Chapter 23 Stuff Like This Only Happens In The Woods
Stuff Like This Only Happens In The Woods
I wake up and have a heart attack. Jake’s long gone, and in his place, or better than that, sat in front of my drooling face, is my dad.
“Dad, I thought I told you to stop watching me when I sleep. It’s creepy, and I’m too old for that.”
“You’re my baby, and you’re also not the boss of me. And it’s not creepy if it’s made out of love.”
“Said every stalker ever.”
He ignores me and presses a kiss to my temple. I let him get up just so I can fall asleep again, but noooooo-
“We have a surprise.” My dad tells me excitedly.
Not sure how I’m going to feel about this. My dad is a gem, but the stuff he likes, proactive stuff, going-for-a-run stuff, takes away all my will to enjoy living.
“I don’t know John. I don’t think she’s going to like it.” My aunt eyes him sideways, taking a sip of the morning coffee. Her very own fuel. Oh, yeah, he dragged me to the kitchen.
“Shut up, she’ll like it, I’m in denial.”
“That’s for me to decide.”
I really hope this doesn’t turn out to be like that time we went camping.
It was five years ago, and the whole time I was hyping myself up.
Saying, It’s fine, it’s only a weekend, but it wasn’t.
Friday night was okay, except for the mosquitoes.
We sang around the fire like a good ol’American family and ate marshmallows.
Saturday was when the Wests arrived. We went fishing, hated it; we went for a walk, hated it; we went to get wood, hated it, and at night, when everyone was asleep, I was in my tent when a noise that came from outside startled me.
Then it started to shake my tent, and I froze.
The zip opened, and Jake roared in front of me, but I pretended to be unimpressed.
I won’t admit it to anyone, but he really got me that night.
I think I even peed a little. Especially hated it.
Sunday was the best day, because it was time to pack.
I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time, and when we got home, I kissed the floor. Literally.
“You’ll only know what it is when you get there.”
He’s only saying this because he knows that if I don’t like it, I’ll chain myself to a tree, hippie style, so I don’t go.
I hate surprises. Not the surprise itself but the suspense.
It kills me. And my dad insists on making them because, well, I suspect he’s conspiring with my therapist, and they both want me to let go of control of my life so they torture me like this.
I eat and get dressed. I did these with zero enthusiasm and some beating myself up because my dad really tries to make us happy.
When I come downstairs, everyone’s ready to go, so we all get in our cars.
“Allison, haven’t seen you in a while.” I say, as soon as I lay eyes on my best friend, sitting by the window. “Ironic considering we’re living in the same house and all.”
“Don’t get me talking. Like I would want to hold the candle while you and Jake canoodle.”
I hit her arm, and she just rolls her eyes playfully.
“I’ve just been… Busy.”
She makes that suspicious and regretful face, and I lament.
“Who is he?” I cross my arms and arch an eyebrow, and she gives me that fake white teeth smile.
“I swear I didn’t mean to find someone, I just- I’m not choosing them, they’re choosing me!” She abruptly turns defensive, and my head falls into my hands.
I love that Allison is a casual dater and can have fun without daydreaming about someone for the remaining five years.
But the guys she usually dates/hangs out with are all trash.
With no exception. It’s probably rooted in the lack of attention she gets at home, considering her dad is a hotshot lawyer full of rich talk, her mom is the CEO of a hardware company, and her heart is somewhere close to hardware.
But I don’t tell her this, like she doesn’t tell me that I have abandonment issues due to my skanky mom.
I don’t bring up hers, and she doesn’t bring up mine.
“Well, now I have to meet him. You’re spending too much time there instead of spending time here. With your family. Who owns you.” I point around, and my dad calls me out for being annoying.
The drive was excruciatingly long, and I just wanted to be even more annoying and ask Are we there yet?
But when we, in fact, do get there, I wish I had never wanted to find out in the first place.
“Oh no. Why?” I whine.
“Girls, I’ll be needing your phones. To make it an immersive experience, Madelaine, stop doing that face.” He warns, and we begrudgingly pass our phones to him. Now this is the greatest form of torture.
We’re standing just outside of Mailview, in a preserved forest where humans built paths and created a space where animals and people could coexist as one. Basically, we’re going to a place where you walk more than three and a half miles and have to live with wild animals crossing in front of us.
“Speaking of wild animals.” I mutter for only me and Allison to hear.
