Chapter 15 Highschool Sweethaters
Highschool Sweethaters
“Look who it is.” Jake West is balancing and throwing a small sponge ball from one hand to the other, lying on his bed, as he knows better.
“I hate you.”
“Yet, here you are. So, do we have a deal?”
I stare at his mischievous hazel eyes and his devil smile, and I need to answer before I can change my mind. Like I did this morning. Three times. Allison literally kicked me out.
“Yes.” The word feels strange in my mouth, and I articulate it like so.
“Wow, seeing you struggle like that. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He wipes a fake tear, and I feel my veins getting more dilated from all the blood burning from hatred.
“I’m sorry for the person who’s gonna end up with you.”
“Ah, the self-pity.”
I humph triumphantly and then catch what he just said.
“What?”
A smirk grows larger on his face as does the shade on my cheeks, and he winks.
“You stop that!” I groan loudly, and he just sits there, viciously smiling, and I get out of this Manwhoric room.
As soon as I’m stepping out, he speaks louder.
“Please close the door, girlfriend!”
I stop and, feeling like my heart could explode from such anger, I go to his door frame, and since I left the door halfway open, I open it even more.
“That’s just rude!” He shouts as I leave his room, calming myself and repeating, He’s not worth it. That’s a brief summary of my interactions with him and, honestly, my life.
* * *
Talking with the stars reassures me I’m not going crazy. Allison is long gone asleep, and it’s fair since it’s 3 AM. I didn’t bring myself to take a pill today, so I’m just lying with the stars and really thinking if it’s worth it.
I’m playing with the long-distance flashlight and pointing it randomly at spots, avoiding windows from my house, not caring so much about pointing it at a certain someone’s window. He definitely deserves that.
The flashlight is a good distraction from my inner thoughts because when I’m alone with them, it can go from light to dark really fast. Most of the time, I replay my mum leaving, and it causes me tiny anxiety. Okay, tiny big anxiety.
I wish I’d run after her. At least say goodbye.
Those are the things I feed myself ever since she left.
I wasn’t that young when she left because I was old enough to remember all the good times with her.
Sometimes I feel guilty because I wish I were Lindsey and didn’t mostly remember her.
It pains my heart to even think about it.
I feel light in my eyes, and it’s not coming from my flashlight.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” He rhetorically asks, and I close my eyes, my depressive thoughts leaving me and being replaced by murderous ones.
“Just go away.” I push him, and for a moment there, I really thought it worked. Of course it didn’t, but a girl can still dream.
“Is that the way to greet your new boyfriend?”
I feel my breath heavy and a lot of regret coming from my insides. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t know…”
My jaw drops open. He did not.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I support myself on my elbows, and my eyes glare at him.
He is still holding himself over the fence, and I sure hope he doesn’t come any closer, or something bad is gonna happen. It always does. Besides, nothing good can come of a hopeless romantic having late-night talks with a gorgeous next-door boy.
“Nothing, forget I said anything. It slipped.” He shrugs not so regretfully.
It slipped my ass.
“I have gone on dates…” I defend out loud, with this unrequested will.
“I didn’t say you didn’t.”
When I just practically scream with my face, he senses he has to elaborate.
“But never more than one, right? Date?”
I want to argue, but I can’t because he’s right.
I’m seventeen, and I have gone on five dates. With five different guys. It should be great. It wasn’t.
First boy, fourth grade. Huge crush on Jeremy Rylor. We went out for ice cream on a sunny afternoon in May. It was perfect, until a wasp got near us, he screamed the most high-pitched sound I heard to this day, and like a genius, started to get rid of it with his cap. I got stung.
All the other four dates escalated from there as if that’s possible. Believe me, it was.
My last date was this March. Blade Topper. He was charming, attractive, and so funny. His girlfriend thought so too. I got out of that date with an unnecessary slap, and water was splattered all over me.
I got home, and the Wests were over, but I went straight to the room, locked it, and cried. A lot.
“It’s none of your business.” I say, my voice fading a little remembering all those disasters.
I lay back down, distraught and embarrassed by those memories.
How can all of them have failed? Some dark part of me thinks in some way I messed it up. And another part of me repeats in a big neon sign ‘PEOPLE LEAVE’. Either way, it’s not good.
He’s still pointing the flashlight at me, waiting for something.
“Well, it didn’t work out, now leave me alone.” I lay back down, seriously hoping to have some peace.
“I kinda feel like I ruined one of them.”
“You kinda feel?”
Date number three. Carter Ryleigh. Seventh grade to eighth grade.
Summer, beneath the fence at night. He was more of the nerdy type, ideal for me, spending the summer in this town with his grandparents for a while.
We were talking about how good the fourth Harry Potter book was, and then two people in Halloween masks and a bucket approached us.
Last thing I know, eggs were being thrown, and my date was mad because I knew those bullies, and they said I told them to do this.
He fled the scene before I could even say sorry.
