5. Luke
CHAPTER 5
Luke
“Hey, Gi,” I call out to Gigi who’s checking her belly out in the mirror. We’re at thirteen weeks and four days now. She’s growing, alright. Little by little, but I notice the difference. Her mood has been better, too, and sex has gotten even more rampant. If she wasn’t already pregnant, I’d get a box of condoms just in case.
“What?”
“Ross just told me that he and June are one and done. Their baby has colic, and June doesn’t want to go through it again. Maybe we can buy their baby things from them.”
I’m midway through Googling what the fuck colic is when Gigi answers, “That sounds great!” She beams. “My mom says the car seat has to be new, but everything else can be secondhand.”
I think she’s been worrying about money. Last week, when I used her laptop, I saw her Excel sheet. She was trying to count how many shifts she’d need to take for us to be able to afford diapers in the first year. I need a solid plan, because if her calculation is right, the diaper cost alone would bury us.
“You’ve been talking about baby things with Bianca?”
Gigi turns her head to me and rolls her eyes. “Yes, Luke. She’s my mother.” She grabs her thick-ass social psychology textbook and plops herself next to me on her bed. “She’s excited.”
“She is?” I cock an eyebrow, remembering her telling me that she’s too young to be a grandmother. I’m still waiting for the day she’ll show up unannounced to murder me for impregnating her only child out of wedlock.
Nodding, Gigi grins before leaning her head on my shoulder. “She called me careless multiple times, but yes. She’s coming around to the idea. She’s also excited for us to go to Kinsdale Springs and finally talk to Vince about the house.”
I feel a sour taste in my mouth at the mention of Dad. If he was angry that I started dating Gigi, he’s going to be furious now. Count on him to shit on things that make me happy. But I don’t want to talk about that with her right now, I’m finally slowly getting the happy Gigi back. So instead, I kiss her temple and lift her chin up with my thumb, taking her focus away from studying. “I’ve never been more happy that someone forgot to put on a reminder on their phone, Gi.”
And I mean it. I really truly do. But I can repeat myself a hundred times and she still won’t believe it. I see it in her eyes. Gigi and I are wired differently. I’m the type to tackle problems as they come; I needed to be like this ever since I was young. Gigi likes to think, analyze, and then make a contingency plan. I guess during her overanalyzing everything, she brainwashed herself into thinking that she was baby trapping me. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell her that I could’ve also put a damn condom on. My apologies for kind of putting the blame on her in the beginning all fall on deaf ears. The only thing I can do now is reassure her that I’m happy. Reassure. Reassure. Reassure.
“I’m getting an IUD after the twins are born,” she announces. “They’re even better than the shot. The doctor puts it in once and then you’re all set for a few years.”
“We’ll worry about that when we get there, okay?”
She gives me a noncommittal hum but doesn’t say anything else.
I straighten my left arm so that she can lean on it. While Gigi is busy reading her book, I think about how our life will be after A and B are born. Where would the four of us even live? Gigi definitely needs to move out of the dorm at some point. Imagining her breastfeeding two babies on this twin XL bed with Zoey as a roommate is causing my face to grimace. I put looking for a new place for us to move into on my mental to-do list.
Taking a page out of Gigi’s book, I picture us a year from now. Two years from now. Five years from now. Eighteen years from now.
“Gigi.”
“Yeah?” She snuggles closer to me, giving me her back as she lies on her side, her textbook still in front of her face.
“I think we should get married.”
She turns her head to me and snorts. “Are you serious?”
“Why not?” I ask, my tone clipped, unable to hide the fact that I’m slightly offended by her response. It’s not like we’re actually blood related. We don’t even share the same last name. Thank fuck .
Gigi closes her book before wrapping her arms around my waist. Her head is tucked under my chin, a position that usually relaxes me, but this time, my body is fucking stiff. Whatever she’s going to say can’t be good. It certainly won’t be a yes.
“Look,” she sighs. “You’re taking my fuckup and the news bizarrely well. What if what you’re feeling is just the honeymoon phase? What if, a year from now, you end up resenting me for all this? You’re going to regret marrying me.”
Here we go with her self-brainwashing again. How she thinks I can ever resent the woman that I love for giving me a family, I have no fucking clue.
“We both fucked up. And of course I’m taking the news well. I’m happy. Aren’t you?”
“I am,” Gigi answers, but I sense hesitation in her tone. She gnaws on the inside of her bottom lip before continuing. “But it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a high right now and might look at things differently in a few months’ time.”
“Are you afraid of what people might think?” I ask her in a low tone. I already feel my demons lurking in the shadows. The ones that like to destroy my confidence and happiness. The ones that fill me with self-doubt. “Are you embarrassed that I knocked you up?”
I feel her mouth form into a smile as she nuzzles my neck. “No. But aside from my mom, we haven’t told anybody yet. What if you end up getting spooked at what they’re about to say? I bet you’ll regret asking me then.”
Why is she making up random excuses on why we shouldn’t get married?
Something tells me this will not end well for me if I push my luck tonight, so I let it go for now. “Tell you what…I won’t ask again until we’re finished with the Gigi-is-pregnant-by-her-stepbrother announcements, but promise me you’ll think about it?” Reassure. Reassure. Reassure. “I love you, Gi. Nothing will change my mind about how I feel about you.”
Not a year from now. Not two years from now. Not five years from now. Not even eighteen years from now.
Picture it, Luke. And don’t let anything ruin it.