44. Luke
CHAPTER 44
Luke
A FEW WEEKS LATER
My palms are all clammy. This is a huge step. This will change our lives forever. This has the potential to tilt us off our axis. This is what asking Gigi to marry me should’ve fucking felt like, but we tied the knot under extraordinary circumstances. There was no room for me to act all riled up, get nervous, and swirl around in my own head.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” I whisper in her ear as I brush away the hair on her face. “We need to talk.”
As much as it hurt because Kai has become family to us, we helped him move out yesterday. And now, she’s wiped out. She slept the whole night through and I let her. That’s what bottles are for, right? Combo feeding, I think it’s called. Besides, if her snoring isn’t any indication that she really needed her rest, the fact that she hasn’t woken up and realized that me and the twins left the apartment to drive to Kinsdale Springs and back definitely is.
“Gigi,” I hum her name.
“What time is it?” she groans. “Please remind me to start working out. My whole body is sore from carrying all the boxes.”
I chuckle. “Told you that you should’ve just stayed with labeling instead.”
Her eyes flutter open, and glaring at me is the first thing on the agenda. “And like I told you last night, if you both had stopped throwing around the boxes I labeled as fragile like it was worth nothing, I would’ve.” Propping herself on her elbows, Gigi yawns and says, “Why do we need to talk?”
Picture it, Luke. And don’t let anything ruin it. For real this time, not even you.
“Gwen, Ethan, and I took a drive to Kinsdale Springs today. We visited Becca and Bianca.”
“Oh?”
“Bianca and I discussed some things, but I wanted to run it by you first.”
Remember, Luke, if she says no, don’t you dare push it. Remember what your therapist said. Sometimes what you perceive as the best course of action might be seen differently by Gigi.
Gigi nods.
“Becca told me that she’s been getting bullied at school because of Dad and Uncle Mike. She wants to switch schools.” Gigi’s expression instantly morphs into pity as she shifts to lean on the headboard. “And today, when we were there, Bianca told me she’s not sold on the idea of her staying in that house long-term.”
“If my mom wants to go back to New York, Becca can stay in Kai’s old room, right? How much money do we still have? I know rent won’t be cheap if we don’t get a new roommate but take her in instead, but we can swing it, I’m sure. I’ll look for a job. We can put the twins in daycare, and I can put in a request to study part-time so that I can find something better than waitressing. I’m sure her social w?—”
“Gi.” I can’t hide the grin on my face.
“What?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Shit,” she mumbles breathlessly. “Sorry. You need calm-and-collected Gigi.”
“I need a rambling Gigi. Always.” Gigi rolls her eyes as her cheeks turn pink. “Anyway, can I continue?”
She nods.
“Your mom doesn’t want to move back to New York. She loves it here, but she thinks it isn’t the best for Becca to stay in that town. She proposed a really crazy idea.” One that caused me to spit out my coffee. “If we sell the house in Kinsdale Springs and pool our money together from the sale proceedings, we might be able to afford something in Ravensfield.”
“My mom suggested this?” Gigi looks dumbfounded. “Why would she do that? And I might not know a lot about real estate prices, but I’m not sure we can afford property here, even if we pool your share, her share, and Becca’s share together.”
“We know that…” If she’d only let me finish instead of interjecting every time I pause to breathe. “And that’s not exactly what I meant by pooling our money together. I meant the money we get from selling the house, a huge chunk of our savings, plus your mom’s savings.”
“Luke.” Gigi closes her eyes as she pinches the bridge of her nose. “My mom isn’t rich. She doesn’t have the luxury of throwing money at us. Besides, if she wants a new start, she’s going to need her savings to get her settled.”
“Exactly,” is all I say. Let her think about this first. When she doesn’t connect the dots because she just woke up and is probably still tired as fuck, I help her out. “She wants to move in with us. All six of us together.”
When Bianca suggested it to me, I thought she was pulling my leg. But it makes absolute sense. We’d be a two-income household, right from the get-go. Unconventional, but a two- income household, nonetheless. The bank is going to love it, Becca’s social worker is going to love it. Gigi can focus on the kids and her classes, and we won’t have to deal with landlords doubting how we’d pay for rent because we would own the property.
“And you’re okay with living with your mother-in-law?”
“I am,” I say, shrugging. “I love her.” I can’t thank Bianca enough for loving Becca. We lucked out when Dad somehow managed to get Bianca to agree to marry him. He must’ve drugged her because she was way out of his league. Not even from the same universe. Instead of a fellow alcoholic, or worse, a drug addict, Dad snagged himself a nurse who stepped up to the plate when it came to raising my sister.
“And she’s okay with living with us? Like all of us under one roof?”
“She said it was either that or try her hand at online dating again.” When Gigi grimaces, I chuckle and get on the bed to join her. “She wants to spend time with Ethan and Gwen, Gi. She wants to make up for the time she lost with you.”
“Are you really okay with this? I don’t think many guys would be open to the idea.”
“I am.” I don’t tell her that her mom also tried the same pressure tactic her dad used on me—the you knocked her up and didn’t marry in a Catholic church spiel. I realized this is just how Gigi’s parents operate, and I’m okay with that. They try to guilt-trip and manipulate me a lot, but at the end of the day, every single one of their decisions is based on the love they have for their kid.
I think sometimes children forget that parents are fucking humans, too. They’re prone to mistakes. They’re prone to cracking under stress. They’re prone to breaking down. But all that doesn’t mean that they don’t love us with every single broken piece they’re made of. I know in his own fucked-up way, Dad loved me.
When Gigi doesn’t continue the conversation, I ask, “The question is, are you okay with this? I haven’t said yes. If you want to stay in this apartment with Becca, I’ll turn off the roommates wanted ad I put on Craigslist.”
“Are you kidding me?” Gigi squeals, grinning. “I’d love to live with Becca and my mom. You know how much I love them. We used to live in the same apartment building as my dad’s side of the family, and whoever didn’t live there lived down the road from us. I’m used to this.” Pausing, she takes a tentative glance, meeting my eyes. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Well, don’t be. I want this for you. I want this for us.” And most importantly, I want this for me.
Just like when I couldn’t believe Jakub showed up to my graduation, I couldn’t believe Bianca is still not disgusted with the Palmer family. She should be horrified. They both should be. It’s nice that they haven’t once brought up Uncle Mike or my dad, not in a bad way, at least.
These two are good people, and they have grown on me. I think I have grown on them, too, but I’m not sure. I sure hope the fuck so.
Gigi might have given me her love and the twins, and for that I will thank her until I join the other Palmers on the other side of the ground, but she also gave me something I never thought I’d ever dream of having again—parents that care.
“I love you, Gi,” I say, pulling her in for a hug.
“I love you more, Luke.”
I doubt that’s true. A small part inside me, a seed burrowed deep in my brain, tells me that I don’t deserve her. Gigi, the girl whose shine I was secretly jealous of, despite everything that happened to her, loves me. Every part of me. What did I do to deserve her? More importantly, what have I given her that’s worthy of her love except a bucket full of tears and depression?
I shake the thought away.
Think of happy thoughts, Luke.
You’ve come a long way, I lecture myself. Now enjoy it. Be happy. And whenever the demons inside you try clawing their way back up again, think of this moment. Picture the life you have right now. And don’t ever let them win.