Jake West struts out of his car with the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, aimed at me and my disdain.
“Stop giggling, I was tricked into this.” I excuse myself, towards him.
“I didn’t say anything.” His hands fly upwards so as not to show any guilt on his end.
“But you thought it.”
“I think lots of things, Brown, and you like none of it.” He walks closer, and he quickly whispers in my ear. “You wanna know what I think about?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway.”
I’m such a liar, and I’m starting to be like every other girl who bends at his words… But you didn’t hear that from me.
“You. Me. Mailview’s chapel. Bring a dress, and I’ll offer the rings.” He winks, and to mask how much that affected me, I scoff, disgusted.
“How generous of you.”
“I know.” He smuggly brushes off, like he’s god-almighty.
“Could you two stop flirting with each other for one second?” Riden pops into the conversation.
“Why the bad mood, Riden?” I ask, obviously already knowing the answer.
“As if you didn’t know already.” He spits out.
Oh my god, he confirms it. That should make me happier, but it only makes me sadder. Poor Riden pining after Allison while she’s with another train wreck who doesn’t deserve her.
“Would it be too bad if we locked them in a nearby shed together and let them…” I whisper sideways to Jake, and he laughs.
“That’s not very PG-13 of you, Brown.”
I roll my eyes.
“One, you made it dirty. I was gonna say let them talk, and two, if what it takes for them to get together is walk out of there with Bridge-Matten babies, then yes, fuck PG-13.”
He whistles in a surprised melody.
“Wow, even dropped the f-bomb. Who are you and what have you done with Madelaine Brown?” He grins like an idiot, and I shove him.
“I’ve always said f- The f-word.” I stop myself because I don’t like to just throw it around if it’s not meant to be said, you know?
“Hmm.” He muses, and I walk faster in front of him.
Riden joins us by scoffing, and then Allison tags along. Meanwhile, our parents are already 50 feet ahead, praising how good it is to get in touch with nature with no phones in sight.
“Hey.” Riden casually greets Allison in a moody, let-down tone.
“Hey.” Now her tone, I don’t know if I detect pity or… Regret, maybe?
“Shoot, I think I dropped an earring back there. Can you help me look?”
“Real smooth.” West mutters while I drag his hand backwards, and we both crouch looking at the ground.
“You know I can see you have both earrings, right?”
She gives up on me, and she and Riden walk side by side. The interaction starts. At first, they’re awkward, and then, when they gain more momentum, she keeps turning her head away, and he looks like a smitten puppy, glancing at her.
“I can’t watch this. It’s too painful.” I cover my eyes, continuing to walk.
A good minute passes of me trying to sneak a peek between my fingers when suddenly I hear Jake saying, “You might want to see this.”
I take my hands off my eyes, and Allison and Riden are side-hugging. Kind of uneasy. But yay! I start to shake Jake’s arm with excitement, and then try to go to them, but Jake stops me with his arms.
“Oh no, you won’t.”
“Uh, yes, I will.” I say through gritted teeth.
“Brown, leave them alone. Let them breathe.” He says in a warning tone. He’s right, but who is he to warn me?
I take a step towards them while ironically smirking at Jake and begin to fasten my pace.
“Why are you so stubborn?” He teleports to my side — let’s be honest, I’m no runner and especially not a football player like him — gets down to waist-level, and picks me up, like I weigh nothing.
“Jake! I mean- West!” My brain is in panic mode because why am I liking this?!
“Hmm… I don’t think so. Oh, this is actually fun, I could take you everywhere.”
“Come on, West.”
“You were going to interrupt them. Good stuff happens without meddling. So no, you will stay here with me.”
Urgh. He can be so agonizing. At least I don’t dislike him anymore. I stand him. That’s it. I never hated him. Hate is a strong word, and not even Jake deserves it. Shit, not even Amanda deserves it. Maybe a little bit, but I don’t really care enough right now. But I definitely don’t like her.
As he carries me, I discreetly pull out his hidden second phone. It’s actually good that he even picked me up because I don’t have to walk, and I can take photos of his butt and gorgeous selfies of me giving him the finger.
“Hey, Brown?”
“Yes?” I look good in this one…
“Why are you not complaining?”
“Uh…” He puts me down too quickly for me to react and looks at me. I try to put the phone in my pocket, but I’m too slow.
“Are you crazy?! Give me my phone.”