit too excitedly when he sees me. “It’s about time you showed up. We have so much to do.”
I arch a brow at him. “It looks like everything is almost set. But why are you already putting the chairs out? Shouldn’t we do that Saturday morning?”
Will laughs. “We’re just seeing how everything is going to go. You know, simulating how smooth the plan is.”
Gabby hits him in the shoulder like he said too much. I narrow my eyes at them, crossing my arms and waiting for them to explain.
“Is something going on?” I ask.
“No,” Gabby immediately says, but Will gives her a look. “Ugh, fine. I guess you can know. We’re going to get that arsonist freak back.”
For a second, I’m not sure what her words mean. Arsonist freak? Then the meaning slides over me.
“Axl?” I ask.
She shushes me, looking side to side, before turning back to me with a lowered voice. “Yes. He deserves what’s coming to him. So, we’re going to plan a little surprise for him at graduation.”
“Pig’s blood,” Will injects, his face lit up with excitement. “We’re going to dump pig’s blood on him.”
“You’re going to mimic that scene from Carrie?”
His brows scrunch in. “From what?”
“The horror movie—” At the look on his blank face, I sigh. “Nevermind. You don’t even know if Axl is the one who set the old gym on fire.”
“So? Even if it wasn’t him, he’s bound to do something criminal sooner or later. We might as well strike first, let him know who he’s messing with.”
I neutralize my face, but my insides are boiling. Their delusions are so real to them, and I’m realizing there is nothing that can be said to put their heads on straight. To them, Axl really is a criminal. He’s someone to taunt and pester because they deem him a real threat.
He is, technically, but not in any violent way. He is a threat to this town, to the way things work, to their traditions. He makes them afraid just by existing, and that thought makes something behind my eyes sting.
“Okay, so how are we doing this?” I ask, disgust roiling in my stomach as the words fall out. They respond with arrogant smiles curling onto their faces, and something in my stomach curdles.
I don’t know how things are going to go for me, but I do know one thing. I cannot let this happen, no matter how much I have to stick my neck out to stop it.
Friday night, the school is vacant and dark. It’s almost eerie, and I can’t believe I have to spend my last night of high school doing this. My insides boil with anger the more I think about Gabby and Will’s plan, how idiotic and mean-spirited it is to devise something of this multitude.
I pass the old gym and a shiver runs over my body.
Everyone has hated Axl for simply existing, so now they have a real reason to believe he is the criminal they think he is, they are ready to strike.
I sigh as I move past the building and head down to the football stadium.
I doubt they’d do this if they knew who was really behind the fire, but then again, maybe they would.
I stand idly by the shed to the side of the field where they normally keep the sports equipment for practice, waiting for the one person I know who has a key to the building.
I’m hoping Gabby and Will trusted me with the real location of the bucket and it’s actually behind this door.
If it’s not, I don’t know what I’ll do. Tell the administration?
That seems like way too much heat on my back, but I can’t let this happen. The idea of it is absolutely horrible.
A hand touches my shoulder and I flinch, jumping nearly a foot in the air. “It’s just me!” Nolan tugs off his beanie, showing me his blond hair, and puts his hands up in surrender. I put my hand to my chest, working overtime to get my heart beating regularly once more.
“Shit, Nolan. I knew you were coming, but you still scared me.”
“Oof, sorry,” he responds, lowering his arms. “I thought you heard me walk up. Or smelled me.”
I must have been too lost in my thoughts to hear the leaves crunching under his sneakers or the subtle hint of snowdrops in the air.
He looks like he’s in full stealth mode: head-to-toe black clothing, black beanie in hand, and long sleeves to his wrists.
He even has black gloves on to blend in.
“Wow, you really look ready for a mission.”
Nolan laughs and tugs his hat back on. “Thanks for letting me know about this, Stacey. Principal Adams would have blamed me if things got out of hand, and I really don’t need that to be my last impression of high school.”
I smirk. “The rest of it was bad enough, huh?”
He shrugs. “I had my books and well-respected parents. Most people focused on bullying Axl and Ledger, so I kind of owe it to them too. My high school experience could have been much worse.”