I did get my revenge when I hid his video games, and he was miserable for a whole month.
“Okay, it was my fault. Riden’s parents dropped him off during the whole summer and rarely called, and he needed some fun. At the time, I thought I was a genius, but I was a dick.”
I open my mouth, outraged, but then catch myself.
Did Jake West admit he was a dick?
“I may not know much about relationships, but you’re one to talk.”
“Yeah, I know.”
A surprisingly comfortable silence sits between us, and when I finally think he’s gone, he speaks.
“I just realized we both are terrible with relationships. Shouldn’t we prepare or something?”
I hesitate. I know I have to do this. It’s protocol. It would be foolish of me not to set rules and boundaries and stories straight after reading so many books about fake dating. We don’t have to do it all today, but at least set some things straight.
I exhale harshly, closing my eyes.
“Okay, we need to talk about some stuff.” I huff because stargazing just got ruined.
And a tiny bit of relief catches my breath when I realise I won’t be alone with my depressing thoughts.
I tap the spot next to mine. He looks at me strangely, and I send him a pointed look.
“I don’t bite.”
“Well, I remember…”
“That was one time!” I protest, the tiniest bit of a smile showing.
Yep, I already bit him. What? We were kids! He was going to wet me with a water hose, and he was grabbing me, so I, you know, bit him.
“Okay, okay…” But he sends me a suspicious look. I roll my eyes. He sits next to me, and I start to speak:
“How did this start?”
“We were in the library, and you confessed your adoration for me. You wouldn’t be the first one.” He says, grinning, and I snort.
“Something more realistic, if you will?” I arch an eyebrow.
“Hey, it doesn’t have to be adoration. It can be dying passion.” He mocks casually.
“West, I’m serious!” I smack his arm.
“Fine…” Jake looks into my eyes, and a warm feeling washes over me. I hate that strange look.
“Uh! I know!” I break his gaze. “We were in the library the next day you saw Amanda with what’s his name, and we talked and understood each other well, and for the first time ever we weren’t fighting, so we gave it a chance.”
“That seems good. I’m glad all those romance books and movies had any use in that head of yours.” I just look at him, dumbfounded, and then lie on the blanket and start to look at the stars.
“So what’s your fascination with stargazing?” He asks laying down too.
“I don’t know. I guess I feel calm when I look at the stars. It’s one of the things I can sleep with, without sleeping pills.”
“Oh yes. That alarm the other day, was it for that? Sleeping pills?”
“Yes.” I say distant. I’m a very pensive person, and at night my head just doesn’t stop thinking. I only manage to fall asleep under the stars or embraced with my family. So I guess with things that I love.
“Why do you need them?”
“Why do you care?” I ask back briskly. It’s bad enough we have to date, let alone reveal my inner thoughts.
“Just curious.” He responds, calm, as if I wasn’t an idiot just now to him. “Whatever the reason is, I’m sorry for that.”
“Why are you being nice?” I ask, getting deja vu from years ago.
“I’m preparing myself for the upcoming days. I mean, we really are going to appear to be- In love.” He hesitates on the words, surely because he never felt it. I haven’t either. “I guess we have to make an effort to get along.” His voice breaks through the darkness.
“In the streets and in front of relatives. Don’t even think I’m going to go easy on you when we’re alone.” I laugh, already enjoying the upcoming remarks.
“If we ever get the chance to be alone, someone is going to die.” He dramatically says, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Can’t say it was nice knowing you.” I shrug mockingly.
“Same.” Pause. “So, did you ever find a constellation, or are all these years stargazing just for show?”
“I actually do know.” One. I mentally reveal. He doesn’t have to know that. I roll my eyes and speak in annoyance.
“Ursa Major was the first one I found.” I say, my eyes traveling to the said constellation.
“I don’t know where it is. It is one of the very, very few things that Jake West is bad at. Finding constellations.”
“That and referring to himself in the third person.” I roll my eyes. “It’s over there.” I point.
“I can’t see it.” I face palm. “Wait a minute.” His head leans over mine and turns to the sky, expecting to see from my point of view. “Where is it?” He asks. I point again. “Aha! Found it!” But the excitement was too much because he fell over me.
“Urgh!” I groan. He is heavy as hell.
Maybe it is because of the muscles.
God, Madelaine, just shut up.
“Could you do me the favor of getting off me?”
He sees my annoyed face and states, “Umm… Don’t know Brown. You are very comfortable.” I roll my eyes.
“You know what? I’m not going to argue. I was already planning on sleeping here tonight.”
“Then I’ll stay too.” He informs, getting off me. That’s better. Wait, what?
“Oh no, you won’t! Didn’t you hear that I find the art of stargazing calm? You definitely don’t calm me down.”
“I know I make you excited, Brown, but you didn’t have to make it that obvious.” He smirks, winking at me. I blush and sigh in exhaustion.
And then I take one look at the stars, get lost in the sky, and fall asleep.