My lips pinch. I guess that’s true. Most of our class turned their sights on the same people our parents had, so Nolan—despite being a nervous wreck most of the time—didn’t get singled out as much.
I’m glad I asked him to help me with this, that I could trust him to help navigate this undoing of the most idiotic prank I’ve ever heard.
“They stored it in this shed. We just need to get in and get it out.”
“Gotcha,” he responds, pulling out the keys Principal Adams entrusted to him. Gabby has the other pair, but I don’t know who she got them from. Some twat on staff, I bet.
When we get inside, there’s a stench. It stinks up the entire building, and I’m positive it’ll take months for it to air out. The closer we get, the more the putrid smell usurps my breathing. I choke on it, coughing when we finally get to the bucket and see the pile of brown mush inside.
Nolan’s nose scrunches. “Is that—”
“Yeah, I think it is,” I say, defeated by the realization. “They told me they were going to dump pig’s blood.”
“Like Carrie? No, this is way worse than that. Oh my god, the smell.” He gags again, his hand covering his mouth to keep the horrid scent from getting in.
We both stand there, gagging and contemplating our rescue mission. This bucket looks heavy, but we have to move it. I refuse to leave this room until we do, and from the smell, I don’t know if I can stand here much longer.
“Jeez, I wish I had brought gloves now,” I comment, letting another gag out at the thought of touching the bucket bare-handed.
“Here.” Nolan immediately takes his off and hands them to me. “I’ll just take ten showers when I get home.”
I look at them and then back at his face. He’s insistent, and I let a tiny smile loose at the gesture. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Let’s get this done so we can forget it ever happened.”
A small chuckle escapes me. “Good thinking.”
The gloves are slightly too big, but Nolan is a beta like myself, so it’s not unmanageable as I grip the side of the medium-sized bucket.
He takes the other side and we lift, feeling the manure slosh inside.
I stick my nose into my shoulder, trying to calm myself through the horrible sensations as we walk slowly to the shed door and then outside.
We stop for a second so Nolan can lock the shed before continuing on, taking little steps so we don’t accidentally drip any unmentionables on ourselves or the ground.
“Where is it safe to dump something like this?” I wonder out loud.
“There are composts that farmers use,” Nolan answers, and I widen my eyes in surprise before I remember he is a walking encyclopedia.
We finally get to the parking lot where our cars are parked and put the bucket down between our cars.
“I know where we can find one, but it’s a little bit away. Are you okay with going with me?”
“I’m not going to leave you to clean house on your own, Nolan.”
Nolan nods, but his head tilts. “You’re… different than I expected, Stacey.”
I should be curious by that statement, but it’s by design. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re—” He pauses, looking thoughtful. “The image I had of you doesn’t compute with this. Helping out the town pariah without any kind of reward or praise. I’d go as far as to say that I thought you’d find this kind of prank funny.”
I blanch. Maybe I’ve been too good at pretending, because that’s awful. I wonder how many more people in town think I’m a heartless human being.
“Well, no. This isn’t funny at all. I didn’t even think it was funny when it was pig’s blood.” I bite my lip, wondering if I should say this next part. “But… don’t tell anyone this, okay? I need to… I don’t know, blend in, for a little bit longer.”
Nolan smiles gently. “You don’t want anyone to know the best of you, huh?”
I shake my head. “Not yet. There’s too much pressure. And my mom—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he says sincerely. “I’m just glad I got to see this side of you. It shows there are other people here, who grew up here, that aren’t as horrible as our parents.”
We get the bucket settled in Nolan’s truck, which he said he borrowed from his shithead father. It’s secure, but he doesn’t mind the idea of a little bit spilling in the truck bed. “My father deserves it,” he says, before pulling out of the parking spot and setting forward onto the road.
As we move toward our destination, I watch the fields go by, the smell of grass and the night time chill falling over me.
Snowdrops and gardenias mix to override the horrible smell in our noses, and it makes me feel hopeful.
That even in the shittiest of situations—literally—there is always something there to make it better, someone who can help bear the brunt or lend a hand.
This mission was successful, but for more than one reason.
It’s bred optimism into me, and I wonder if it can help me gather the courage to take the leap of faith I need—once and for all.